Broke things off because she has a kid

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by HiGhRiTeNoW, Sep 27, 2014.

  1. #1 HiGhRiTeNoW, Sep 27, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2014
    I am applying to medical school next month...and I've never saw myself playing "father" to someone else's kid...especially while im in medical school. Tonight, I broke things off with this woman because she has a four year old son who started hugging me nonstop and began telling me he loves me. The mom got pissed at me because I broke things off since she has a kid. Am I in the wrong? I simply dont want a kid or have to even think about being a parent at this moment in my life.

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  2. I don't date chicks with kids either, but I'd the kid loves you that much, I'd be there for him if I was you. However, its your life and your choice to make.
     
  3.  
    First off, break-ups (more often than less) are emotional and have drama mixed in.
     
    From my perspective, you made a very adult choice to say the least.
     
    You are not in the wrong, and hurt feelings will be collateral damage, but in the long run it's better to make the choice than to struggle with not making it later.
     
  4. This is why you shouldn't have baby's with just anyone. This is why they say to wait to have sex, because this is what happens if you can't be responsible enough not to let the guy nut inside of you
    Blame it on the guy all you want, but in reality, the guy is going to be gone but the girl is going to be stuck with a kid and no matter how much she loves the kid, a great guy could come along later on in life and most likely he isn't gona want to be a daddy, especially to someone else's kid.
    As harsh as it sounds that's the way things are
    You know what op fuck everyone. Just worry about yourself and in the long run you'll be happier. Especially now while your young. Have your fun cause once your stuck with one chick and then you decided to go out and have your fun, it's gona be to late and she will take you for half of what you got
     
  5. You made a responsible decision in my eyes OP. I wouldn't feel bad about it in the slightest.


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  6. Why did you date her in the first place? You should have thought about that before you got involved.
     
  7. Although it probably would have been better if you had taken her child into consideration before entering into a relationship with her, I think you are showing a bit of wise foresight in ending things before you become obligated to care for someone else's kid.
     
    I've been in the same situation, although the girl in question didn't spring the kid thing on me until we had already been dating for a month and a half (her son was going to be moving in with her, and I can't help but suspect that she was only dating me to set up a father figure for him). She got pretty upset, but she can't expect me to play father knows best with someone else's child. Especially without any prior warning.
     
  8. #8 iAmBetty, Sep 28, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2014
    You're not in the wrong, but I hope you at least talked to the kid instead of just leaving. I don't know where his dad is, but it sounds like he wants someone there..
     
  9. It was probably the more responsible decision. Plus, if you REALLY cared about this woman you wouldn't have gotten so bugged out about her kid. Although, as was said earlier, it probably would have been smarter to take that into account in the first place. But this relationship seems like it was probably going nowhere anyway.
     
  10. I don't think there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting to date her for having a kid, I've got a daughter but wouldn't want a women with a kid, I'm a hypocrite :laughing:

    It just sucks for that little boy man, wish there was some way you would've let him down easy. Just when he was starting to bond and love you, you walk out of his life, that's going to cause all sorts of abandonment issues and a lifetime of psychological damage for the kid.
     
  11. I was in a similar situation OP

    Two of her kids started calling me daddy and it was only a month in so I broke things off

    Sorta a cluster fuck because all her 3 kids had different dads


    Omega369
     
  12. i dont even know how you walked into that shit storm, 3 babys with 3 daddys? she must think dicks are disposable.
     
    on a gamers heartbeat related note: what console do you play destiny on? i was just gifted an xbox one by a great friend.   
     
  13. Nope you aren't wrong at all.

    Your life and goals come before being a pseudo father figure for some random woman's meat puppy.

    You win.
     
  14. You should have spoken to the kid like a man - stop huggin me you lil bustad.
    And keep banging his mom.
     
  15. I think it was because I like sex

    I play on Xbox one also! My gamertag is BackdoorAlex2


    Omeguh
     
  16. Yo man add me OneDon Hoolio, im trying to set up a raid this weekend.

    On topic though, my first GF had a kid. Literally nothing good game out of that relationship. I wish i could get that time back. I will never get involved with someone who has a kid again. You made the right choice.

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  17. Should not have started dating her in the first place. Dick move.

    Breaking it off was the responsible thing but doesnt stop you from being a total dick

    If it were me I would have told her the koment I found out that if we were going to get serious I am not ready to be a dad or looked at as a father figure by the child at all. I would have her make sure to tell the kid that just because I play with him it is only asca friend and not as a father. You could have tried talking to her a bout that instead of breaking it off.

    If she is looking for a father for her child then you have to break up but if she just wants a relationship I dont see why you guys cant stay together
     
  18. Good thing u got out before things got more serious and the kid got more attached. If u stayed in the relationship u would just end up resenting the kid and the girl for u feeling trapped and obligated to raise him.
     
  19. #19 aznno0odles, Oct 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2014
    i dont really care
     
  20. You shouldn't just casually stroll into a relationship with a woman who has kids and not think about how much involvement you want with the kid until AFTER the kid is attached to you. That's pretty careless on the part of the mother and OP.

    I'm pretty sure dude knew from the very beginning that he didn't want to be a father figure so why even go down that path?

    I date and have a fairly active sex life but there's this wonderful thing called bed time for my kids. I use it to my full advantage.
     

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