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Actually Realizing Im Depressed, Is Mj An Answer?

Discussion in 'Medical Marijuana Usage and Applications' started by Seanage311, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. #1 Seanage311, Aug 12, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2014
    Hey guys, so recently I have been thinking about a lot of things in my life. I'm not suicidal, but I've been thinking that I literally have the telltale signs of depression; disturbed sleep (can't fall asleep, I wake up immediately after falling asleep) or insomnia in general, constant anxiety, I have extremely obvious ADHD. I took adderall in 2nd semester of my school year to treat it, and stopped for the summer, and I have never noticed my ADHD more. I also feel that I over analyze things, and I feel everyone is against me always, which I know isn't true, but it can't help it but feel that way. Not suicidal, yet I feel life is not worth living. I see the world for what if really is, which I feel arrogant for feeling this, but most people lack the vision for seeing the world as a world where the normal, mundane 9-5 workers hate the different for being different. Nazism, KKK, Westboro Baptist Church. These people exist, and hate speech is categorized as free speech.

    I feel that my mind is different. Bipolarity, ordinary, or I'm just completely crazy, I have no fucking idea. Today I feel depressed, but two days ago I felt like a completely different person. I saw the good in the world, and today I see the bad. Today i feel like a loser, asking random people for help. Two days ago I was a cocky little asshole. A single vibe I pick up can completely change my day. Two years ago I was the loudest person ever, and everybody loved me. A year later, I literally went from extrovert to introvert after school restarted. I

    Ironically, I'm an optimist. I always view the future as full of great things. Tells a lot about myself, that I feel sometimes that everything goes wrong, or everything goes right. There is no in between.

    I can't explain my mind. I literally feel like a billion things race through my mind, all at one time every second of everyday. It's not just plain thought. It's like I feel happy and anxious at the same time. It's an unexplainable oxymoron that I can't explain.

    Now I have smoked once before a couple weeks back, and it felt amazing. The only way I can describe it, is I felt alive. I didn't feel empty anymore. I felt like life was with me, actually enjoying the world with me instead of throwing me to the ground.

    After I looked and took some online tests and scored in a moderate-severe depression in all of the tests, including a "very high" chance of bipolar depression according to Phycology.com's test or something like that, I went and looked at ways I could fix it.

    In the past, I have been the type of guy who would always seem happy on the outside but in reality I had unexplainable demons, and I used to consider suicide, but I never planned it or anything like that, I simply thought about it and how all of my problems would be gone within an hour.

    Following my test thing, I sat in my bed thinking of the ways I could "cure" myself. After some thinking, I realized marijuana is not just a plant that makes you happy, it also has miraculous medical properties, and in my opinion, is the only drug I consider to be safe (I actually believe in weed as a plant rather than a drug, but marijuana is formally recognized as a drug, so you know). I thought about it and realized weed actually treats almost all of my issues.

    I am under 18, and I know that some users on here think this is not the site for me, but honestly I have nowhere else to turn to have answers. Being under 18 means I need parents to legally have medical marijuana. My dad is a former stoner, even though he pretends to be against weed now, and is a successful business owner so he knows weed can't exactly ruin your career. My mom is a pediatrician, and she voted no on rec marijuana but yes on medical MJ. She knows weed will not actually kill you or do harm, but she thinks it's a crutch for people who have large aspirations in life. So she knows weed has a place in the medical world.

    Now my last questions are whether you would seriously recommend medical MJ to me, and if so, how to convince my parents.

    Please don't slam me with the "ADHD ISNT REAL" bullshit. It's real, and living with it isn't like being hyperactive and having fun, it's being misunderstood, because nobody knows the shit we go through daily, over analyzing everything to the last detail and making yourself believe that the world wants you to fail.

    Please do not misunderstand me. Although being high was really fun, I really want to solve my problems and finally be free of being shy, misunderstood, and being limited to what you can really be. I can't fathom talking to my parents about being depressed. I literally would feel embarrassed for my parents to know about me feeling like I'm worthless. Now that I've actually articulated my thoughts, I honestly can't think of anything more outrageous than that. There are times when I feel great about myself, and times I feel like the world is giving me a huge middle finger by making me live with ADHD.
     
  2. Your first mistake is admitting that you are under 18.
     
    I'm sorry that you are struggling, but cannabis is not always the answer. Find somebody to talk to. A therapist, a friend, a family member. You'd be surprised how much it can help.
     
  3. before that ban hammer comes down I will just say that those on-line quizzes almost ALWAYS say you have a chance to have XYZ. don't over think things. sometimes labeling something only makes it worse. everyone goes through times they are "depressed" it's a part of life you just need to find the strength to over come what ever is bugging you.
     
