there are a shit ton of jobs currently available for those in the psychiatric fields. i shit you not! the V.A. {veterans administration} has a bunch of jobs listed. go to va.gov and have a look around. i have a psychologist i see monthly and a therapist i see every 2 or 3 weeks. i have great repore with my therapist and he was telling me that there is a huge demand for people like your self. he showed me the list he had for himself. he wanted to change to a related field or something like that. that was when he mentioned that Obamy did something really good for the vets. 1 billion in appropriated funds for new buildings and medical facilities and 1.5 billion to fund salaries and new employees in the VA health care system. all of those funds are for the next 10 years is what i think i read. and large part of that is going to mental health. i was asked to volunteer my time and help some of the vet groups out. if my health was better i would do it. that and i take care of my pops, he's 93 lol! PS.. i would return your offered salute with a snappy salute of my own!
That's a perfectly fine term with me . Thanks for the support it is always nice to talk to others who have a good knowledge base on the subject. I'll shoot you a PM next time it hits me hard. I'm a semester or so away from my assc. That's my best friend is my best friend because he's paranoid schizophrenic and he's the only person i've ever met that thinks like i do. Idk what i'd do with out him. Thank you a ton :3. I know i'm my own worst enemy. I just can't get myself to believe ya know? Now that the semester is done and my car is working i can start trying to work on myself primarily which hopefully will lead to some progress. That's why i love this site and members you guys have always had my back and good words for me. GC is a good family to be a part of. The reason i chose this profession was to help people like myself. I always wanted to be the person for others that i never had. I love it so much.
I began to transition 10 years ago and I still hate shopping for shoes and talking to my family. These things make me feel bad but I found things to love about myself. Did anyone else here come from a Muslim family?
I fully support this however I do not support male to female trans people competing in sports. What I mean is I don't think it's fair for a once male now female to compete in female sports especially combat sports where people can get seriously hurt.
Since making some changes last fall, I can't believe how much happier I am! People around me are noticing as well... My gf's mom said that I seem more comfortable in my skin than she's ever seen, and she's known me for almost a decade I got my first piece of gov't ID with my new name on it last week! Getting everything else changed around too. So exciting!
Sorry to just drop some venting in here again but i wrote this out for a few people close to me and it just feels good to vent and have some feedback and support. Sadly this is about the only place i can go for that. Ya know, sometimes life is a confusing thing every bit of it. I spent my entire life confused about why i felt the way i did. I resented myself for being the way i was. I was ashamed and afraid. I didn't understand how or why i felt the way i did, why i was different. The way i was raised those feelings and ideas are taboo, condemned, hated. Hell i was teased and bullied because of it before i even knew what it was. So i kept my secret. I buried it all deep and punished myself when ever it surfaced. And that's how i lived. Always in fear of someone knowing, always afraid because i was confused and because i was alone. I hated the clothes i had to wear, the societal position i had to play, the way i was treated in life. It resented it all so i gave up all power over those decisions. I let others dress me. I let others decide what i looked liked, what i wore, how i acted, pretty much everything. I did all the normal things expected of me so that i could be normal. I had no identity and i still really don't. to be honest i was and am terrified of being myself. Despite all my efforts i was still questioned about it. They always had suspicions or teased me mostly jokingly but it still stung like fire to me. In all truth i was always extremely sensitive, empathetic, soft but these are not attributes that are praised in a male. Not one person was ever let inside or allowed to see my true feelings. Most of my life has been a lie. The pain and fear hell especially embarrassment of having those things questioned was bad enough i thought that was the worst. Now after it all i've finally accepted who i am and have been happy, unafraid. I thought everyone would be happy or atleast understand at the bare minimum. I thought having my sexuality and demeanor my identity questioned before was bad but what i've experienced lately is so much worse. I lived my life hiding who i was, questioning and resenting myself and i finally make it to the other side thinking that was the end but no. Now i'm havig my true self questioned. Do you know how it feels to be accepted or believed nowhere? They shame you for being gay when they think you're straight and when i admit i'm gay and transgender now i'm faking that? Do you know how fucked and painful it is to have those closest to you tell you that you don't know yourself. That all those years of self hate, bullying, torture, conforming and hiding never happened? Do you FUCKING KNOW HOW IT IS TO HAVE NO IDENTITY? NO REAL SECT OR GROUP TO BELONG TO? HAVING THOSE CLOSEST TELL YOU YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT YOURSELF INSTEAD OF COMFORTING YOU OR SUPPORTING YOU THROUGH IT? I can't win can i? Before i was gay and hiding it now i'm straight and faking being gay and transgender. Hell i'm crying now typing this. So what am i? am i just what others believe me to be? Is that all you fuckers care about? Why can't you love and accept me instead of subjecting me to more fucking pain by doing the same thing the world did for years just in the opposite direction? No you don't know and you never will. I'm noone, i'm nothing, i have no color, i have no shape just grey. Left in limbo for the rest of time. I hope that one day i will never have to deal with any of this again but i doubt that day will ever come. If you can't support me in whatever and whoever i chose to be no matter what side i chose i don't need you in my fucking life. I have enough pain and hate already i don't need more. It all just makes me want to hurt, torture, make others feel as i do but i know that's wrong and will solve nothing so i sit actionless because neither road is right. I hope you understand if you ever look into my eyes i hope you see the pain and the scared, emotional, soft, empathetic person inside that cage. The world made me and it will either pay or be blessed depending on how it treats me.
