Hello.

"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but." - Kid Cudi



First of all, I just want to say while searching in which areas to post, I saw this description of enjoying the herb and wanting to talk about it and immediately knew this was for me. So, hello. This might take a while. Fuck it, I guess I'll start from the beginning.. I was never involved with weed throughout high school. My childhood friend, Chris, asked me if I wanted to smoke with another friend of ours Nicodemo and I said nahh I don't do that, which was about junior year.



Fast forward to my first semester in college (of course), I started drinking before I started smoking, which I didn't really do before either, and that was alright. Hangovers felt like shit but I'd prefer the combination of the fun before and the pain after to the sobriety. And, due to the fact that I had 4 roommates from living in the Arcadia University "Castle," I'd never have to pay, so why the hell not? And one night, a dormmate of mine asked me if I wanted to smoke so I said fuck it, why not? And at the time, I thought that was the worst experience of my life. Greg was the dormmate who invited me, along with his one friend, I think his name was.. I have no idea but I think it started with J so that's what we'll call him. We went to Max's house. None of us told Max this was about to be my first time smoking, and Max is an extreme stoner among other things, so he loaded the bong, I watched him and took the second hit. Boom. I turned into a waterfall of saliva. Have you ever seen the Louis CK stand up when he goes, and all of a sudden.. here, Smoking Pot - Louis CK Live from the Beacon Theatre (2011) at 1:44. Long story short, I was gone out of my mind and feeling real uncomfortable cause I'm with people I don't even know. Completely unconscious back to the college, immediately told my brother I prefer drinking. When I got home, some other dormmates were in the lobby, I sat down next to a friend named Heather, put my head on her shoulder and asked her, "am I okay?" She said, "Yes, Akiem, you're okay.. did you smoke too much?" I think another friend, we'll call her.. S, said she could tell as soon as I opened my mouth. I forgot to mention at Max's house I was FaceTiming a friend of mine named Alexia because I felt like that was the only way I could keep my grip on reality. So they'd be sitting there playing 2k and I'd be trying to see her face and stay on earth. I don't remember much that night besides that.. so I probably went to sleep.





After that, I'm surprised I ever smoked again. But I did have this one friend named Mickey who lived in my dorm too and he was such a lovable guy. He smoked too, of course. He tried to smoke with me but I tried and had no idea I was supposed to be inhaling, cause I've never smoked before, and didn't get high.. but, he did come with me to Max's house another time. This time was much longer because we were using the Volcano Vape along with the bong that fucked my world up last time, but I felt good. Idk if I wasn't as high cause I wasn't hitting the vape right, I probably just figured when you're pushing it in it automatically hits you and did that. But I felt good. Aside from those nights, there weren't any important smoking nights at Arcadia. I hated Arcadia and after the first semester went home.





Felt like a bum with no job and not being enrolled in school, so I enrolled just in time for my communitty college. Almost immediately I saw Chris, caught up, somehow got on the topic of weed, and started smoking with him and his stoner's circle which was mainly him, Nicodemo, Stephan, Andrew, and Jessica, all of which I knew from school and had.. various relationships with, for better or worse. Started smoking more and more, and at first it was just.. fun. I felt loose, laughed at everything, shit like that. Then one night, I'm hotboxing Jessica's car with Chris and Nicodemo, and I say, "Yo.. we weren't meant to see this." I wish I remembered their responses more vividly, but in general I think they understood what I was trying to say. That's where it all really started for me. It was basically the first time I saw life in a new way.. I felt enlightened, but I felt upset, because I felt like every year after childhood that I haven't been smoking was a waste, and when you're an 18 yr old stoner, (I graduated HS at 17), that's a mighty long time. I felt like everyone else who doesn't smoke is just living life with their head down, Chris was the main person I told these type of things too. Actually, I think it was before this night, I told Chris when I'm high I feel connected to everyone else who's ever been as high as me, or even high in general. He called me a quick learner, for reasons I don't remember very well but I guess it's pretty obvious. I also remember another time telling him "Getting this high.. is like a secret," which I guess at that point I meant to people who don't smoke. At this point in time I was living in a part of the city close to Chris, but eventually I moved to another part of town about 2 minutes from Andrew instead, who started dealing, and Chris' phone went off, so he became my new brother.

