Mental Illness Support/awareness Thread

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by Papageorgio, Aug 14, 2014.

  1. #1 Papageorgio, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2014
    Whatever kind of crazy you've been diagnosed with, you're not alone. I hope this can be a safe place for everyone to share their experiences with mental illness and hopefully bring some awareness to the city. 
    Anxiety disorders, mood disorders, psychotic disorders, eating disorders, impulse control and addiction disorders, personality disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders, post traumatic stress disorders. Any and every disorder. All are welcome.
     
    Personally, I'm bipolar I (manic depressive). Long story short: I'm mostly sad, then one time I thought I was god. Now i'm just mostly sad, and medicated. I'd go into greater detail, but right now I just don't feel like it.
     
     
    As my psychiatrist likes to say "So! How have you been?"
     
    SPILL YOUR GUTS, GRASS CITY
     
     
    Please remember, discussion of pharmaceuticals, even prescription ones, is against the rules on Grasscity. Please feel free to discuss your diagnosis and experiences, but leave the talk of medications out of it please.
     
     
    IF

     
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  2. I don't know what I am

    I think mostly ADD which is somehow linked to me being depressed. Suicidal growing up, anti depressants didn't help. Tried stuff for ADD and I felt so awesome and happy until it started having negative effects.

    Now I don't do any more meds, horrible stuff.

    I really wish I had medical weed around here so I can find something for my ADD


    Omega369
     
  3. Well I can't really go into personal stuff yet because I've been too scared to go to therapy for what I think is just mild anxiety but I'm starting to reconsider as I think less I think of my pride and its benefits. I just need an objective view on what I think is manageable but maybe it's not... Maybe it's more.
     
    My first year at a University, I fucked up big time. I'm a pretty smart guy. I know I was easily capable of more first off and as I look back there were tell tale signs that there was something else going on. I hardly ate, I spent a lot of time in my room, wouldn't get out of bed, cloud my mind and feeling with weed every single damn day. Just unhappy and unwilling to come out of the shell. I had to leave, yeah i didnt have the grades to stay, but I had to leave
     
     
    The first year back at home didnt change much...still lounging around. Stuck in my room. Basically took me a full year to get a job and get back in school. I don't know exactly what's wrong but I'm back in the gym, have an 11 unit semester starting next week, currently jobless but looking to change that. I want to go to a therapist soon though
     
    Thanks @[member="Papageorgio"] for giving me a thread to adequately get that out
     
  4. I haven't been diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have Social Anxiety, General Anxiety, a hint of OCD, and fluctuating depression.
     
  5.  
    I'm really glad I could help. It's difficult to bring these topics up in every day conversation, even with friends and family. It's nice to be able to type it all out and get it off your chest. That's what this thread is all about.
     
  6. Have a severe anxiety disorder, manic depression, and have been on more meds then jäger. Had them since I was 15, started treatment about 7 years ago. Up hill battle everyday, so I can relate to you guys. Good to know we're all not alone, too much stigma comes with mental disorders.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Grasscity Forum
     
  7. #7 SassyMelassy, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2014
    I am just... an emotional basketcase... general anxiety/major depression, addictive personality and impulse control problems...but I am still pretty awesome, in my own fucked up way.
    I am not ashamed to discuss it or to call it what it is. I have endured, I am enduring, I will endure.
    I will be back, I am sure, just wanted to sub.

    :love:
     
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  8. #8 Annicus, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2014
    Ptsd
    Epilepsy
    Several head injuries

    Messed up brains prove you have them :p
     
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  9.  
    I was in your exact position, almost to the tee, up to the eleven unit semester. I do not know how yours is graded, but I had four full time-two credit classes and a part time-one credit class. Aced that semester.
     
    Then I was broke again, and was completely unable to raise the last thousand dollars for my next semester. I was already bringing in over twenty grand in scholarships and using five thousand loan dollars, on top of working 30 hours a week. The school would offer no more, and there was no way I could get more money with a job where I was.
     
    It has been awhile since I have been at school. I crave it. I am financially okay, but school is still a distant dream for me. It is a tough world out there with a degree, let alone without one. Be careful, be studious, and put in as much effort wherever you can.
     
    Sorry to get off topic. I probably have a mixture of very slight OCD/ADD, but nothing that is noticeably impairing.
     
  10. Irish Robin Williams.
     
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  11. #11 J.Raptor, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2014
    This wasn't about me but I thought I'd share just how much of a bitch an anxiety disorder can be. My friend just got diagnosed with one and was put on pharmaceuticals to combat it and he seems to be doing better but let me just share how it screwed him up for the past 6 months
     
    My friend is a tall guy, and he was the one that initially got me back in the gym. He was getting pretty buff and clocked out at around 186 lbs. One day at work he just started to feel nauseous and dry heaved for hours on end for a few days before figuring it wasnt food poisoning after all soomething was wrong
     
    Couldn't get out of bed without feeling sick and getting tunnel vision, my friend went to the emergency room for fluids every couple days. He took every test in the world pretty much trying to figure out what the hell was going on. X rays, MRIs, PET/CT scan, stool sample, urine sample, blood samples, and swallowing a radioactive isotope so that his intestines could be mapped. All these made my friend and me from outside looking in...felt like his condition was very serious. Life/death
     
    He told his doctor and after sharing how he felt, he got prescription. It was the smallest dosage possible so my friend said fuck it and took 3...pretty much thinking what's the worst that can happen? The best actually.
     
