Trans* and Gender Variant Support Thread

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by Greenunit, Nov 4, 2014.

  1. Hi blades, bladies, and everyone in between!
     
    I'm making this thread for everyone who is trans*, to come and talk about our experiences, meet other trans* GC members, and find support within this community. Of course, anyone is welcome to participate regardless of gender identity, as long as you are respectful. This isn't so much an information thread on the subject, although respectful questions are welcome. There are lots of online resources out there if you are interested!
     
    I'm hopeful that this thread can be a safe place to share and discuss what can be a very complex and deeply personal issue. I know this can be a controversial subject for some, however I remind you that this is Grasscity and we have some very basic civility guidelines in place. Give them a quick read and allow your mind to entertain this subject in the right light.
    http://forum.grassci...guidelines.html
     
    Personally, I identify as genderqueer. I realized the true nature of my gender only a couple months ago, but it's something that's been a part of me since I was a child. I wear a binder, have renamed myself, and ask that people use gender-neutral pronouns (they/their/them) to refer to me.

     
  2. how does that work really, gender specific words are woven into the english language, that would confuse the hell out of me lol
     
    me: "whats good man wheres greenunit at?"
    person: "they went to chipotle"
    me: "who else is over there?"
    person: "just they" 
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. You used my pronouns almost perfectly, I just fixed that last one. Admittedly, gender-specific words are the norm, there is a distinct lack of gender-neutral terms for a lot of things such as niece/nephew (I've heard of nibling though, which is cute), uncle/aunt etc.
     
    A lot of people do have issues with gender-neutral pronouns, but they/their/them are better (IMO) than inventing new words. The singular they does have a history in the English language, used for hundreds of years. It can be confusing at first, but with some practice (like anything) it becomes easier. Using a singular they is also simpler and more intuitive than always using he/she if you are unsure of the gender of someone. i.e. "Someone left their waterbottle in lecture, I put it in the lost and found for them to pick up" as opposed to "Someone left his/her waterbottle in lecture, I put it in the lost and found so he/she can pick it up"
     
  4. Regardless of their personal preference, I'll refer to someone based off their sex more so than gender. If you accommodate one person's personal choice, then you have to accommodate them all.. and if you do that, it'll be a constant battle of "wtf do I refer this person as?" cause everyone wants to be unique. If I am talking to a female and refer to her as a female, I'm not in the wrong and any insult they perceive is on them. Then again, I refer to people rather neutral as it is, just my nature.. but I won't ever feel bad or wrong when referring to someone's sex.
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  5. I can understand using gender neutral pronouns in English. Hell, I typically do in situations like Greenunit posted, they or their just seems easier and more fluid as opposed to he/she or his/her. I occasionally do it when referring to a specific person, my wife does it a lot though. How would it work in Spanish? Just using masculine pronouns and adjectives as default? Would verbs be in plural form or singular (masculine)?
     
  6. can this be a straight support thread too?
     
  7. As a Male-To-Female transgender, I just don't see why pronouns are so important. Sure, I prefer to be called 'she,' but I always felt that if it makes the other party more comfortable, calling me a he is fine. 
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  8. #8 iAmBetty, Nov 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2014
    I think you mean "cis"

    But yeah, I would guess not, given the title and OP

    Are you uncomfortable with being comfortable in your body?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. #9 ByePhilipe, Nov 5, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2014
    I don't think this is a thread to come and debate your personal opinion. It's a support thread. That's like going to the mental illness thread and saying that you don't believe that depression is a true mental illness.

    It's extremely disrespectful and pretty much the exact opposite of support.

    If you didn't know any better, say what you want. But the moment someone says, "Hey, can you refer to me as, "so and so." You refer to then as so and so because you respect them as a human being.

    And no one wants you to feel bad. Just respect their wishes.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Where you should have stopped if you really wanted to keep the thread on track.

    The rest is filled with stuff I'd want to get into.
     
  11. My intention wasn't to cause an argument so I fixed it a bit.
     
  12.  
    I wasn't debating my personal opinion.. I was voicing it. This would of been like going into the mental illness thread and saying blah blah blah if I came in here and said that transgender isn't a true gender.. but I didn't, so it's not, Philipe.
     
  13. What a difference and edit can make, I actually agree with it completely now :)

    I don't know what tone that post gave off, but I meant to it be more lighthearted. I need to start using the smiley things more..
     
  14. Feel free to make your own... And this actually has very little to do with sexuality.
     
  15. I have no idea what you are talking about.
     
  16. Neither do I most of the time
     
  17. Cis is short for cisgender, which means that your sex and gender match.
     
  18. The very ending is a little odd as aggressiveness doesn't equate to masculinity, but it's a video that spoke to me nonetheless:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFjsSSDLl8w
     
  19. I'm asking my parents for a name change as my Xmas gift. I'm hoping they'll be down with the idea, as otherwise it'll be years before I can even think about legally changing it. The cost is extortionate D:
     
  20. I often find Male - Female Trans people sexy as fuck.

    I hope that's being supportive. The current state of affairs in the area of Feminism leads me to believe that if I call girls sexy it might be offensive now.

    I am god awful at not offending people I meet regardless of their traits, so.
     

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