    I get so depressed sometimes I wont eat or leave my house. I need cannabis because otherwise I wont sleep and will slip deep into the bottle. suicide is always on my mind I wish I could die every day it's horrible. I don't need a website to tell me what's going on, because I already know. to be honest cannabis isn't the miracle drug that I need. it helps but it isn't perfect. sometimes it will make things worse for me but its all I have.
     
         I see all these "drugs" doctors and therapists throw at people and iv been there and done that. it made things so much worse. I get better, I get worst but I know if I work hard and dedicate my life to my own wellbeing and happiness that someday it will come.
     
    Don't wallow in self pity and get the fuck out and do something that you enjoy. do not hold you're self up to the standards of the television and the magazines those people are not real. Don't drink to feel better. get exercise, date girls and hang out with people you enjoy.  maybe one day you will be 18 and can come back to these forums :wave:
     
  4. Honestly I can say I just cried because it felt like he just repeated my life to me. I can relate to everything the OP just said. Everything. Even when he mentioned how people used to love him... that's me too. I used to talk so much, and now I have social anxiety. It's kind of sad.
     
  5.  There is so much I want to say to OP, but GC rules won't allow me.
     
    I will say that depression is a powerful force. Most depressives hide it. They smile on the outside and want to die on the inside.
     
    Marijuana improves the quality of my life. I am not nearly depressed when I am stoned, as when I am sober. Pot makes me happy.
     
    When I am sober, my emotions are whack and i can't seem to control them. You can read how it affects me in some of my posts. I have really made a complete ass of myself on these forums and owe a lot of blades an apology for being such an ass.
     
    ok I'm gonna end this rant before i say too much and get myself in trouble. Stay lifted.
     
  6. I struggled with severe depression for about a year and a half and smoked heavily during that time. When I was sober life seemed miserable because of personal issues clouding my mind, and I thought I felt relief in the brief lapses of being very high. Now that years have past since I overcame it I can honestly say, in my experience, that weed did not help the problem. When sober I became more distraught over problems which lead to a worse cycle of depression. I kept myself pretty isolated after a while as well, since weed made me feel content with doing nothing.
    It was when I made a true effort to embrace life that I overcame my depression. It sounds cliche I suppose, but if you put positive vibes out into the universe it will bring them back your way. Sometimes it just takes a little while. Some people may disagree with this, but it's just my personal experience with the subject.
     
  7. I wish you luck in your battle. But I personally wanted to let you know I don't think you're an ass, nor do you owe anyone on this site an apology. You being you is what people appreciate :)
     
  8. Thanks. I'll add you to my friends list :)
     
  9. It's like looking in the mirror, I 100% understand where you are. You think about things and because you think about them so much you start to wonder why? Why do some people you used to hang out with act the way they do? Is it ignorance or do they don't care about some shit that they do? Why do some people always laugh and have fun doing what they do but not stop to think about who they hurt along the way? Once you try to sleep and close your eyes your mind just races and you start thinking of things that bothers you and you think more and more about it and next thing you know it's three hours later and you are still awake. I use cannabis to help me sleep because those thoughts always race through my mind but you have to understand that everybody is different. Not different like red and blue but drastically different to a point where it's hard to understand and sometimes it's best not to. For every right, there are always going to be 100 wrongs but it's okay cause the world still spins. Everything can't be explained and people don't want to hear their mistakes or know how they affect others that aren't in their immediate life. It's okay, the sun still goes up and goes down. You honestly, just have to do you. Find something that makes you happy and do that. I like to play video games because there is nothing better than getting a snapshot in Halo and tea bagging the body for fun. It's all joy, find your joy and go from there. Demons are there to haunt you but also train you on how to be better than them. I hope I helped in some way, if you have an Xbox most definitely hit me up!
     
  10.  
    Congrats OP on taking the first step and identifying that there is an issue in your life that you want to fix, that is the first step :)  I agree with @[member="Lord_Quas"], MJ is not always the answer and you would be surprised that there are a lot of people out there that want to help you get through this tough time. 
     
    You should talk to your parents about getting a neautral party to talk through your problems with like a therapist.  Sometimes your parents work insurance can cover a couple sessions of councilling for free or provide other helpful outlets for you.  Also check out what free social services that you are eligble for within your state.  Sometimes even working for a part-time position provides a lot of  free programs for not just your physical but your mental health too. 
     
    Good luck OP,  I promise that there is light at the end of this tunnel but you have to work on it every day. 
     
  11. Medicating with mmj has been able to help me get off pills that would have killed me eventually anway. 
     
    Yes, mmj is an answer that can be effictively targeted and applied to help break certain cycles of depression from becoming overwhelming. I use a sativa, two CBD rich strains (a sativa and an indica) and make my own sleepy time indica pills for the insomnia. Using a CBD to back up both the sativa and the indica is extremely important, as you need the neuroprotective properties from sending you one way or another (ie getting too depressed or overly anxious) 
     
    I've found incredible success in being able to make great life choices, when I'm actively medicating. It requires a lot of listening and understanding, and being honest of course, but my life is NEVER going back to the way it was. 
     
