There is nothing good about me or my life

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by MattMVS7, Nov 18, 2014.

  1. #1 MattMVS7, Nov 18, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2014
    Summary:  So many people think that our personal created meanings, our values, and worths are something special and are "more" than "just thoughts."  But all our own personal created meanings, our values and worths, and even our own morals (such as the ones you have) are all neutral (neither good or bad) and are nothing more than neutral thoughts.  Thoughts are just thoughts no matter what they are. You can come up with a bland thought in your mind and you can then proceed to come up with a moral or a beautiful meaningful thought. But they are no different. They are only different in the sense that they are different words, images, sounds, etc. and that is it. They might send signals to different parts of the brain to make you do different deeds. But even those other parts of your brain are neutral as well. Your thoughts (created meanings of good and bad) cannot somehow project themselves onto other people, other objects, or even other parts of your brain and make these things good or bad. Therefore, since pleasure stands alone by itself as always feeling good no matter what while pain and despair stand alone by themselves as always feeling bad no matter what, this is the reason why pleasure is the only good thing in life while pain and despair are the only bad things in life. As I said before, good and bad are, therefore, scientific properties for this very reason. They are the functioning of those atoms and particles in our brains that give us pleasure as well as pain and despair and even our own neutral thoughts of good and bad cannot somehow project themselves onto our pleasure and suffering and make these things good, bad, or even neutral. 
     
    So you would be delusional to think that your life is good or bad or that you are a good or bad person without feelings of pleasure or pain and/or despair since good and bad are actual scientific properties and your personal created meanings in life (your thoughts) can never be these scientific properties. As I said before, "good" is a scientific property (which would be the pleasure itself). Same thing for "bad" while all our thoughts remain a different scientific property (a neutral scientific property that is neither good or bad such as the functioning of the atoms and particles in objects and other things).  So you might then be asking how it is that people with anhedonia (which is an absence or very little pleasure) find good meaning about themselves and their lives anyway.  This would be because they fool themselves into thinking that they as human beings and that their lives are somehow good.  They are fooled by thoughts alone when, in reality, these thoughts are all neutral anyway (neither good or bad).  So these people would be delusional to somehow think that they as human beings and that their lives are somehow good anyway without their pleasure.
     
    Now I did not say that we were unthinking people or that any of our thoughts don't "matter."  We are able to think and our thoughts do "matter," but they only matter in a neutral sense in that they are not good or bad in terms of scientific facts (scientific facts obviously being the facts of life).  If what I'm saying about good and bad being scientific properties is a scientific fact (that they can only be the functioning of those atoms and particles that give us feelings of pleasure and suffering), then good and bad can only mean pleasure and suffering and that's it.  All our thoughts of good and bad or any other created meanings for that matter would all just be a different scientific property that is neither good or bad.  The functions in our brains that come up with words, sounds, images, etc., this functioning is all the same which would mean that there is nothing different about creating a moral meaning in your mind as opposed to any other bad or even bland meaning.  It is all just a matter of different sounds, images, words, etc. and that is it (just simply different activity in those specific functions of the brain and that is it).  It would be no different than the different activity of parts of your brain that make you blink, breathe, and walk in different ways.  
     
    But since pleasure always feels good in of itself no matter what while pain and despair always feel bad in of themselves no matter what and this is something that can never change, this would mean that they are the scientific properties "good" and "bad."  The fact that we can change our perception (thoughts) of what is good and bad means that they are not the scientific properties of good and bad.  All other functions of our brain are what they are and nothing can change that.  They can only simply be different activities of those parts of the brain and that is it.  For example, the function of your brain that causes you to blink cannot be any other different function such as the function of your brain that causes you to breathe.  So to say that your created meanings are somehow different and special from any other created meanings would be false because the only way it truly can be different is if the functioning of those parts of the brain that came up with these meanings was a different function of our brains entirely.  So any created meanings in our lives are just simply the result of different activities of those functions of our brains that come up with these meanings and that is it.  The only way for those meanings to truly be good or bad is if they were no longer meanings at all and were instead a different function of our brains entirely (which would be the function of our brains that give us pleasure and suffering).  Again, the functions of our brain that give us pleasure and suffering are what they are in that they always feel good and bad in of themselves independently of each other no matter what and this is what makes them the scientific properties "good" and "bad."
     
