I am not trying to describe my whole life story to you folks but I thought this was a pretty interesting debate or what not....Bare with me beacause my english sucks as welll. I've known my nigga for the past 12 years ever since I came to the states, we did so much shit together, go out, smoke, drink, get fucked up , fuck ho's in our car and all that good shit as a youngsta, we've grown now and I am 24 years old, the nigga is like 20 years old....he really changed alot and grown wich is a good thing but know he has this girl he's been going out for the past 6months, and ever since he met her he acts weird around me, and completetly not 100% around me like he was back in the day.... Like for example, he called me to the lake to chill one day just me and him and smoke and just catch on things since we've havent been talking for like a week (wich is alot of time considering we use to hang out everyday), anyway we were chilling at the lake and outta no where his girl shows up, we wasn't even expecting her to show but she comes along and wants to chill with us, so we all 3 started smoking and just talking. It seemed like she was having a real good time, until my homie said hes feeling sick and he has to go so we all decided to go, i went home and he went about his way, i really thought he was going home after that like he told me he was. Came to find out that same day about an hour later i catch him with his girl at Starbucks, look now i have no problem with that at all but he is going different ways in trying to avoid me so he could just have quality time with his girl, and it just seems like he doesnt really care about our friendship like he use too back in the day. I understand the whole part that he's in a relationship and wants to hang out with her and take her out, but it seeems like he wants to be with her 24.7 -- know look I know what love is, I was in a relationship for 2years in love with this girl and sometimes when she use to come over at my house and my homie use to show up sometimes i use to leave her in my room and i use to go utside and chill with him for 2-3 hrs~ and what not, she use to get mad at me wich is understandable but i've never disrespected him in any kind of way when he wanted to chill with me. So I dont get it, does he no longer wanna my homie, and just wants to be with her , or whats the deal? Any input would be pretty much appreciated it. Thanks
Sounds like homie is growing up and leaving you in the dust, mate. Maybe you ought to try doing the same. Note: not that bailing on you like he did is cool, but in the same breath, it's not cool to expect your buddy to party with you like he used to.
But we dont even party anymore, or even go to clubs like we use too...that's the thing, and its like when we all 3 hanging out he doesnt even act like himself he acts like someone that he's not, and its pretty weird. I've addressed him about it and he said its nothing just trying to impress his girl and what not. Dude that's not true. Like I said I was in relationship for 2years and I've never try to ditch my friends. It was times where my girl would come to my house and my homie would show up randomly and I'd leave her in the room and go outside by my front yard and smoke or drink with him until he left. So that's not true at all.
looks pretty true after reading your post and follow up... not saying every guy changes but to answer your topic question, your friend did.
maybe he feels like he can tell you things he can't tell his girl, or vice versa, and doesn't want to be high in that situation.
..and what could it be? Its not like I try to get him to chase ho's when we're together, I've respected his relationship and I even told her that when he's around me his in good hands. And to me it seems that she likes me as a friend of his and told me that I was a good person and she can already tell, she's never shown any negative vibe around me.Matter fact one day I ran outta gas going to the lake , i didnt have cash on me and she gave me $25 to go get some gas to put in my car.
Today woman demands that her man hand over his balls so she can keep them in her purse. There will be hell to pay if he doesn't.
um, yeah, it is true. You just dont know how to treat a lady right. Ive been friends for 20+ years with my oldest friend and women changed us both. I still kept my priorities in check, with my lady before a friend, but thats because im a grown man and not a child anymore :lol: I could point you to all the single guy threads with posts like yours or you could take it as fact, but i also know first hand that denial and especially self delusion is the strongest human reaction. Unbelievable to witness. So, take a note from your friend and get with it. You can only party and hold onto childhood so long. I have a neighbor whos fifty and still parties with kids. He's a weirdo to most. Not sayin youre a weirdo, just warning you not to be that guy hehe ~ poke
Wtf r you talking about bro? Nobody said anything about partying, and clubbing and all that good shit. I understand we're grown now and we should adopt to things, but do you think changing on a long time friend just beacause you're in a relationship now is a good thing? You've known ME more than HER...so why change for the person that's been there from DAY 1? That's pretty fucked up if you ask me. And what does this have anything to do with me hanging out with bunch of teenagers, all my life i've been hanging out with cats maybe 7-10 years older than me except my bestfriend that i called my bestfriend, well thought he was,but , he is 20.