    I will always be fighting depression, but with mmj I i know I will ALWAYS win. 
     
    Good luck!!!
     
  12. This

    Some advise. Depression/anxiety and "street" marijuana can be tricky. It will either make you feel fantastic or make depression worse for people.

    Medical marijuana where you can pick and choose THC and CBD levels almost always works. Some peoples mind clears after THC, other people (like me) feels peaceful with CBD.

    I know what you mean, I also think ADD/ADHD is linked to depression. I don't believe it's a mental disorder, but I believe it's a gift that makes us more receptive to our senses.




    Omega369
     
  13.  
    Absolutely! And if OP is going to pursue this venture, he'll need that card, which should bring a discussion with the 'rents as well. Trust me, if you think being embarrassed is bad, how do you think they'll feel when you're going through this and they went on living their life as though everything was tits? Don't do that to them. Be honest, it'll be cathartic. Let them know you have a plan (which should also include therapy -otherwise, let's be honest, you may look like you're just trying to get weed, and no one should go through this ish alone) and let them know you want and are ready for help! 
     
    on another note, SAFE ACCESS!
     
  14. Op, didn't read whole thread but sounds like your hormones are a mess, I know because I haven been through it. Look into the GAPS book and get on the diet. ADHD and a hand full of others mental disorders are disorders caused by the modern way of eating. The gaps diet is basically a 1900's diet. Read the book, do the diet, and you will see big improvement. If you don't get the book then you don't care and deserve to be miserable.


    Sent from my iPad using Grasscity Forum
     
  15. I didn't even read your post but the best thing for depression is exercise. As far as cannabis goes, many sativa strains can boost your mood. I like Sour Diesel for helping me get out of a funk. Just don't use too much if you are susceptible to anxiety attacks.


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  16. Make your parents read this
     
  17. First of all OP, you need to sit down and really look at yourself. I understand you might feel okay one day, and then shitty the next. Youre realizing the world isnt all sunshine and rainbows, its part of growing up. But you need to take a step back and seriously consider if you are depressed.

    I dont say this because im doubting you or anything, but youre the one who knows yourself best and youre the one experiencing these emotions. Are you happy? Like truly, happy? Not basing your happiness on others, or other things but truly happy? If youre not thats okay. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. Now, are you sad? Do you have a lot of anger towards the world? How do you feel? How long have you been feeling this?

    Depression hits people differently but people describe it as a sort of numbness. Its like a big heavy weight. You might feel good one day but in the long run you will always go back down to your baseline, which is not feeling good. If you loook at your life and youve been feeling this way for a long time then you may very well have depression.

    In answer to your original question, marijuana can help with depression, but it probably isnt going to help you. At least not now. Medical marijuana doesnt cure depression. It only makes it easier to deal with. It softens the edges so to speak. I understand marijuana makes you feel good, but if thats the only thing helping you then its not the right thing for you right now.

    My advice to you is this: try and really analyze yourself. Analyze your life, be honest with your feelings. Based on what you know about depression, do you think you have it? If the answer is yes, then try and find someone who knows about psychology so they can confirm or deny your analysis. Once you get a handle on what it is youre dealing with, and you make changes to improve your life in other ways, then maybe marijuana might be able to help you then. Remember, marijuana is technicaly a drug, like alchohol, and drugs can really affect your life. Make sure your life is on an upward trend before you start taking any drugs, even if they are there to help you.
     
  18. Hope youre doing better now man
     
  19. Depression is a serious illness and there are effective treatments available. You're not alone if you feel ashamed about talking about your depression with friends or family members, and feel more comfortable expressing yourself to the anonymity of the internet. However, the first step is to overcome this fear and talk to your parents about how you're feeling and that you'd like help. If you cannot confide with your parents, perhaps you have a grandparent, aunt/uncle, or teacher/counselor that is better suited. Next, (and hopefully with parental support) seek out a mental health professional. You can do this either through your family's general practice physician (who can refer you), or by visiting a health care clinic (admittedly, this advice is from an American prospective, and may be different if you're located outside the US). These individuals have experience diagnosing and recommending treatment for people with depression. Most people respond to standard depression treatment, but some do not. There is no "one size fits all" approach, even among the best recognized treatments, and some trial and error may be involved.
     
    From what I know, no US state allows for medical marijuana explicitly for depression, especially for youths under 18 years. Even if states did, you'd want to at least first discuss medical marijuana with a trusted health care provider, as it may not be right for you. Remember, of course drugs make you feel good - otherwise people wouldn't do them. People abuse alcohol and drugs to avoid emotional pain all the time, but this is not a long-term solution, and can carry significant, unintended risks. The bottom line is don't try to self-diagnose or self-medicate, and seek out profession help. Good Luck.
     

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