    But you might then be asking that if good and bad don't exist in terms of our thoughts, then how is it that we find meaning in this life and help others out anyway?  It would be because we are just designed by evolution to benefit ours and the survival of others.  However, none of that I just mentioned is anything good or bad since they are, again, not the scientific properties of good and bad (which would be feelings of pleasure and suffering).  If what I'm saying here has the potential to be true, then I wish to someday get this scientifically tested and demonstrated as true or false.  I wish to prove to everyone once and for all whether one's own pleasure is truly the only good thing in life, that one's own pain and despair are the only bad things in life, and that everything else in life is neutral (neither good or bad).
     
    Although pain and pleasure might be one function as a whole because some might say that we cannot separate our pain, thoughts, knowledge, etc. from our pleasure because all functioning of our brains is all one thing as a whole.  These people might then go on to say that all our functioning of our brains is of the same value and worth since they are a whole and we cannot separate any of these functions and compare them. So if that's the case, then what I should be saying here is that the state of mind we would be in without our ability to experience pleasure would be a neutral state of mind as opposed to being in a state of mind in which we have pleasure (which would be a good state of mind) or in a state of mind in which we have pain and/or despair (which would be a bad state of mind).  This neutral state of mind I just stated would still be neutral (neither good or bad) regardless of how much we use that neutral state of mind in helping others and doing great things in our lives and it would make everything neutral from our perspectives no matter what and no matter how much we viewed things in life as being good anyway.
     
    Also,  if you were in both a state of mind in which you had pleasure (a good state of mind) as well as pain (a bad state of mind), you might then be asking would you then be a good or bad person?  The answer to that would be that the pleasure and pain would cancel each other out in terms of good and bad.  So if you had an equal amount of pleasure and pain going on at the same time, you would actually be in a neutral state of mind.  But if you had more pleasure than the amount of pain you are also experiencing at the same time, then you would be in a good state of mind (just not as good as if you didn't have the pain to begin with).  Same thing applies if you had more pain than pleasure in which you would be in a bad state of mind. 
     
    I realize that it is in our evolutionary design to view other things in life besides our pleasure and suffering as being good or bad in life.  But even our own evolutionary design (and, again, our created meanings through our thoughts) are all neutral.  Also, I do still help and value others anyway. I can live my life valuing the pleasure of others. But all thoughts and personal meanings we create in life are all neutral. Therefore, even my own value towards the pleasure of others is neutral even if I were to tell myself the message such as that "At least I have given others pleasure because it is good for them despite my own absence of pleasure." I am not in the minds of those other people and cannot experience their pleasure. Therefore, it is only my own pleasure that is good. Even if it were pleasure that is obtained from either witnessing others experiencing pleasure or even me obtaining pleasure from harming others, it would still be my own experienced pleasure that is good from my own perspective while the pleasure and suffering of others is only good and bad from their own perspectives. Even if I were somehow a psychopath right now who obtains pleasure from harming others, I would still be a good person since my own pleasure is the only thing that defines me and my life as being good.  Therefore, even Hitler himself was a much better person than me since he had much more pleasure in his life despite the fact that he harmed so many innocent people (although there definitely might of been bad moments in his life where he felt terrible from harming these people and felt terrible in other ways as well).
     