I dont think its right, but its life. I never mentioned clubbin at all. I thnk you mixed up posts, someone above did though. Ill tell you this, i didnt agree with my friends wedding to the point that i didnt go to his wedding, and refused to be his best man. He drinks himself to sleep each night now, but i had been around the block a few times and it was his first rodeo not a friendly thing to do, but i always do whats right for everyone and i couldnt wear a mask that day. He deserved a better best man than i could be. And i invited no one to my wedding, it was a personal thing i didnt care to share. Everyone matures at their own rate. Same thing goes for learning. Unless youve got something she doesnt, id expect you to understand, like any other man would. Is your avatar you? You own a house yet? You got a degree? A career? Most people do by 25ish if theyre not hangin with older cats, know what im sayin. This thread is about reflecting my friend and im just offering an opinion on the direction you might take, while explaining the things you dont understand. I expect you to get defensive. Self reflection requires that. And things are always clearer outside the box, looking in. In 20 years youll look back at yourself now with different eyes, believe you me.
Yes its me, and I am 24, No I do not own my house, I do not have a degree, or anything like that. I dont know why that matters anyways. You didn't agree with your friends wedding and you didn't go? Thats pretty fucked up, it shouldn't be what you like, it should be what he likes beacause its his day not your's. Thats pretty damn selfish, no offense. But anyways, here's the way I look at this situation, as we're grown, we're older, we mature, we're wiser now, and all that good shit we dont have no young mentality anymore. But what baffles me the most is that when i am around him now I dont even look at girls or tell him "yo bruh look at that bitch" beacause I know he doesn't care beacause he's already in his relationship now, wich is pretty strong. I've always respected that. But it just seems now that he no longer cares about all the good memories we've had together, growing up, learning from mistakes and all the good shit. I honeslty dont get how some people could throw that to dirt and act like it never happend, ever, and pretend that all the good memories meant nothing no more beacause of a fucking FEMALE. Thats pretty sad.
well throw him to the curb and move on..some people change for the better, some people change for the worse...and some peeps are just dicks in general
I don't know your friend or his lady, so I can't speak for them. But when I hooked up with my man, he used to party a good 5 nights a week. There was ALWAYS people at his place, I don't know how many times someone walked in on us in the middle of something. They used to crawl in through the windows for gods sake. And I tolerated it for awhile, because the relationship is new and I'm not going to put any boundaries down that early on until I know where the relationship is going. After about 3 or 4 months, boundaries started going down. I'm not cool with having his friends walk in on us during private moments, they need to knock, use a phone, no longer allowed to just waltz in whenever they please. I'm not cool with cocaine, any of his friends that have that stuff with them can't come over anymore so long as I am there. Those things needed to change if he wanted me to stay, and he changed them in a heart beat because I give way better head then any of his friends would. Then I set up some more boundaries. All those things his friends used to do/say that I politely tolerated, well that isn't happening anymore. I'm still going to be respectful and let you be the man, I'm not going to fly off the handle because they are your friends afterall, but later on privately when that person isn't here I am going to let you know what I thought. If I find them to be people i don't want around me for whatever reason, I'm not going to be around them. So choose. If you want to hang out with me tonight, just know he can't be there, and vice versa. He would let me know he was going out with his friend and I would never say a bad thing about it or tell him he couldn't go, I just refused to go with him. I think it was around 4 or 5 months after that before he pretty much stopped calling that guy back at all. He just dropped the guy on his own. I didn't tell him to do it, but he weighed his options and chose. Suddenly his core group of friends split into two groups: Single and partying, Married and Goal Oriented. This doesn't happen over night, this happens when priorities change and personalities change. You say this girl and you get along very well, but you don't know what is happening behind the scenes when you are not there. She might not be as fond of you as you think, she just isn't going to show you that out of respect for her man.
I had a bro treat me the same way...I simply confronted him..told him that I thought he was acting like a weak-ass bitch and to either quit acting like a ass or take a hike....he said fine..i said fuck you......aint spoke to him in 5 years..don't care to ever speak to him again
would you like some peanut butter with that jelly? don't be mad that your bro is falling in love and forgetting about you Sent from my SCH-I535 using Grasscity Forum mobile app