I feel like that's probably being taken out of context, given she died hundreds of years ago... but fair enough. Anyways, I highly recommend that Lieutenant Nun book I mentioned.
I'm super nervous for this Xmas time... I don't want to come out to my extended family but I don't want to have to deal with the gender dysphoria that would result if I didn't come out. Maybe I'll just ditch again like I did at Thanksgiving. I'd rather work and get time and a half anyway Gah, I dunno.
I can imagine how much that could suck... I feel ostracized by my family just for growing long hair and wanting to be a teacher instead of a lawyer or something... best of luck.
Funny you should mention the teacher part... I have a sibling who has always wanted to be a teacher, at least for a while anyway. She's completing her final year of teacher's college at the moment, but my father and his fathertoo have been giving her shit for it all the way. Yes, she knows the job market isn't in her favour, but I admire her for plugging on ahead anyway and working to build up her resume during school to improve her chances. They just don't get it...
Got my name changed with the school today! Very exciting, I won't have to write my birth name on anything to do with academics
Not exactly a supportive post.. but I watched a movie the other day that reminded me of this thread and you might be interested in it. It was called Predestination, new sci-fi movie about time travel.. but the main character is transgender, of sorts. I don't want to give anything away and I doubt that you'll think it accurately portrays transgender (you'll know when you watch it), but there were parts that were entertaining. Like when they took a piss standing up for the first time and a lil smirk broke out.. but be forewarned, you'll probably think "da fuck" when it is over.
I love all my trans* brothers and sisters. Keep fighting the good fight. On a side note, I think trans men are sexy. I'm not normally one to romanticize or fetishize a demographic, but I don't think you guys know just how hot you are. And to you trans ladies, you're beautiful. Pretty good thread, Greenunit. Good luck in your endeavors. Shine on, you crazy diamond.
I've had some major victories these past few days! Since I've been home, my mom in particular has been really awesome about using my preferred name, and my dad has been making an effort as well. They even replaced my old personalized stocking with a new one with my new name, and contributed some cash so I can change it legally I also came out to some of my extended family on christmas day and was well-received with love and support. A very merry Christmas indeed
I need to vent about my partner. She's been really great about using my name and pronouns this entire time, which is big, and I really appreciate that. The thing is, that she has a lot of questions. So many questions. Most of which I cannot answer, or cannot answer well enough to her liking. She expects that I would know the answers, that if I know that I'm genderqueer I should know the ins and outs of what that means like I'm now some kind of expert on complex queer/gender theory. They often come in a seemingly neverending barrage and it drives me crazy, even if I answer one as best I can, there's always more that I can't. These interrogation sessions always leave me in tears, every time. She doesn't stop until I'm bawling my eyes out no matter how uncomfortable I am. I've tried to tell her that I don't have a deep, clear understanding of the way I feel that is easy to put into words. Most of it is intuition. But she can't/won't accept this. It makes me feel guilty, sad, self-hating, that I am somehow less trans or that my identity is less valid because I can't suitably answer her questions. She knows it causes me pain, she sees me cry after every conversation like this but will always bring it up again and it always goes the same way and ending with me in tears. If I had had any kind of epiphanies I would share them with her before anyone else. It makes me doubt myself, and undermines my self-esteem and confidence. Then she makes me feel guilty for not knowing, that it's hard for her to wrap her head around and if I could just help her understand then it would be okay. I hate it. Fuck I need a hug, a joint, and a shoulder to cry on.
She's most likely overthinking the whole situation out of fear that she'll upset you if she doesn't have a complete understanding. Her questions are probably based off of her own ideas about gender. Every single person, trans or cis, would likely give at least slightly different answers to her questions. Some would have trouble answering them, and some would not. Does she have other gq people to talk to, or are you the only one? It's really hard for most people to understand where we're coming from, whether they're just asking a trans person questions or reading advanced gender theory papers. People with the resources to spend all day trying to establish full understanding between trans people and cis people aren't really getting anywhere either. It's been a work in progress for decades. I'll add that I don't understand everything about my gf's gender identity and sometimes it makes me feel like a bad partner. I think I get where both of you are coming from. It's rough but it's usually something that gets worked out in time. My shoulder is always open
Thanks for your kind words I'm the only gq person she talks to, although there is another we both went to high school with but neither of us are particularly close to them. I don't want to tell her she can't ask me questions, because that's fucking up our communication which is just a terrible idea. I dunno I just hope we can work things out because I love her a lot.
Today at a company wide meeting with ~200 people present, someone used "...whatever you are" instead of pronouns when addressing me. So then I had to briefly summarize my identity before defending my department and employees from misinformed criticism (everything this person was mad about was an engineering decision- we just enforce it). Then HR wanted to talk to make sure I was okay with what happened and put together a way to educate. It threw off my whole day and "whatever you are" is officially on my (long) list of things that are worse than being misgendered.
That's so rude I would be so unsettled by that especially having to explain yourself in front of so many people... DEFINITELY worse than being misgendered. I'm sorry that happened to you, 6. *hugs* Sounds like you handled it well, though. Like the awesome human that you are
I handled it well at the time but I had a lot of trouble going to work today. Having a really hard time shrugging that one off. I've always felt the need to work twice as hard and be twice as competent in order to be taken seriously as a professional in my field despite my gender. Turns out that isn't even enough. It really stings.
Comments like that are so insulting, shrugging it off isn't easy at all. You're very intelligent and hard working though, seems to me like you're an invaluable employee and they're lucky to have you. You rock those ass cams