    Also, since all atoms and particles are separate from the atoms and particles of our pleasure, then to say that harming someone in order to give you pleasure makes your pleasure bad, this would be false because the combined atoms and particles of the person suffering and other things do not have the same properties of the combined atoms and particles as a whole that make up our pleasure.  It would be no different than saying that, since the combined atoms and particles of a piece of metal possess a certain function and properties (which, in this case, we would call "bad"), then that also makes the combined atoms and particles of other materials the same as well (that this also makes them "bad") which is false.  Concepts such as good and bad (aside from our experience of pleasure, pain, and despair), these are the subjective thoughts themselves that create these concepts in the brain and are the functioning of the neurons and other things themselves responsible for the creation of these concepts in the brain that do have scientific properties.  And, of course, they are also experiences in of themselves that are objectively good and bad and also have scientific properties (which would be the functioning of the neurons and other things that give us pleasure, pain, and despair).  Therefore, our thoughts cannot define our pleasure as being something bad or neutral or our pain and despair as being neutral or good.  They also cannot define anything else as being good, bad, or neutral either since they are the separate combined functioning of atoms and particles that have different functions and different properties.
     
    Now someone might tell me something such as that I am a good or bad person and the sound waves from that message that person spoke would then enter my brain.  However, it is still my own interpretation that determines whether I am a good or bad person.  Actually, as I just stated before, all those interpretations and messages are all neutral anyway and it would only be my own pleasure that makes me and my life good.  Therefore, how good one is (their level of greatness) and how good one's life is solely depends on the level of pleasure they have in life.  Also, since pleasure always feels good in of itself no matter what while pain and despair always feel bad in of themselves no matter what and this is something that can never change while our thoughts (perceptions) of good and bad in life can change, this would also mean that our perceptions in life are neither good or bad.  Some people might claim that suffering feels good to him/her.  But he/she would be lying.  It would only be the pleasure itself that is obtained from his/her suffering that feels good to him/her while the suffering stands alone by itself as always feeling bad.  Same concept applies for feeling bad about experiencing pleasure.  It would only be your feelings of pain and despair that are bad while your feelings of pleasure stand alone by themselves as still feeling good.
     
    <div>Now even if obtaining pleasure would bring you and everyone else nothing but pain and despair in the future as well as no pleasure at all in the future, even that idea (thought) is neutral and it's still only the pleasure itself that is good and the pain and despair itself that is bad.  Same concept for if your pain and despair would bring you and others nothing but pleasure in the future and no pain and despair in the future.  You pain and despair would still be bad no matter what.  Also, some people might say to me "You can achieve so and so benefits from having no pleasure."  But that quoted message would be a message that is perceived as "good" from others.  But as I said before, none of those benefits are anything good and not even that quoted message itself is anything good either.  Again, it is only my own pleasure in life that makes me a good person and makes my life good.

     
    </div>Even our own actions are neutral as well and they are the result of atoms and particles. Our thoughts of good and bad cannot even project themselves onto our own actions and make them good or bad either. As for a question one might ask such as that if good and bad are nothing more than one's own pleasure and suffering, then why is it that we can even perceive other things in life as being good or bad in the first place and why is it that there are other things in life that are good and bad besides pleasure and suffering? The answer to that would be that we are just designed by evolution to benefit our survival by perceiving other things in life as being good or bad when, in fact, all our thoughts of good and bad are still nothing more than just thoughts anyway including even our own evolutionary design being neutral as well. Even if we perceive our own thoughts as being good or bad, even that perception itself is still nothing but a neutral perception. However, this neutral perception would then send emotional signals to our brain which are either emotions that feel good or bad. Therefore, it's only our own emotions that are good and bad as well as pain itself being bad as well. All other things in life besides our own pleasure and suffering are also nothing but neutral (neither good or bad) atoms and particles as well. 
     
    So you might then say something to me such as that "It's still not about your own neutral thoughts and your own pleasure and suffering in life. You can still live a good life through valuing the pleasure of others and giving them pleasure." What I would have to say to that message is that even that quoted message itself is just a neutral thought as well that doesn't make our lives good without our pleasure.
     
