I personally hold my ability to be content whilst technically isolating myself (the negative connotations that go along with the word aren't tasteful IMO, hence the application of the word "technically") very highly. Not in a sense that it affects my ego to any extent, but in a sense that it is very important to me to live in such a way that I can appreciate, while still allowing others to be either affected positively from it, or not at all. If they are somehow negatively affected by my introverted behavior for a reason beyond anything I have directly done, than that isn't something I worry about, because that's where it becomes a personal/internal issue on their part. Labels such as "introvert" immediately make most people start to reconsider their identity, whether the labels set before them are true or not. It's much more productive to our human brains, IMO, to allow our identities to be shaped in a manner that is natural and never set-in-stone. Possessing a liquid state of mind can be a positive thing. It's normal in our society today to feel as if not necessarily holding an appreciation for being social on a consistent basis is wrong. Would most people be as social as they are now, if they were led to believe "introverted personalities" were highly looked upon? How different would they approach the concept of being "social"? By observation I'd say that although some people have statistics, studies, and random numbers that show humans run "optimally" when they have a healthy balance between introverted and extroverted tendencies, the real truth is that we are all endlessly fascinating individuals whom hold different capabilities. Who's to say isolation is a bad thing, if we feel happiest in such a setting? Balance is relative in this instance; what may be a healthy balance for you, isn't necessarily a healthy balance for me. Everyone has a different brain, though the structure is similar, the way in which the functions (apart the involuntary) and limitations are conducted can differ. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
After high school I gradually trickled into more and more of an introvert, but not necessarily because I disliked socializing. It's very easy for me to get along with most people in person, and even easier when the setting for meeting those individuals is usually a bar or a party, but I find social gatherings that don't pertain to my immediate circle of good friends, to be literally draining across the board- mentally, physically, sometimes emotionally. Once I started really building a basis and a foundation for my own belief system around the time I started smoking more weed, and started kind of giving greater thought to what I wanted to do with my life, I really began to focus on cultivating more progressive habits. I picked up reading more challenging and stimulating books. I immersed myself in alternative and mainstream media and analyzed things for myself. I refined my skill sets and went back to the basics of programming and graphic design and really pushed myself in terms of self-education when I wasn't working or having some ounce of a social life. I'm at a point where I've been working on something that shows a lot of promise with some close friends, and we're all really pushing to make it into something big. I'm super obsessive about the things that I commit to, especially something I create or took part in creating. For months I have literally spent whatever trivial amount of time I had, whether it was weekends or after work, bleeding energy, money, and time into that project. The implication of that is I feel that I have in a lot of way sunken into complacency. It's a fine line. Commitment to something may be a justifiable reason to be the ghost at a party, but a lack of a social life is still a lack of a social life. I essentially only make time for my "wolf pack", more importantly my best friend who is also involved in the project. Spending time on anyone else feels like a complete and utter chore. Having time of my own and only sacrificing it on people who are worth it, is a lifestyle I'm very comfortable with. It suits me.
I'm introverted and well..i tend to pine for isolation from time to time when hanging with my extrovert friends gets mentally tiring. but thats just me.
You are probably more of an introvert, like me as well. Extroverts gain energy by being with others and socializing, while introverts recharge by being alone. One thing I'm working on is using my time alone wisely, rather than mindlessly browsing the internet. If you stay in, it doesn't have to be boring- you can read, write, work on projects, create something. The time is a gift, use it wisely
Introverts are introverts until they meet people they can truly respect ... at least that's the way I am and I suppose I would consider myself more introverted ... if I had to coin a term for the way I am (Thank Jung). I work like a tortoise with the perception of a hawk - in other words, I am introverted until I percieve somebody I notice might be interesting; then I come out of my shell. I mean damn, I've got a decent set of hobbies: -Drums -Longboarding -Poetry/Lyricism -Drawing -Creative Writing etc... We, introverts, enjoy genuine relationship. Now living in the USA especially this is frowned upon ...not being chipper and fitting that "hero" archetype as a male or "mistress" archetype as a female. I don't see why, in order to be a "normal human", and accepted in the US society and others like it ...one has to be outwardly expedient. Expedience has it's uses but I'd rather take the other path ...towards inner guidance and personal freedom. I don't see what's so bad about being a quiet, seeker of inner truth. In fact the world would be a lot more enjoyable to live in if more people would pursue truth rather than self-interests. Ah well, I'll keep setting up fans in hopes that this dark cloud will blow away; but I feel like I'll have to wait on the wind. Lol. The indefinitetly most difficult part of being a real person who enjoys peace and quiet (for me) is finding work (which I fucking hate in the first place) and acting "suitably". Especially while everyone has a paranoid, "state of emergency" mind set now and it doesn't help if you're quiet and lean towards isolating yourself. I'm ALWAYS getting weird looks from people who are scared or suspicious or both simply because I walk with confidence but am quiet at the same time...I guess something about that combination throws people off as if I'm always evilly scheming something. It's really unnerving and causes me great anxiety; and it's a catch 22 because so does making small talk or "socializing".... though I wouldn't call it that. Yep, well, as you all can see, I get pretty "extraverted" when something peaks my interest....as it should be with anyone. I don't think anyone should be forced to fit any kind of "socially approved" image. Baahhhh..
