How to pass a drug test for tokers ( Legit with proof )

Since we all freak out with the news of that dreaded, freedom robbing, civil and constitutional right stripping, privacy invading drug test, for some bullshit job, I am here to create hope for those of us who love our sweet little nuggets of joy. Unfortunately, as much as I would love to spend countless hours saving lives, I have a pet human that requires every passing second of my undivided attention and unconditional love. 

"SO how does this work? How can you be so sure it's proven?" Frankly, with the news of that drug test, I panicked too, but I keep calm, and chive on. Here is how this works.

Check your BMI (body mass index) here

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

For those of you who don't know, it measures percentage of body fat, which metabolites attach themselves to. The drug test detects these. THCA and THC-COOH.

If you are under 25% body fat, you have a 100% chance of passing a urine test. Having toked 4-6 hits, with 8-10 days of no smoking in between the 4-6 hits or a .5 gram. This means you smoke 4-6 hits or .5 grams, then stop smoking entirely, and wait 8-10 days. There is more to this, avoid fatty foods, sugar, and carbohydrates the day you start to the day after your test. Now, there is even more to this equation. If you are over 25%, this time increases to a minimum of 14 days up to 20 days. Drink lots of water during this period.  2-3 liters a day and the key is to urinate and sweat for those users over 25% BMI. If you are over 30% BMI, you should just use the 30-45 day rule, following the same diet and hydrating with a gallon of water a day.

Blood tests on the other hand are the holy grail, for a frequent, regular user, you people only have to wait 7 days to be clean. It doesn't matter how much or how little you use.

Eating THC food stuff is a different story and I haven't found enough solid and conclusive evidence or research on the subject.

Confused yet? How this works is based on the amount of fat cells are in your body, the dosage, the frequency of use, and how much time needs to pass before testing.

Here is a real scientific study published during the 80's. I know it's still accurate because I have passed urine tests based on this evidence.

http://www.canorml.org/healthfacts/drugtestguide/drugtestdetection.html

Now that you are convinced, Lab testing, 90% of the time, is based on DOT standards, the DOT Rule 49 CFR, and with help from the CDC ( Center for Disease Control ).

DOT Regulations here:  http://www.dot.gov/odapc/part40/40_87

Advisory on drug testing standards according to the CDC: 

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00000138.htm

And now for the really good stuff, "How do I pass?"

Now that you know what to avoid, and what to do to prevent detection, this is the final step, but first a note on wasting your hard earned money on bullshit products, that taste awful, and make you feel like shit. Cleanse products only work because you dilute the metabolites in your urine!!!! They are bullshit, false prophets, a fallacy, and clever get rich quick products. The key to all of these products are to D-R-I-N-K   W-A-T-E-R....and lots of it. All of the old timers, correction officers, probation officers, and even doctors will tell you this is a technique most commonly used. IT WORKS!!!

How to pass ( based on LAB TESTING ), well stop smoking for one, with the given time calculated based on your BMI, amount of last dosage, and frequency of prior use, eat lean meats (Chicken and Turkey), green veggies, no carbs like potatoes, chips, rice, cereal, etc, no sugar, and hydrating/flushing (2-3 liters of WATER a day), to avoid detection.

Now The day of your urine test, drink 1-2 liters of water a few hours before your test. Urinate SEVERAL times, not once, not three times. 5-7 times BEFORE your test. When at the testing center, urinate into the toilet first, then capture your specimen MID STREAM, and then finish off in the toilet once you have enough collected. The key is that you want to avoid dumping the metabolites into the specimen, and they are the most abundant in the beginning and end of urinating. 

If this is not an option, I recommend finding a clean donor of the same sex, I can't put enough emphasis on getting it from donor of the same sex. You sure as hell don't want to be explaining to your future or current employer that you have elevated levels of creatine in your system because you want a sex change or for them to find out that your the first man to have a full term pregnancy.

I passed using this method. I have a BMI of 22.6%, I smoked 3 fat doobers of dank dank nugs, all by myself, within a month time. The last time I had smoked was 9 days prior to my test. I passed with the given research and information, following the same exact rules to a T. I passed a lab test with an initial cutoff of 50 ng/ml, and a confirmatory cutoff of 15 ng/ml. This works 100%. If you do your homework, refrain from smoking, and follow precautionary measures, along with the method provided, you will pass your test.

I hope this helps you all and good luck in all your endeavors. Also, for the sake of others seeking help, please post your results after the test. Remember, keep calm and chive on!

 

Yes, you can pass simple urine tests with this, but the reviews on this method are mixed. Plus labs can detect some components in synthetic urine. Not all manufacturers, but quite alot of them can be detected. Some people can't maintain proper temperature. I would only use this as a last resort option, since the chances of detection are high.

 

 
Nice trick with the apple juice there. Vitamins and niacin aren't necessary though. Not everything is 100%, but proven science doesn't lie. Lab testing doesn't test for niacin or vitamins in the urine. 

 

Check your body mass index. If it's under 25%, then chances are really good you will if it's been a month since your last session. Just drink lots and lots of water until after your test.