    Now some might say that there is no grand purpose in this universe in that we must all live good worthwhile lives and all that is necessary to live is to eat, breathe, etc. and that I should, therefore, be just fine living a life of no pleasure.  But my personal experience of pleasure was so profound and meaningful to me that there would absolutely be no way for me to be fine and content living such a life since my personal experience of pleasure (which would be all good feelings including love) tells me that it is the only greatest thing about me as a person and my life.  My personal experience now of depression and anhedonia (emotional numbness) which I'm about to explain below is also the worst experience for me and this is yet another reason why I will never be fine and content living a life of little to no pleasure no matter what.  Also, the reward system is a very vital part of living (our evolutionary design).  Therefore, this is also another reason why many people will never be fine and content living a life with little to no pleasure just like me no matter what.
     
    In conclusion, I would like to say, again, that I have depression and severe chronic anhedonia (emotional numbness) in which I have no brief moments of any pleasure to any degree whatsoever and there is nothing good or worthwhile about me or my life anymore.  If I choose to do things in my life anyway, I will feel enraged due to the fact that none of these things are actually good in my life and that will make me feel even more enraged towards my loss (absence) of pleasure.  Therefore, I will instead let me, my life, and all my dreams waste away because at least that makes me feel less enraged and less depressed towards myself and my life.  Even my own feelings of rage are the scientific properties of "bad" and make me and my life bad.  My anhedonia has lasted all day everyday for many months now and I don't think it will get any better.  I am also an atheist and this makes me feel even more enraged since I am unable to experience pleasure both in this life as well as in an eternal life of joy which would be heaven (which I now know is a false promised afterlife).

     
  2. All I can say, there is always help out there, always, even for you.....
     
    SJ
     
  3.  
    I'm thinking that the only thing that can ever help recover my pleasure at this point is electric convulsive therapy which is a shock to the brain.
     
  4. Cut a slit into your washer and dryer power line and lick it. Probably cheaper.
     
  5. If you've got some money or even if you haven't I'd say pack up and travel the world. What have you got to loose? May just put the spark back into your life


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  6. Obviously I didn't read.
    But I have advice for you.
    Human population is incredibly high, help us out yeah?
     
  7. I don't have a problem with depression or emotional numbness so I will mock you.
     
    j/k
     
    We live in the 21st century with plenty of medications to help with depression. Surely you can find a doctor to prescribe one..
     
  8. #8 benchwarrior, Nov 19, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2014
    Say external stimuli are merely translated as internal stimuli for the brain.. If this holds much validity, then what separates this from a game? If you are emotionally numb, study the markets. Store a portion of your wealth in bitcoins and precious metals. If you're the gamer type, study game theory and play poker. Start small with a set goal and double down. Your advantage will be that you can evaluate outcomes without the variability of emotions. There really hasn't ever been a better time to be a cold motherfucker like yourself. Most peoples of the first world essentially have access to the same type of banking Carnegie and the industrialists did. Except now it is transmitted at the speed of light. Think about that.
     
    But don't dwell on it. There are too many that require the empathy of principled individuals to alleviate extreme poverty and suffering from this planet.
     
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k_O8jku7so
     
  9. Exactly. I also believe that it will change how you see the world in a positive, eye opening way..
     
  10. #10 MattMVS7, Nov 19, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2014
     
     
    Some people might say to me "You can achieve so and so benefits from having no pleasure."  But that quoted message would be a message that is perceived as "good" from others.  But as I said before, none of those benefits are anything good and not even that quoted message itself is anything good either.  Again, it is only my own pleasure in life that makes me a good person and makes my life good (since "good" is an actual scientific property which would be pleasure while everything else in life including our own thoughts are different scientific properties that are not good and are just neutral (neither good or bad)). Now even if obtaining pleasure would bring you and everyone else nothing but pain and despair in the future as well as no pleasure at all in the future, even that idea (thought) is neutral and it's still only the pleasure itself that is good and the pain and despair itself that is bad.  Same concept for if your pain and despair would bring you and others nothing but pleasure in the future and no pain and despair in the future.  You pain and despair would still be bad no matter what.

