How to get girlfriend to work out

Are you really dumb enough to think beauty lasts forever?

You think couples that last 50 years are in it for looks?

Get the fuck outta here with that nonsense....

 

No a real man knows a woman is like fine wine, they get better with age.

Love doesnt discriminate, so this makes me think OP doesnt love his gf.

His words again:

Physical attraction is not as important as emotional attraction. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And peoples looks change a lot with age.

OP got with his gf knowing she was somewhat overweight and rather than do the logical thing, such as talking to her about his feelings, hes gone outside the relationship to pass judgement on her appearance, which is cold. Nobody needs the advice he is seeking, they just need to face the facts. If theyre incompatible, move on. Its realy that simple. Expecting someone to change for you is pretty fucking selfsish. Whos to say shes nOt happy just the way she is? Should she change to fit inside the box he wants her to fit in? I think not.

I agree with you though, if someone i was with secretly thought i was a fat slob id be pretty fuckin mad too and look at them as a user.

Whats he with her for? Her pussy?

And why the fuck should she control the way she looks to make him happy? Love means accepting people the way they are.

Ive been married 11 happy years. What's your experience with long term relationships?

 

 
I'm not stupid. I know what I have and why I am with her. Everyone has their own insecurities so there's no reason to pass judgment. I wouldn't be with her if I didn't love her or accept her flaws, and yeah looks are almost like a bonus. It's not why I got with her in the first place; she has plenty to offer and I'm not dumb ...I realize that. Barring what you may think, I am not a shallow person. If you ever read any of my posts, the complete opposite is true. But lately it has bothered me and it has since not been a drag on my mind the past couple weeks, since I made this thread.
 
Everyone needs a certain time to analyze life and their situation, wonder where there is left to go. The bigger bother for me was that I enjoy doing physical activities and she blows me off when I ask her nicely, when I do things with her I don't necessarily want to do all the time. Maybe she'll come around ...who knows. But save the soapbox rant, dude. I know who I am and what I have, and if you say you never had any issues with your own life or relationship, I call bullshit. Nothing is ever perfect or cut and dry. Human beings have emotions and never are the exact same.

 

I never said i didnt have problems dude.

Simply put, i just dont get how you can expect someone to change so that you'll accept them. Thats what it boils down to. You dont accept her the way she is.

I get it tho. I was with a gf in highschool who went from being a stick to obese within two years, mainly due to personal problems at home (she was molested and i helped her get away from her parents who were molesting her). Her obesity caused her to have an odor all the time. I still loved her, but i couldnt get near
her privates with my face for obvious reasons. The relationship fell apart due to the mental illness and her acting out and not wanting help but instead choosing to self destruct.

I really liked your post til the end. i actually respected the part where you explained its more about wanting to do stuff together? Except that part directly contradicts the bicycle ride, where even when she gave you what you wanted, it SIMPLY wasnt enough. I think if i was with someone who worked out 5-6 times a week, which is a bit excessive imo, id feel insecure, especially if i didnt enjoy working out, like she doesnt enjoy it. Did you ever consider that the pressure you put on her might be causing her to overeat? People who are the problemoften do not recognize it.

I think you need to reflect. If you were to read her this thread i doubt she'd want to be with you anymore. I wouldnt.

That said i wish you all the best and I hope in time you will gain a profound understanding of what LOVE really is. Because what youve written here about her, imo is not love.

 

My ex had a severe eating problem, she cannot stop eating (annoying to hear munching constantly). She would have to run on the treadmill a few miles a day, which in turn gave her these robust thick legs (most guys like thick, I cannot stand it). Eventually I got her to do yoga and dance instead by buying her a wiiU with the software and yoga pads. It worked, but ended up cheating on me with the newfound confidence and body.

I should of kept her fat and subdued with food, like how America wants it.

 

 
I think the opposite of what you said is true: I want her to be healthier so she can live a longer, better life -- with me. Her going on two bike rides with me in sixth months is nothing to pontificate about, and it was actually her idea last week (to which I replied 'yes' without hesitation when she asked me if I was interested). Yeah, you're right ...she probably would hate me if she ever saw this.
 
The thing is, I just want her to be healthy. She is a vegetarian but instead of eating meat, she eats sweets and all this shit. I used to be 240 pounds and now I'm 195. That's a fucking accomplishment, for me. I worked hard and I feel good. She has bad anxiety issues and semi-depression and goes after it the wrong way... I'm just looking out for her. If a relationship is meant to last a lifetime, I want ours too.
 
Love means different things to different people. I'm 100 percent faithful to her, I devote all my energy and emotion to our relationship and our sex is pretty great. You're projecting the way our relationship based on your personal experiences, which shouldn't be the case either. To each his own but I just wanted some opinions ...this is a forum, isn't it?

 

Im not projecting anything.

Its funny, my wife came home, i read her the whole thread and you know what she said?

She said, he never once mentioned her health, only her looks

/end thread

She was gonna write that herself but she had to go back to work

And now youve mentioned her health.

I dont doubt you love her, but you talk about her in a demeaning way. The whole, "she's larger than most vegetarians" and "needs to be thinner" is a reflection of your insecurity, not mine.

And in my honest opinion, i think part of her depression stems from your attitude towards her body. Chicks pick up on that sorta thing. My wife easily picked the most important aspect out of this whole thread that we were all oblivious to.

You need to talk to her. If youre concerned for her health, then your opinion should matter to her.

 

im just gonna go out on a limb and say the relationship im in is a good example. we both have our insecurities, but we are extremely open about it. we support each other and reassure each other that even though something about them isnt perfect, it doesn't change the way we feel about one another, the only suggestion ever made is support. im there for you, you're there for me. 
 
set up a day where both of you can talk about your insecurities, if her weight is brought up, offer some advice and tell her you're there for her.
people on this fucking thread talking about leaving the pig or slob so she can find another one to be with is terrible, that's not how a relationship works. 
 
telling her shes fat and its making you un-attracted to her is probably the worst thing you could say not just to your girlfriend but any fucking human being ever. 

 

 
lol dude she is depressed for much different reasons than what you would ever think -- things that don't even involve me. I don't need to defend myself or my stance to anyone, so I digress... I just asked whether others were in similar situations and how they handled it. And don't quote me when I didn't say shit, such as the "needs to be thinner" line -- I never said that. At all.

 

Dude i dont blame you for contradicting yourself.

You put this thread here to ask us how to get your gf to work out, even though she doesnt want to. Im done here tho, ill just leave you with your words to reflect.

Take it easy bro

You and I will never view each others posts the same after this "debate" im sure