I Think Im Screwed..

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by kiwigalnz, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. #41 Carne Seca, Oct 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2014
     
    But you didn't say I was wrong.  Same cheeks, eyes, chin, lips, even same hair.  Now I'm trying to imagine HER with a sexy kiwi accent.   :p

     
  2. Honestly girl I would just go for it with that other dude. Make a move on him or tell him how you feel. Fuck the dude you're with now! He sounds like a total asshole and you know what, I think you can grant yourself this one time thing. I understand its difficult to leave him because kids are involved and whatnot..but seriously seriously consider it!
     
  3. And on top of that leaving him is good for your children.  Do you really want them to repeat the pattern of abuse with their spouses/significant others/partners?  He is teaching them that how he treats you is the norm.  You need to break that cycle before it becomes ingrained.  You owe it them and yourself. 
     
  4. The funny thing is I find the kiwi accent so sensual.  It's sexy as Hell.  I will run over an Aussie to get to a kiwi just to hear him/her talk.  :p
     
  5. Good Morning Carne and everyone. I am not the one with the sexy accent, you guys are!!! :) I'm feeling much better today. I was actually able to look in the mirror this morning without feeling ugly, old and useless. I can see a desirable loving woman, I just have to learn to believe what I see. I know some of you must be sitting there shaking your head and wondering how can anyone put up with all the shit I do. When you've given your whole life to someone, your love, your respect and most importantly your loyalty for 19 years, it becomes extremely difficult to just give up on them even though I suspect he gave up on me years ago. It doesn't make sense right? I never wanted to give up on my partner and still don't. But I know he isn't the man I met and fell in love with anymore. I have to work on myself first before I do anything. My own self esteem and confidence was shattered years ago so this is going to take time to heal myself. I have been brainwashed and I need to deprogramme myself if that makes sense. With regards to the kids Carne, he treats them very differently to me. And he is rarely abusive toward me in front of them. He is an intelligent man. He knows when to verbally and emotionally abuse me....though I do agree to some extent they must be picking up on our unhealthy relationship. I mean..it's not normal that mum and dad stand on opposite sides of the rugby field...it's not normal to never see mum and dad together or engage in a normal intelligent conversation. A few times they have witnessed their dad telling me to shut up mid conversation with other parents. He loves to degrade and embarress me and knows he is humiliating me. I will work on myself and then I will leave this asshole. Bare with me please.
     
  6. Carne...I saw something different in me this morning. An awakening of sorts. Instead of the little voice inside my head telling me you're ugly, you're old, no one will ever want you if you leave him...instead of hearing that, I heard you have pretty blue eyes, you are an attractive woman, someone will want you. It's the start of my deprogramming. :)
     
  7. Good for you, just read through this whole thing and your mental attitude has shifted so much in the right direction
     
  8. #48 Carne Seca, Oct 16, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 16, 2014
     
    This put a huge grin on my face.  You don't have pretty blue eyes.  You have GORGEOUS blue eyes.  I was mesmerized.  You know what you need right now?  A spa day.  You need to treat yourself.  Do something just for you.  Be decadent and indulge.   :p
     
    I wish I was there.  We would have a hen's night and tear up the town.  
     
  9. You don't know just how much I would love that Carne. To let my hair down, go out to a club and dance the night away. A glass of whiskey would be nice too. I very rarely drink but would just love to get on it one night :)
     
  10. You doing o.k.?  Haven't heard from you in a couple of days.
     
  11. I'm just crying again.
     
  12. I'm trying really hard..so hard.
     
  13. @OP your current partner sounds like hes is psychologically manipulating you to feel bad, and stay with him.
     
    if you aren't having sex and he tells you you're ugly, why are you standing around lol ?
     
    you think he's going to find you pretty tommorrow and wanna fuck you like it's his last day on Earth ? probably not.
     
    your life on this earth is what you make it. one day you will pass away and that's the end.
     
  14. Oh you have kids , what are you going to do about that ?
     
    if you think you can just get up, and walk away...you're turning your back on children YOU, yes you, decided to have. Nobody forced you to get impregnated with multiple children.
     
  15. She's been with this guy for 20 years! That is a hard habit to break. Think about it, you have stoners that have smoked for 20 years and it's hard for them to take a break because they are used to it, even if they aren't getting that super stoned high like when they first started. It's all about taking control in your life. It's like a stoner having ambitions of joining the military or upgrading their life for that one special job they always wanted, but a drug test stands in between them and that dream. Obviously, if they keep smoking, that would never happen and they will always be stuck with no progress. The same goes with OP. She needs to seek a therapist since there seems to be a lot of psychological issues going on here which is preventing her from leaving (being comfortable, having kids, being desensitized to her partner's sick comments). She knows it's wrong, but knows it's hard for her to leave.
     
    Op, we are only people on the internet and we are giving the most support that we can, but it's up to you in the real world and take our many responses to heart. The first step is to seek help! We are here for you and yes, it is going to be hard. If this guy obviously hasn't changed for the better after 20 years, then there is no point stressing your heart and soul anymore. Smoke some weed and relax and take a walk outside to get some fresh air alone to self reflect on all of this. You can do this! You have to be strong and we are all here for you. Blades support blades and as you can see, we really care about each other here, so you can always have people to talk to.
     
  16. 'Say Something' by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera....it was as if they made this song just for me.
     
  17. If he makes you feel like shit, I'd dump him. Don't do it for the other guy you're hot for though, do it for you, you deserve better than a man who treats you like shit.
     
  18. I don't think I've ever felt this low.
     
  19. #59 kiwigalnz, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    Sorry for my pathetic moods everyone. Carne I have sent you a photo of my daughter. She looks very much like I did in my younger days. She makes my life worth living every second of every day. And no I am not sending my girls photo out to everyone..only Carne who I trust.
     
  20. It's 11.30am in New Zealand and I very nearly packed my bags this morning. Fear...total and all consuming fear stopped me. Not fear that he would hurt me physically...but fear of living alone, managing alone and just being out in the world alone. I'm terrified.
     

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