I dont understand what you are saying. It would have been awkward to say it but there is a lot more drama involved in letting the woman become more attached to him along with the child when things could have ended or been resolved earky on. If you are saying he did not do anything wrong by avoiding an awkward situation it shows your own immaturity. If he did not want to be a dad he should have said so. When you enter into an adult relationship you need to be an adult and not avoid situations simply because it would be uncomfortable. It just makes things worse.
No I dont think yourre wrong. My last relationship I was hesitant because she had two kids, but I ended up loving them too because they were well behaved and I looked past that. But yeah I try to avoid chix with kids because its so much more different such as the kid still being awake or finding someone to watch them. I even told my ex I wanted to share my experience of having my first kid with someone that also didnt have a kid. But like I said I looked past that and grew to it.
I think that is the responsible decision for you to choose. What is best for you, may not be the best outcome for everyone but it is your life so do what makes you happy.
Nah you ain't wrong. A chick having a kid means she's not fresh anymore. Get a girl with no attachments, man. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
The guy saw some pussy and wanted to get it. He didn't care about the kid. Why can't single moms have a casual relationship with just anyone? I messed around and chilled with a single mom. I would go over at night, we would smoke and play video games...it was fun...till baby daddy tried coming back Just cause your a mommy don't mean you can't be yourself. You gotta have an outlet, some type of normalness if you have a kid...someone said bedtime is fun time. So true. If your not sleepy by then lol
You're not obliged to take on parental responsibility when you're not ready for it. You are not in the wrong here, you are exercising a preference. Sure, it will be hard on the kid (and the mother), but this is probably better than taking on something you aren't ready for. I don't see why you should feel bad for making a hard choice.
I'm with you on this one OP. I wouldn't date a chick that has a kid from a previous relationship to begin with, but if you're not mentally and emotionally ready to take that on, you don't have to. you're not the one that busted the nut in her. Things like that can affect a kid specially if he was attached to you but that's life man. she'll find someone who won't mind
Raising another person's biological kids is tough hand to play. I wouldn't recommend it unless: 1) The mother is a dime 2) You're an idealist who sees the beauty of guiding children with no father I'm like Obi Wan Kenobi to my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way.
If the mother "is a dime", she shouldn't have any trouble roping in another man to provide resources for her and her child.
Don't feel bad. The Mother should not have let her kid get so close to you. Young women in general need to make better choices w/ their reproductivity and realize when they have a kid w/ a deadbeat loser or some flaky dude, their stock value in the eyes of most men has taken a hit.
This makes me so sad for that kid It's definitely a tough decision. How did you not know she had a kid before you got involved with her though? 🎶High above at the edge of the world, we are searching for glory and peace, when the time has come you will see our return to the Land of the Free!🎶
I think train was being sarcastic. Well at least I hope so lol 🎶High above at the edge of the world, we are searching for glory and peace, when the time has come you will see our return to the Land of the Free!🎶
I realize she's being sarcastic. It's shitty that she's basically squashing the fact that there could be legitimate reasons for him not knowing, or for him changing his mind down the line, by resorting to sarcasm and a strawman argument. It's not constructive at all.
Of course you're wrong. You rode the wave until you got tired, and then you got spooked when a kid who doesn't have a father (I'm assuming dead, dead beat, or just divorced living elsewhere) showed you affection. Now she's out of a lover for being a decent human being with a child, I can only imagine, and he's out of yet another father figure who walked out of his life. And you don't have any excuse. No one put a gun to your head and said date a woman with a kid, if you didn't want to feel like father of the year. I'm not one for taking up baggage, and I'm young so I definitely don't want to be a father, but if the woman was amazing and I loved the kid, and the kid clearly loved me, I would have been thrilled. That's something some men spend their whole lives looking to acquire, and you threw it away because the idea of being a father, only in merit, was too much for the great medical student. How would you have ever survived reading an abundance of material while balancing your relationship? Definitely would have been a greek fuckin tragedy.
I don't understand why he should be bound to the relationship - the OP hasn't even disclosed how long he was involved with this woman or the terms in which they became acquainted with one another - we don't know the terms surrounding this woman's marriage either. So really, I see you basically persecuting this guy for withdrawing from a relationship that we have minimal information about and ascribing a ton of guilt onto his choice. Then you go on to belittle him for deciding he is simply not ready to be a father at this time in his life. At what point is he morally obligated to become a father? The 1st date? The 2nd date? The first month? The second month? I agree that it is irresponsible to string along a single mom and become a shadowy parental figure that only appears at times of convenience and is never their for the child, but that seems to be the opposite of what the OP is attempting to do. So what did he really do wrong? Withdraw too late? We just simply don't know enough at this point.
I raised my wifes brother from the time I was 17 and he was 8 til he was 16. Wasnt easy at all. I cant judge you for your life choices, but I do understand the reason. The only thing imo that would make a difference is whether you went into the relationship knowing she had "baggage" because that could easily be seen as playing with peoples lives/emotions, except breaking it off is kind of the exact opposite of that false hope
Idk, did you go into the relationship planning to bail? I don't think you can be forced to stay, neither do I think you should feel guilty about leaving.