Passing a Drug Test the Old Fashioned Way-LADIES

I'm a gal from Colorado who recently applied for a job working in the care provision field. I was interviewed, offered the position, and told that a drug test was imminent. I've been in this line a of work for years and rarely undergone a screening so I was in no way prepared. I did some research and really didn't feel like the dilution method + Niacin/ B12 etc. would work for me so I began planning to substitute my piss for someone else's.
 
I wanted to share my method because there are a lot of ladies out there who face this issue but I don't think you need to be taping anything on your taint. Ultimately you only need to purchase two things if you can get someone to donate their THC free pee to you.
 
I got these items from Walgreens:
 
-a box of adhesive heat therapy patches for small areas of the body ($10)
-and a travel size bottle that's oblong rather than cylindrical (<$2).
 
1. Prepare by wearing your everyday push up bra. Mine had a partial bodice so there was more fabric to attach the adhesive patch to. 
 
2. Attach one adhesive patch to the bra with the non sticky side facing your chest. 
 
3. Attach one adhesive patch to your chest. You now have a little hot pocket to store your bottle of sub urine. 
 
If you have to store your urine for any period of time, refrigerate it and reheat in microwave or dip bottle in boiling water. DON'T nuke it. It just needs to maintain a temp of 90-100 degrees. Place bottle between two heat patches.
 
Do not tuck it behind adhesive parts because then you'll have to wrestle it out and that could be suspicious sounding from the other side of the door.
 
4. Wear a sports bra over all that business. This ensures that the pocket stays in place and hides the bulge of the bottle. I imagine that this wouldn't be so much of an issue for ladies with larger breasts but I'm a B girl so I had to take  the necessary precautions.
 
5. Wear a loose-fitting, NOT low cut blouse. You can't see shit! and you look classy even when you're smuggling someone else's pee between your tits. 
 
It was a stressful experience but I really wanted the job and I got it. I had the sub urine on me for about 1.5 hours before I even took the test, while I was staring my employers in the face, filling out the initial paperwork. It maintained proper temp. Good luck ladies!

 

Unfortunatel
 

Unfortunately, no. Wah wah