How The Fuck Do I Get A Job?

Fuck applications.  Show your face and speak to the manager.  Show him that you are well spoken, presentable and eager to earn!

 

 
i feel you bro. the only advice i can give you if you're already handin out apps is that you try out for jobs that you don't normally think of..i applied to be a bouncer and got that shit faster than any of the other "normal"-ish jobs i'd applied for previously. 
you may also wanna review your resume and make that shit spotless. 
 
a tip for interviews: pretend it's an old time friend and you're about to catch up with him. think of the shit that you can't wait to tell him about. it sounds weird, but act like that with the interviewer. you'll be more comfortable and come off as gregarious instead of just this random dude tryna get this job

 

Sell your soul to the devil and join the illuminati, the money will follow.

 

I understand your pain as it took me a couple years out of high school to finally find a job. What I learned during my search was to be more aggressive. When going in to pick up an application, be ready to fill it out on the spot, do so, and when returning it, ask to see if a manager or HR person is available to see you immediately. If no one is available ask when they will be and either call or come back in. Keep repeating until someone gives you an interview.
 
Also, don't be discouraged by drug testing. It's not hard to quit smoking for a while especially when it can determine whether or not you'll find a job. Worst case scenario, you find a job, pass the test, and after testing the waters for a little while, you can go back to your old puffing self.
 
Lastly, since you're looking for part time work, don't worry if it'll be a job you'll like or not. Apply for anything, restaurants, grocery stores, retail, etc... If you absolutely despise it, it's easier to find a job when you already have one or at least have some experience in the working sector. 
 
Good luck friend. I hope you find something soon.

 

ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die 

 

you gotta just go in, ask to speak to the manager/superviser/owner, tell them basically what you told us and ask if they're hiring, get an application, FILL IT OUT THEN AND THERE (if you're in a rush, bring it back the next day at the LATEST), and then personally return it to the person you got it from. 
 
none of this calling the place, filling out online apps, etc. a lot of that shit probably doesn't even get a second thought from the companies unless they're really hard pressed for people and nobody is doing what I just described. you have to show you want it bad, and that you're excited about coming to work for them. 
 
I live in an area where jobs are pretty scarce and unemployment's higher, I was able to find a job in about 1-2 weeks once I actually buckled down and decided I really wanted one. I have friends that have been 'looking' since we graduated high school 4 years back, but that's because they just fill out online apps, etc. no face to face contact, which is key. 

 

Bring a gun with you to the interview.
 
 hahahaha don't do that it's illegal you will be arrested.
 
 
Strip down during the interview and wiggle your wang at the supervisor
 
Hahahahaha don't do that either. You can be arrested for indecent exposure.
 
  Kidnap a child from a nursury and starve him for a week then bring him to the interview and tell them you need to feed your kid.
 
hahahaha don't do that either. Kidnapping children is not funny at all. Starving them for a job is even worse.
 
I find all this entertaining because a sick mind is a terrible thing to waste.

 

Start trappin lmao


JESUS GOT SHOT IN THE FACE

 

Dude just fill out applications and they'll get back to u ina couple months. The only way ur gunna get a job now is if u find a nice start up to work for. That go in and talk to the manager thing doesn't work, they dnt want to talk to u they dnt care about u and they want u to fill out ur application online.
It takes employers like a month to read ur shit.

My trick is dope cover letters they love that shit.

Sent from my HTC One mini using Grasscity Forum mobile app

 

Recommending applicants for hire is one of my jobs. If I don't like the applicant, the manager won't even look at the application. Maybe I can help you. This is what I look for.
 
First of all, we see you before we see the application. The applicant should look neat and clean. Being well dressed is a must. A suit and tie is not necessary, but ripped jeans are a no go. Work appropriatness is important too. Obviously no clothing with obscenities, nudity, or slogans that would not be considered family friendly. Hair should be neat and a mainstream style. If you have any visible piercings, for men all of them should be removed. For women, one pair of small, non-flashing earrings are fine. Visible tattoos should be covered. Just....generally an applicant should show up looking like they're ready to work.
 
As for behavior. Politeness is key. If you're rude to my staff, forget about it. Be well spoken. A lot of slang, or any swearing at all makes a very bad impression; you won't get very far. Don't ever bring friends, or god forbit your parents, with you. Oh, and don't ever ask for an application when the staff is obviously swamped with work. This shows a lack of foresight and inconsideration. In a restaurant, avoid lunch and dinner time, also breakfast if they're open for that. In a retail business, it's a bit dodgy, but 5 pm is a very bad time. Be sure you follow instructions too. If I tell an applicant to fill the application out there, and they walk out the door with it, they're not getting a job.
 
And regarding applications, fill out everything. Fill in N/A if you have to. Blank spaces look bad. While previous job history is not always absolutely necessary, references are. If you don't have references, forget about it. Bring all relevent information with you when you ask for an application. That way if they ask you to fill it out there you can. Having to leave to get your information, or because you don't have time to fill out the application there, again, shows lack of foresight. Always be prepaired to be hired on the spot when you're filling out applications.
 
And do check on your application, but don't call the business. Show up in person. And like asking for an application, don't go in during busy hours. You should be well dressed and act professional when you go to check on the application too.

 

When applying for somewhere, research the company a bit and find out what they do and act interested in the job.

 

I hear ya i haven't had a job in a while. Just like you in putting out the applications and resumes but no one is offering. Atleast not around here. I do hope you get a job soon. Best of luck.

 

Honestly, getting a job isn't as hard as people say it is, especially minimum wage jobs. I am 19 years old, with 7 misdemeanors, don't have diploma or GED and jobs and places have been calling ME to work there, and I am forced to decline because I work 2 jobs right now.
I do have past work experience, I managed a small business kite/toy store downtown for a few years. I also have been doing construction for my father's company for the past year.
Most places I suppose don't really check your background record, maybe unless you look creepy or come off some type of way idk, but I'm a small white boy and nobody has said anything to me about my record.
Most places really don't give a fuck if you have your diploma or GED, especially food chains and cheap places that just want your hours.

First, apply online to as many places as you can think of that accept online applications.
Then head downtown to local places and go in and fill out an application. If you see the store owner maybe go up to him and strike a conversation, ask if he needs any help around.

Either you'll have a job at the end of one of these days or wait a week and you'll be getting a phone call. You can't expect a job to magically know you want to work for them and all of the sudden your hired. They don't know about you until you give them an application.


Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum

 

I had difficulty with this as well, as I worked "under the table" on a berry farm for several years before circumstances forced me to look for a "real" job. Long story short, having good references is somewhat more important than a good work history. Especially if your references are business owners themselves.

 

I've sucked a few dicks in my day, but now I'm a CEO of a major company.


Omega369

 

I'm quoting this in case anyone passes by it without reading, this is very sound advice on how to act with the interviewer.