     
    </div>Now before I address the posts others have made here, I wish for others to address and debate about what I'm going to say here as well:
     
    Although pain and pleasure might be one function as a whole because some might say that we cannot separate our pain, thoughts, knowledge, etc. from our pleasure because all functioning of our brains is all one thing as a whole.  These people might then go on to say that all our functioning of our brains is of the same value and worth since they are a whole and we cannot separate any of these functions and compare them. So if that's the case, then what I should be saying here is that the state of mind we would be in without our ability to experience pleasure would be a neutral state of mind as opposed to being in a state of mind in which we have pleasure (which would be a good state of mind) or in a state of mind in which we have pain and/or despair (which would be a bad state of mind).  This neutral state of mind I just stated would still be neutral (neither good or bad) regardless of how much we use that neutral state of mind in helping others and doing great things in our lives and it would make everything neutral from our perspectives no matter what and no matter how much we viewed things in life as being good anyway.
     
    Also,  if you were in both a state of mind in which you had pleasure (a good state of mind) as well as pain (a bad state of mind), you might then be asking would you then be a good or bad person?  The answer to that would be that the pleasure and pain would cancel each other out in terms of good and bad.  So if you had an equal amount of pleasure and pain going on at the same time, you would actually be in a neutral state of mind.  But if you had more pleasure than the amount of pain you are also experiencing at the same time, then you would be in a good state of mind (just not as good as if you didn't have the pain to begin with).  Same thing applies if you had more pain than pleasure in which you would be in a bad state of mind.
     
    Now I did not say that we were unthinking people or that any of our thoughts don't "matter."  We are able to think and our thoughts do "matter," but they only matter in a neutral sense in that they are not good or bad in terms of scientific facts (scientific facts obviously being the facts of life).  If what I'm saying about good and bad being scientific properties is a scientific fact (that they can only be the functioning of those atoms and particles that give us feelings of pleasure and suffering), then good and bad can only mean pleasure and suffering and that's it.  All our thoughts of good and bad or any other created meanings for that matter would all just be a different scientific property that is neither good or bad.  The functions in our brains that come up with words, sounds, images, etc., this functioning is all the same which would mean that there is nothing different about creating a moral meaning in your mind as opposed to any other bad or even bland meaning.  It is all just a matter of different sounds, images, words, etc. and that is it (just simply different activity in those specific functions of the brain and that is it).  It would be no different than the different activity of parts of your brain that make you blink, breathe, and walk in different ways. 
     
    But since pleasure always feels good in of itself no matter what while pain and despair always feel bad in of themselves no matter what and this is something that can never change, this would mean that they are the scientific properties "good" and "bad."  The fact that we can change our perception (thoughts) of what is good and bad means that they are not the scientific properties of good and bad.  All other functions of our brain are what they are and nothing can change that.  They can only simply be different activities of those parts of the brain and that is it.  For example, the function of your brain that causes you to blink cannot be any other different function such as the function of your brain that causes you to breathe.  So to say that your created meanings are somehow different and special from any other created meanings would be false because the only way it truly can be different is if the functioning of those parts of the brain that came up with these meanings was a different function of our brains entirely.  So any created meanings in our lives are just simply the result of different activities of those functions of our brains that come up with these meanings and that is it.  The only way for those meanings to truly be good or bad is if they were no longer meanings at all and were instead a different function of our brains entirely (which would be the function of our brains that give us pleasure and suffering).  Again, the functions of our brain that give us pleasure and suffering are what they are in that they always feel good and bad in of themselves independently of each other no matter what and this is what makes them the scientific properties "good" and "bad."
     
    But you might then be asking that if good and bad don't exist in terms of our thoughts, then how is it that we find meaning in this life and help others out anyway?  It would be because we are just designed by evolution to benefit ours and the survival of others.  However, none of that I just mentioned is anything good or bad since they are, again, not the scientific properties of good and bad (which would be feelings of pleasure and suffering).  If what I'm saying here has the potential to be true, then I wish to someday get this scientifically tested and demonstrated as true or false.  I wish to prove to everyone once and for all whether one's own pleasure is truly the only good thing in life, that one's own pain and despair are the only bad things in life, and that everything else in life is neutral (neither good or bad).
     

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