Totally not a troll and I understand I'm on the wrong side of the fence on this site but here goes... Mid 30's couple Have known each other since we were kids but the relationship is fairly new Both of us hold good jobs but mine is in the field of justice (ironic?) He smokes, I don't and I don't really care that he does We are both divorced with quite a few children between us I told him that my children would not go to his place as long as it smells like pot He told me this would be a non issue and that he would quit getting it in large quantities and supplying his friends as I questioned his true actions after coming across a large amount at his place I wandered into a part of his home that I had never been in before one morning after he went to work He is growing in a few rooms I haven't told him that I've seen this as I honestly don't know if my safety would be at risk? I have no intention of ratting him out but growing up my goal was never to date a dealer lol Our relationship is pretty much at a stand still as I would never be willing to combine finances or anything like that If I continue to date him and he DOES get caught, can I be in trouble? I'm not even really comfortable going to his place any more
Water and oil imo. Best to move on to one of the other 3.5 billion available males. Ask yourself some questions. What good can come of this? Will i be embarrassed To be with someone who grows? Am i embarrassed? Is this the life I want? Why am I settling for less than I expect? Is it fair to ask someone else to change, without having a serious relationship? Will my children be proud of my choice to be with someone who grows/deals!? Will this ruin my career? Can I be prosecuted? The fact you said you fear for your safety means youre thinking with your heart/loins and not your brain. You sound like a catch to me. Edit: best to make a list of the pros and cons. The fact he's not and cant be honest with you and vice versa is a HUGE issue imo.
Assess the value of the relationship. If the value is high, perhaps help him by helping yourself. Suggest that you support his interest in growing, but that your number one priority is the well-being and safety of your children. Perhaps search for options as to where he could move his grow outside the home, or maybe in a garage or shed- somewhere isolated and cut-off that isn't a tremendous inconvenience for him.
Your safety is not at risk. The plants don't bite or anything. I suggest you do not tell anyone about this grow because that could actually put his safety at risk.
Thank you I've been taking the last little while to just work this out in my head When I say I'm not sure if my safety would be at risk it's definitely not for anything he has ever said or done, it's simply because I have a funny feeling that I'm not supposed to know about the many, many babies in his house I was completely floored by what I saw and I think it's just taken me a little time to wrap my head around it Everything is perfect between us and had I not wandered his home that morning I never would have even began to imagine it as a possibility **edited** As to the honesty aspect, I 100% agree and have thought about that a lot the last few days, as his stories about no longer supplying others are being told to me He has told me about growing in the past but neglected to mention that it is still ongoing Didn't think about that # post before... pretty sure there's no real harm done by it but don't want extra risk to him :/
It sounds like communication is already an issue in your relationship tbh, otherwise you would be talking to friends or family and not creating a thread on a random forum anonymously asking stoners if they think a stoner makes a good relationship. My wife is professional, i grow and it works well because everything is always open. The mistake weve learned not to make in our years together is to go outside the relationship to fix whats wrong within. I recommend you talk to your man, since you really want to be with him, but be honest with yourself. Your delusion will hurt all involved. Ive seen families torn apart because mommy is afraid to be on her own and is too lonely, so she settles for less than she is really worth. Not saying this is you, but if it is, think about it, you came to the most bias place on earth to ask a Really biased question, so youd get the answer you want to hear. That's not your brain making you do that. It's illogical, otherwise, a yahoo answer woulda said, ew, run. Get my point?
Well, I actually came here vs talking with friends and/or family because I don't want to share with them what I have found out I somehow feel better disrespecting his privacy on an annoymous online forum than I do with those that sit and socialize with us. I definitely do not fit into the "settling for not wanting to be alone" category but can appreciate you putting that out there in case I did and it was something that I needed to hear At this point my main concern (besides him not being upfront about it, which at less than a year into a relationship I can half understand) is whether or not *I* can find myself in hot water should he find himself caught? He has talked about moving into my place in the future and that is an absolute no go for me at this point in time
Yea you gotta drop him if he's dealing if he gets caught and ur "in the field of justice" it's gunna be bad. But if he is growing for personal use then is sit down and have a conversation with him and go from there. It's all just one big conspiracy
Woah 100 plants? That's fed territory right there. His safety may not have been at risk before but it is now that you put that online
This is definitely not grown simply for personal use If that was the case I wouldn't even have thought much about it Thank you all for your thoughts on this ^^ # was an estimate Maybe not so much but I don't think I'm far off And no, not living in one of those states
As for the part about your safety, I really doubt your safety is at risk in any way. There's a lot of people who grow weed, even if it's a large amount, it's not like you're dating scarface and there's gonna be gunfights and shit. I think a big part in the question is what state you live in. I'm assuming it's not colorado or washington because then you probably wouldn't even be worried, but if it's a medical state he could just be growing to supply to dispensaries. as for you, you could get in trouble legally if he got caught, but it'd also be pretty easy for you to get out of it as long as you're smart. He probably has it in a part of his house that you don't really go in, and it probably doesn't smell too much if you just now noticed. So I feel like it'd be pretty hard for them to prove you had any knowledge or affiliation with it. just don't let him grow any in your house if you don't feel comfortable with that.
Your not married and your kid's aren't his.. I would say the risk is on him and him alone. And yeah, dont tell anyone about it, 'cause if he did get caught then you might get into a little trouble. Not sure though, but with the way the government is, I wouldnt put it past 'em.. Sent from my SPH-M830 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
he obviously trusts you and wants to gain you as A FREAKIN ALLY!!! IF YOU WORK IN LEO!!! your choice....skys the limit! or you can crash everything.
It's people with attitudes like that that will keep this shit illegal it's a fucking plant you have worse shit under the sink that your kids could get into Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
I don't think you even read my post? LOL If you had you would have seen where I clearly stated I don't care if he smokes but that my concern is the plants he's growing, since I'm not talking about 1 or 2 but a large amount, and the legal implications for myself, if any, as his girlfriend
Think of all the major drug kingpins in history. When they got caught their wives and girlfriends don't get touched. You cannot control a man and you are not obligated to testify against him whatsoever so with that said you would not get in trouble for knowing about it. That's the legal side of things for you, as for the safety issue that depends on the kind of people he deals with. But let's be real, this is marijuana and its 2014 no one really dies over marijuana anymore.
do him a favor and tell him that you know about his grow.. if he's smart he'll take the whole thing down. and no, you won't be in any trouble if he gets busted. You don't live there and you will say that you had no clue at all.. so no problem for you.
Try it out. You most likely will not be prosecuted, if he gets raided, IF you have not taken part in distribution. But expect to be interrogated no matter what. It definitely has it's risks, but you won't know what it's like until you try it. What state are you in? Is it legal growing? Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum