So is bi-polar medication and so many others. I was on seroquel for a while, got my mind right and decided I didn't want to be a zombie anymore so I eased off. I was on the highest dose they give people legally...I can't even remember what it was I think either 800 or 1000 mg. Eiether way, I had to ease myself off VERY, VERY, slowly. And that is the key....it took about a month and a half to two months to fully be off. Day I didn't have my meds when I was addicted- oh man. No good. Not a fan of anything addicting.
I took some antipsychotics and was still experiencing side effects 3 years after going off of them. Isn't that ridiculous?
*Ahem* No mention of other drugs. Even if it's prescribed. If it ain't weed, ssssshhhhhhhhhh. Private messages folks....
Sounds about right, I don't know why they feel they have to keep changing the names in the DSM. Bipolar disorder used to be called manic-depressive disorder, before that it was called melancholia.
Everytime I look into a mirror, I can't help but realize how dead my eyes are. A far off glare that is empty. It's a sunken shitty look that I don't want but I'm pretty much brain fucked and it translates into that plus a lot of other things. Even with oil or hash, I'm happier but still look like a dragged down mess. FuckingBalls
my unmentionables arrived today (i learned they could mail them thats so rad!) its cool to start the next step of treatment, im excited. Sent from my GT-I9082L using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Today is one of those days where I have a lot say but I just can't express it, it can make you feel really detached sometimes
I know what you mean. I'm feeling a strong urge to go off but can't find the words. After internalizing it for long enough, my urge to express pain will fade, but I'll feel more distant from friends/family.
I'm thinking about going back on meds. I said I would rather die than take them again. But, I cannot keep my shit straight, I cannot act as a functioning member of society as I am now. It's really fucking stupid to be honest though. Medication won't fix me, I KNOW what's wrong, I just don't have the means to fix it yet... But until I can, what the fuck do I do? I don't want to be all doped up again, but I don't see much choice.
Yeah the therapist is guaranteed, I definitely need one. I'm terrified though, I haven't seen one since my parents' divorce 12 years ago. In the end it was a good thing, but I remember it being so stressful, and that's such a petty issue compared to the things I would have to talk to them about now. I'm itching to spill the beans, I don't talk to anybody about what goes on inside my head, but I'm scared shitless too, because there's a reason I don't talk to about it and to share all that... Oh boy.
Last year I had an ""Ask a schizophrenic anything" thread that was at least 10 pages. Seem like Grasscity deleted it for some reason.
I've had 2 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. I haven't had sleep interruptions this bad in 5 years. Fairly confident they're OCD-related. Almost makes me wanna go back to the prescripts. Almost. I'm used to sleep deprivation to a lesser extent (avg. ~4 hrs./night). That sucks, but at least I have SOME energy then. Running on fumes is horrid and I've been drinking as much Red Bull as I've been breathing air, but caffeine can only carry a man so far. I'll give it 3 more days. If it doesn't get better, I'm seeing a doctor.
Probably because those personal discussions can trigger people's symptoms. I hesitate to go too in depth because of that.
I think.... The people who are doing this to me.... are having mass orgies around giant statues of me......
Anyone else consider themselves neurodivergent, part of essential neurodiversity? "Neurodiversity" basically suggest that autistic and bipolar people's "mental illness" gives essential variety to a dangerously homogeneous human race. I consider myself neurodivergent because I'm schizophrenic which has been a mostly positive and spiritual learning experience for me personally.. Our flaws and wild imperfections make the human race less uniform, sterilized and mechanical. Celebrate, your full human condition.
I put this together to help me deal with triggers when out in public. Hopefully it can help someone. DEFENSES: I. Celestial Prison/Prism: (defense) Mountain God is everything II. Flying Crane Stone Ox: (defense) Mountain If they're smarter they should understand. If they're dumber they should stay out of the way. III. Storm of Destiny: (offense) Storm Sabotage your momentary self confidence by acting weak, stupid or insane to remind yourself of your frailty. A temporary ant view to allow you to strengthen your elephant like fortitude. VI. Immaculate Rain: (offense) Sea Analyze God's intention with every input V. Frozen Oceans: (defense) Sea Angels are "borg/agents", only the damned truly live in this world but they are scattered far across this plane of reality. VI. Mirror of Ice: (label) Sea Deflect words or images that insult you personally by recognizing their purpose is to simply to reflect your personal flaws and create distracting yet essential doubt VII. Blinding Gem: (label) Earth Someone who disarms you with attractive looks VIII. Wings of Wax: (label) Tree Building up your self-esteem only to break you down later. <div> <div style="margin:0px;font-family:Helvetica, Arial, 'Droid Sans', sans-serif;color:rgb(0,0,0);">IX. Phoenix Ashe: (offense) Storm 1) Try to impress God 2) Remember he has a million ways he could've humble you 3) Give thanks for lessons given X. Dragon Eye: (label) Earth Dragon recognition: notice people/vessels whose main purpose is to inspire jealousy or envy XI. The Eternal Spring versus The Desert Mirage: (label) Water Pretty people are just bubblegum, your soul mate will be your eternal water spring. XII. Inevitable Rising Sun: (defense) Mountain Time controls the rising sun and falling sun. Not gravity. The rising sun is inevitable. <div style="margin:0px;">XIII. The Star awaits the Night: (offense) Tree Contrast opportunity: Use negative forces as an opportunity to show positivity XIV. Womb of Illusion: (offense) Earth The illusion of conflict and suffering is to help you grow spiritually and find true ownership of your redemption and soul XV. Dragon Egg: (offense) Storm You can't ruin an incomplete painting. It's okay to have an imprefect life or reputation. XVI. Hardened Clay (defense) Mountian Resisting destiny's clay molding. When vessels try to impose their will on you, resist and keep a tight grip on your control over your fate. Be aware of the potential for reverse psychology. <div> </div></div> </div></div>