I feel exactly the same way man. The only time that I feel that I can be completely myself is when I am alone. I have been this way for a while now. Probably in the last four years or so did this become apparent to me. I have grown out of many friendships in the last couple of years. There is really only one friend that I have that I can be completely at ease with and he is practically the same way as me, spending most of his time alone. Its a shame we don't live in the same city any more. It to me, the greatest pleasure to be alone! I love being with people and that but in small dosages. Could be a phase I don't know but I love my lifestyle. I can't remember the last time I went out, it was so long ago. In fact most of the time when I am out the house, I'm either taking a walk, at the library, or running an errand. I'm very bookish, and I'm obsessively interested in stuff the most of the people really could not care less about, or take seriously (occult literature, astral projection etc.)
Man, I'm really glad you made this topic OP. I can relate with you guys so much lol, and I must say it feels good to find like minds/kindred spirits in this respect. I too have always had a more hermitic tilt to me. I LOVE my own company... I have the best days by myself, all the time. While to some people, the thought of spending so much time alone freaks them out, I fucking love it, and live like that most of the time. I do have a group of very close, VERY good friends that I also enjoy spending lots of time with. But if I am not spending time with them.. I do enjoy just spending time in my own world, doing my own thing. Funny, because I just met my grandma for the first time a couple years ago, and it turns out she is exactly the same lol. She is like 74, and lives the happiest life by herself. She loves staying up late everynight watching movies and getting up like noon, having tea and doing her thing, going to the market and socializing every now and then, having her good friend over from time to time... but basically she just LOVES her own company, and is totally content living like that. I never knew that about her, because I never knew much of her before I stayed with her then, but I thought that was pretty interesting, that her and I are so similar in that respect. But yes... it is interesting, the different kinds of people there are out there. And the different inclinations we have. Some people just have to be around people and interacting with at least some on all the time. They love to be out and about, love just bullshitting and making small talk all the time, etc etc. That is what gets them going. And then for some people, being able to immerse themselves completely in research, books, artistic pursuits, creativity, enjoying great movies/art, spiritual practice or something else... and that to them is a great day. Although I love good social interaction here and there, I definitely fall in that latter category, I guess you could call it introversion. "The greatest pleasure is to be alone!" I feel you completely man! I love hiking by myself, reading, watching documentaries, enjoying great anime or movies, enjoying some herb and expanding my mind, doing yoga and meditation, writing poems and raps, recording freestyles, making music, writing. Love my time alone. This tendency towards solitude and isolation can be a double edge sword sometimes though, as most of you have probably experienced. I've definitely had my days where I look out and wish I had a more active social life, a significant other, or so on. Loneliness, feeling like on the "outside looking in", shit like that. We all have our down days. But I've come to realize over time, that this is who I am by nature, always have been, and it is one of the biggest reasons why I have the gifts I do. My inward-going-ness and my independence of thought and nature. I've realized that one of the archetypes I resonate with the most is that of the Hermit... I really do have a lot of those qualities, and I've come to kind of accept and embrace that part of myself. I think the important part is balance... if I go TOO long without having some really great, meaningful, enjoyable social interaction, or at least SOME interaction with the opposite sex, I start feeling out of balance and kind of off. But then once I get a few good fixes of socializing, I'm good to do my own thing for a while again. Sometimes I definitely feel like I want to build up more of a social life, and I'm sort of trying to do that now, but I find that I just don't totally enjoy spending time with just anybody. There are some people I can play and watch soccer games with, some people I can play video games with, some people I can go hiking with, but not a lot of people you can truly and deeply bond with. Just a matter of finding like minds I guess... people with similar interests. I've met some of the greatest friends and made the best social circle I've had recently by doing a 200 hour yoga teacher training... now I'm in a social circle of kindred spirits that I LOVE being around, and whenever I get to hang with them it's real cool. Thought these quotes on the subject were pretty cool. "Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self." <i>--Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart</i> "Solitude is as much an intrinsic desire in man as his gregariousness. Hermits, solitary thinkers, independent spirits, recluses, although often stigmatized in the modern world, are healthy expressions of man's dialogue with himself." <i>--Clark E. Moustakas, Loneliness and Love</i> "There are two distinct components to human nature: the social and the solitary. While most people are strictly social ... there are also quite a few loners, people who motivate themselves, derive their rewards directly from nature and whose only constraints are self-imposed. The solitary part of human nature is definitely the more highly evolved, and humanity has surged forward through the efforts of brilliant loners and eccentrics. Their names live on forever precisely because society was unable to extinguish their brilliance or thwart their initiatives through social inertia. On the other hand, our social instincts are atavistic and result far too reliably in mediocrity and conformism. We evolved to live in small groups of a few families, small enough to accommodate a few brilliant eccentrics, and our recent experiments that have gone beyond that limited scope seem to rely on herd instincts that may not even be specifically human. When facing imminent danger, large groups of humans have a tendency to panic and stampede, and on such occasions people regularly get trampled and crushed underfoot: a pinnacle of evolution indeed!" <i>--Dmitry Orlov, The Five Stages of Collapse, p. 5</i>