A lot of this rings really true for me as well. I'm sorry people are being dicks to you, it's sad to spend your entire life being questioned, especially once you feel you've found your own truth. I really hope you have others to whom you can turn for love and support, although I know accepting people are probably hard to find in Idaho :/ I don't think that neither road is right, I think you might know what you must do to be happy, to realise your true self. It's scary as hell, the self-doubt can be overwhelming, and the nitty gritty of transition is frustrating. People continue to question me, if I know what I'm doing, if I've considered this or that, how I might be making myself a target for hate, violence, and discrimination... How I can even know that I am who I say I am. It's exhausting. But the changes I've made and continue to make are liberating, I can hold my head high, I have confidence, I'm happier than I've been in ages. You're a very strong person, you've been through a lot, and continue to demonstrate that you will not give up. I see your protective, empathetic side as well, when you let it show. You seem happy when you discuss changing your wardrobe, and dressing the way you want to. I'm not you, and I can't tell you what to do or who you are, but I hope you continue to explore your womanhood, and don't give up on what makes you happy just because those around you can't wrap their heads around it. As always, my inbox is open
Thanks GU ^_^. It is confusing enough altogether without others thrown in the mix and sometimes i still get panic attacks from wondering if i irreversibly have changed my life and was wrong. But everytime when i calm down and get alone time i get back to base and i know how i really feel. It's like most things worth doing it'll be hard, painful, and might flip your life upside down but it's worth doing. I'm going to keep going no matter what because all the anxiety and fear i feel when this happens or when i get loaded with anxiety is nothing in comparison to how good i feel when i'm allowed to be free. The part of that whole rant that bothered me was the fact that my best friend won't leave it alone. Everytime he keeps saying "o let me buzz your hair" "come on you're not really gay" He told me that he thought it was all a cover up to hide the hurt from me and my ex splitting and when you have doubts yourself something like that sure sets you off balance. I plan to talk to him about it next time he says something. I'm kind of fragile and i don't need that in my life right now. My absolute closest friend luckily understands and supports me completely no matter what and i'm so grateful to him for the things he's done for me. I mean i've done everything up to this with zero support so a few more years won't be that bad . I always forget to acknowledge my progress and have to remind myself i've beaten the odds everytime even if i don't feel that way. I've been really happy seeing the happy posts coming from you ^_^ i can tell the difference it's made and i can't help but grin like a tard reading that. Life is kind of terrifying but if you never experience it you're not really living.
I'm glad you've got at least one person close to you who's supportive! It's great to acknowledge progress and victories, no matter how small. I like spreading my happiness around, so I'm glad you can find joy in my journey as well as your own Well said!
Interviewer at the new job pegged me for a dude, so I'm going with it and will be maintaining a very masculine identity at work for the next couple months. It's only temporary so I figure giving my coworkers the whole gender 101 would be more hassle than it's worth, plus all the bathrooms are strictly binary anyway. Should be interesting anyway, I'm a man at work.
Exciting news! I'm now on the waitlist for CAMH to get an appointment to be considered for top surgery It'll be another 2 years or so until I hear back from them, but I'm not too concerned. At this point in time I'm unsure if it's something I definitely want, but the connections have been made and I can always change my mind at a later date.
My girlfriend is still unsure if she wants the surgery. I support any choice she will make in the future but honestly I want her to keep her genetic part.
I'm glad things are going well with you two! You sound like a super supportive partner, she's lucky to have you. I bet the extra bits make sexytimes extra fun
Hi everyone! I'm Charlie, and I'm a 25 year old trans man. Pre-t. Was just hoping to find new trans friends and whatnot ^^
Since going on T I get people gendering me as a guy more and more often. It's awesome, it's what I want, but it's kinda weird.
To be honest, I couldn't care less what you are. Live your life without murdering anyone and you're a-ok in my book.