[Tutorial] How to pass a probation/parole drug test

Okay, this is the most successful tutorial you will find on all of the internet. I have been on probation for 5 months, and I get tested once a month. I have never failed and i smoke every day. This should probably become a sticky thread, but that isn't for me to decide. Any who try this will be able to vouch for this method. Follow these steps exactly and YOU WILL PASS.
 
-Things you will need
1. Water Pills.
2. Sure Gel fruit pectin (yellow box)
3. A large bottle of powerade or gatorade.
4. Lots of fucking water.
5. A nicely rolled blunt for the trip home after passing.
 
<span style="font-size:24px;">-Steps</span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">1. Stop smoking 2-4 days before your test. Obviously your odds are increased the more days you go without smoking.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">2. Three days before the test, take 6 water pills a day. Three times a day.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">3. The day of the test, drink water throughout your day. Don't go crazy with this and kill yourself with kidney failure, because that would suck. Piss as many times as you can this day.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">4. Four hours before the test, begin to drink water at a faster rate. But do not go overboard and die.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">5. Two hours before the test, drink a little bit of your Gatorade/Powerade and dump all the Sure Gel into it and violently shake it for around 45 seconds and make sure it is all dissolved. This is critical.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">6. Chug it. Easier said than done, I know. Just drink it in a matter of 4-5 minutes and you'll be fine. (WARNING: it tastes like shit.)</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">7. Chug a regular sized bottle of water right after finishing the Sure Gel infused liquid.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">8. Drink another bottle of water between now and 15 mins prior to your test. Piss 2-3 times before the test, but not too many times!</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">9. Right before you go into the building to take the test, chug a bottle of water.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">10. Before going to your officer's office, use the bathroom one final time and dont worry, you'll be able to piss for your test withing like 5 minutes. (After drinking the Sure Gel, you should urinate no more than 4 times before taking the test.)</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">11. When taking the test, DO NOT let the beginning of your stream nor the end of it enter the cup. Only middle piss should go into the cup.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">12. When the officer asks why your piss is so clear (that is, if he does) tell him you have been drinking primarily water lately because you are concerned with your weight, health, etc.</span></span>
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;">13. Return to your car and smoke a fucking blunt because you aren't in jail.</span></span>
 
 
<span style="font-size:24px;"><span style="font-size:14px;"><span style="font-size:24px;">READ THIS!!!!</span></span></span>
Many sites say that Sure Gel does not work. They say that its not needed and that the only reason it works is because of the amount of water you drink with it dilutes the urine sample. Whether or not that is true, I do not know. Better safe than sorry. Also, taking B12 vitamins will help your urine retain its yellow glowing color. Steak also helps with this. Water pills are also said to have no effect, but like I said, better safe than sorry.
 
If anyone uses this method and fails a test, tell me in the comments or in any other way and I will remove this thread. But as long as this is still up, this method is working. I have a test tomorrow. I will be back to comment and tell you all how it goes. Thank you.

Suggestions greatly welcomed

 

If youre in the states any grocery store should have some. 

 

There is a very low chance that they will send the test off for further testing. It's more common for those on drug court or those who are on parole rather than probation. You are correct though. Appreciate the feedback!

 

If its for a job, they most likely wont watch you piss. Have a friend go with you to take the test who can piss clean samples. Right before you go in, get said friend to piss in a large eye drop bottle or some other small container and tape it under your arm or under your sack to keep warm.