    My friend immediately felt better, even ate some and quickly told his doctor about what he found. After doing digging, he found severe anxiety ran in his family. Anxiety, all by itself, was causing all his symptoms. My friend is getting it under control now but this guy is no longer the big burly guy. He's weighing at 160 and still has trouble keeping food down
     
    Bottom line is get help if you need it. Main thing is not being scared to ask and I certainly fit the bill on that last one
     
  12. I began getting treatment for anxiety when I was 12. 11 years ago. I am glad I learned some coping skills as early as I did or my life would probably be very different right now. On the other hand I developed an addiction as a result of a treatment method and I'm still trying to claw my way out of it, because to this day there is only one thing that slows my thoughts down to a bearable pace.
     
    I am also dealing with major gender dysphoria. The most basic things make me feel like shit. Being at the gym, getting a haircut, going to a bar- things that are usually seen as self care/fun- all make things worse. I was not cut out for being this different. Courage and self confidence never came naturally to me. Three years since admitting I have some pretty bad gender issues and I'm still as ashamed as ever. Taking steps towards transitioning has done very little for me.
     
    I have never been able to imagine a life where my decisions weren't entirely based off of stress or guilt or shame.
     
  13.  
    ahuh, so like... you wanna be a woman or something? ...... ahuh.... 
     
    As for myself, mild psychosis.... One voice of an ex friend that I stopped all contact with because I started hearing his voice. 
    Disclaimer: No I do not think it is the weed or any else that has contributed to my condition. I really think he is talking to me at times its soo fucked up! 
     
  14. Borderline personality disorder. Although the doctors told me that the new name for BPD is emotionally unstable disorder? IDK.
     
    I also struggle with eating, diagnosed with anorexia as a teenager.
     
  15. i am also diagnosed bi-polar (not that i agree, drug use can cause manic states), BPD, with anxiety.
     
    and HPPD due to repeated high dose psychedelic experiences.
     
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  16. Anxiety + ADD

    My ADD seems to be getting worse the older I get but I don't want to be on prescription drugs again I'm just scared it's the only thing that will help at this point.
    I can't focus on or remember anything.
     
  17. #17 Papageorgio, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2014
     
    I think my lack of auditory and visual hallucinations are the one thing that saved me from a "paranoid schizophrenia" diagnosis. I can't even imagine what that must be like... *edit* I mean, i've induced some pretty wild "trips" in my day, but never did I see or hear anything that wasn't there.
     
  18. Been struggling with social anxiety,depression and bipolar disorder.
     
  19. Bipolar type 2, depression with a tad bit of borderline personality disorder. This last depression being the lowest, as far as wanting to kill myself. I've had explosive depression before that. I've experienced two psychotic breaks as result of my disease, and sleep deprivation. this last one was mental, where as only in my head, the first one was physical, in that it took over and caused me to want to destroy, rape and pillage. I didn't do the middle one thank, whatever. But the other two were a doozy in themselves.  I was on meds from 16 to 18 and then after not so much. Medication, that has been chemically enhanced, always cause the worst side effects in me. 
     
  20. ive had anxiety and insomnia issues forever basically. the anxiety problem im glad to say ive really started to conquer in the last 4 months or so. the main difference is that i started to see myself as the host of a social interaction rather then a participant. a lot better, not really cured.
     
    the insomnia will never go away and ive resigned myself to that. its one of the most crippling features of my life though. it makes virtually every aspect of my life harder. when you can often be up for like 40 hours feeling totally normal and then on hour 41 hit the wall and be mentally exhausted until you get sleepy (which is often many hours later) you cant keep a schedule worth a damn. i had to figure out how to support myself online because its basically the only job i could ever feasibly hold down, although i enjoy it more than regular work anyway. going to long events usually requires getting blackout drunk several days in a row to hopefully schedule some sleep at the right time to be rested for it. truly sleeping with my girlfriend barely ever happens, im almost always awake the entire time she sleeps in a day. ive seen every episode of virtually every TV show i would ever watch, in some cases several dozen times.
     
    and the shittiest part is that no medication ive ever tried has helped. the ONLY way i can sometimes force it is to blackout drink (which for me is usually a liter+ of 40% alcohol) and that only gives me the benefit of having a 8 hour window or so in which ill probably pass out. needless to say the hangovers can easily ruin whatever it is i was trying to be up for. its also horrible for my health, which is why i only do it in emergencies. Ive considered a xyrem prescription before.....but then eventually that leads to sleeping 2-3 hours before you need to redose just to stay asleep, which with the insomnia may be even worse for me then just not sleeping.
     

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