Won't get into my life story this early in a post, however I just more or less had a question for you guys. I've always felt different from other people. I blankly go through life on a daily basis running on pure calculation, which I figured was normal. However, as I went on through the motions of life I've noticed that I am vastly different from my peers, in the way that I can't... hmmm I've been sitting here for 10 minutes, whats the word... feel the same as someone is the best I can conjure up. I'm not depressed, not by a long shot, but I'm not the opposite. Starting to get confused here, but basically I can sit here after a close family member dies and I'm like, "Well, that sucks." and continue on with my day. God, I'm running on and on because I honestly don't even know how to explain this... I'm just gonna post this and elaborate on how I could explain in further detail. It doesn't bother me at all, but It's just weird...
youre certainly not alone, many many people feel this way. on a lighter note, if you feel like a computer .. start coding, get yourself a damn good job or go into business yourself
Are you satisfied by living life in such a way? Because that's the question that really matters. If it doesn't bother you, and you're enjoying your time, then don't sweat it.
That's the issue it doesn't nor could ever bother me, which is what I guess I'm getting at. I'm perfectly content though I'd say, as I don't have to deal with petty stuff since I don't get entangled. A robot would be my explanation. Not depressed nor happy... I'd be happy if I could feel happy I guess, but I can't so I just fake smile and cry to people so I can avoid the inevitable, "You're cold." or "You're weird." as it has been said enough times that I feel it wastes my time.
Got addicted to some unmentionables, *cough* small and mint green, cigarettes, and Vodka, almost died from an OD and decided to go through 2 weeks of hell then just never went back to them... Smoked weed everyday up until a little while ago, but my guy was so unreliable I'm just gonna wait until I move to Colorado so I can have a steady connect. Wait, we're on GCF... Think we're all doing atleast one kind of drug...
You're emotionally detached. Some people are born that way.. I was. You should of seen my reaction (lack of) to 9/11 as it was happening in class. Everyone was geeking out, but I felt nothing but curiosity. The teacher was rather concerned and asked me something about it, forget what was asked and what was said, but it was probably something cold cause I remember he seemed even more concerned after my answer.. You can become detached through various ways. Depression, actively suppressing your emotions, being born that way, depersonalization through chronic use of weed, meditation, illness, and probably a few more than I am missing. A lot of people have this stigma that depression is sadness.. when it's not. Sadness is sadness. The brain has a way of detaching from emotions when exposed to prolonged sadness. Turn off the emotions, you turn off the sadness and help prevent self harm.. but the pisser of it is, the majority of all your emotions get turned off as well. If you actively suppress your emotions, it trains your brain in that way. Self explanatory, but some people can be born that way. Most cases probably stem from the mother not having enough vitamin D while pregnant.. and probably the most difficult cause to reverse. Depersonalization typically happens with people who are already prone to being detached.. and as sad as it is to say, chronic marijuana use probably isn't the best thing to be doing if you're prone. Speaking from experience there. Meditation is another form of training your brain.. and if you have a bad enough illness, it can detach you as well. I think that it's a type of fail safe like with sadness, only it's doing so so you can break your social bonds and go die alone for the benefit of the others. Like when an animal gets sick and goes off to die rather than possibly make the others ill. If it were still connected to it's emotions and their social bonds, they'd stick around and possibly endanger their loved ones. It does get tiring, faking it.. so much easier to be a hermit. Thing is, I don't mind it at all. That could be because I am almost impossible to be bothered due to the disconnect, but also because I know that once I am reattached, I'll be better off than people who were always attached. You can't fully appreciate/experience the good in life without appreciating/experiencing the bad..
I just assumed by depression you meant "sad", my fault for assuming. I was definitely born this way. The abuse never bothered me as a child, which people think is morbid because I can't understand the "woe is me victim complex" and have called people out. I'm one of those calm violent people, so I guess I have one emotion "Anger" but only when I'm in a fight and that's more adrenaline than anything else. I've come pretty close to killing a few people, so maybe I've just bottled everything into some latent rage... I suppose it's comforting to know I'm not alone here, though I suppose I knew that already given how many humans walk this planet. Edit* Also very good thorough explanation, I think it's great.
Oh I can "relate" but it's more so in a manipulative manner, I just can't feel like they feel... I can't connect with their emotions Edit* To clarify a little further I don't have social issues per se and I can read people remarkably well, and can fake my emotions to appropriately match the situation. I can bend people however I see fit because of that to, I just don't do it often... But then again, I do have burgers fly out of my ass from time to time... Sorry couldn't help it. I have a friend with aspergers, nothing like him...
hahahahahha yeah i thought of that when i wrote the original post. about being able to 'bend' people as you say, sounds more like an anti social or personality disorder now. maybe even psychopathic or narcissistic, but so many diagnosis can apply to people when they are just different and dont have anything wrong per se at all.
No need to be an asshole, only being a good OP. Also if your on Linux, you're not constantly updating. And, if you use Windows you're an idiot. @[member="storminator"] Couple psychologists have said I have sociopathic tendencies, but since I'm aware of my issues I guess that means something to them. But, yeah other than that I am fairly normal.
You're part of a growing number. Seems like you might know what you're dealing with about, a few were mentioned, but look up Asperger's, high functioning autism, sociopathy, introvertedness, emotional detachment, antisocial personality disorders, and depression due to vitamin/mineral deficiencies. There's nothing cut and dry about the brain, everything is a spectrum and I'd bet that a good many bits n pieces of each definition holds true to you. I think its bullshit for someone to say that a sociopath can't be aware they're a sociopath.. its more likely that even if they're aware, they just don't care.