Eventually I just felt like we were the similar souls in different bodies, like we don't have to say anything and just know what the other one is thinking. Or we could watch The Boondocks, use his vaporizer and just chill. And shit like me losing shit like my lighter and him saying, "Are you sitting on it?" Voila. I just felt like no one knew me better than him from smoking so often, because I feel like I am who I truly am when I'm high, and that this is how life is supposed to be. The most important thing Andrew did for me was suggest Kid Cudi to me.





I've listened to him sometimes before I started smoking, but I never thought he was anything special. Now, he's my favorite artist. My favorite person. I never used to be able to pick a favorite song, but now my top 2 are easily The Prayer and Pursuit of Happiness, probably in that order. I don't know what to say about him, yet I could go on for days. I guess I kinda feel like he's the real Pope. Right between us and God.One of the first things I did when I started listening to him was watch his interviews because I knew he'd put messages in them too, just like he does his songs. I'd watch him say shit like "Anyone who gets the album will get the message," which has like 4 meanings in itself, "To all my fans.. I am you, and you are me, and I mean that," or something along those lines, shit like that. Whenever I heard his songs, I'd just catch one line that could describe my life in 4-8 words or less, and he'd do this like 80 times. I would think about one line after I wake up in the morning and the whole day after. I feel like each line that does this opens me up to a new aspect of life, as I can see more clearly and understand myself better. I would listen to more and more of his songs more and more closely, blow my own mind with the meaning I applied to it, and go on the Genius lyrics site to see if people felt the same way I did. I was disappointed when I saw that they have no idea what they're trying to explain. Wrapping this up, let's just say I think pretty highly of him. Kinda went off topic there, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't waiting to talk about Cudi too.





I guess there would be 2 ways to describe how I feel, cause there's the body/do something stupid with the homie/look at things a little funny, and there's the new self perception of the world and myself, which I would consider a higher state of consciousness. As for how I'm gonna separate them.. I'm not. I'll probably, and by probably I mean will, bounce back and forth because that's just how it works. First off, I love doing stupid shit when I'm high. There's just something about a friend telling you to put the stem back in the bong, you starting to put it in the mouthpiece, pausing, looking at him with a stupid ass face and laughing together. I feel like when I'm high enough to do stupid shit, I kind of.. reset. Like I was playing a game and I just lost but it's okay, because the game never ends. One time at Josh's house, a friend of Andrew's, I experienced my first Cinema experience.. I was careful to say cinema here as opposed to movie. Because movie is the first word a lot of people use to describe it, which I can understand, but at Josh's house I felt like I was all alone.. in a theater.. watching my life. I just realized how when I don't smoke much, and just relax and really try to comprehend what's happening is when I learn the most about myself and life in general. I'm all for heavy sessions, but those are more of enjoy the moments, where small sessions are more like.. knowledge, acquired forever.



Actually, it's 3 ways. My sense of belonging.. in my own body, and among stoners, that I've looked for my whole life with friends and family, not even being able to find it there. I'd just watch them have fun at functions and think of how nice it must be.



Due to financial reasons, I ended up crashing on my cousin Pamela's couch, which is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I just tried to post a much more detailed version of this and something went wrong and I have to go to work soon so I'll elaborate more later, but long story short, for now, Pamela's sisters are Nathalie and Colette, who I ended up smoking with and consider to be one of the best nights of my life because my whole life I've wished I could connect more with my family and I finally found a medium.



I wish I could go on, but I have to go to work now

 

an honor to hear that, thank you.

Going to finish editing that post after I finish this blunt.

 

Then you enjoy your night sir

 

Thank you, smoking has definitely made me more friendly.. But we won't get into that, lmao