First Post...synthetic Urine

So I've been scouring the internet and this forum for the past couple of weeks now for any clue as to how my urine test might go beforehand, and afterwords for any clue as to whether or not I passed.  I finally decided instead of continuing to drive my fiance and our roommate nuts with all the what-ifs, I would just start a new topic here about my specific situation.  So sorry my first post here is probably annoying and repetitive but here goes...
 
The background: I've been hating my job for quite awhile now and applying to as many jobs as I can, but they're few and far between in my area and my current job actually pays semi-decently, so I'm pretty picky, and since I've been doing this over the course of months and very rarely even make it to an interview, and most of the jobs I apply to aren't even the kind that drug test, I never bothered to stop smoking.  I figured if it ever came to that I would use synthetic, which my fiance used successfully a couple years ago to get a job driving a box truck.  But when hypothetical situation became a reality, my worrywort nature kicked in and I began freaking the fuck out about the mechanics of smuggling in a bottle of liquid and actually making it sound like I was peeing in there.  It just seemed too good to be true, like there can't possibly be laws against having a female nurse pat me down, so why don't they just do that?  Or what if they leave the door open?  And don't they have lab tests by now that can tell if it didn't actually come from a human body?  But the information I found was overwhelmingly positive, so I proceeded using a bottle of the same brand that my fiance used, Dr. Green's Agent X.
 
I interviewed and was hired on the spot for a job at the airport.  The drug test letter said that the tests ordered were a "non-DOT drug test and OSHA audiogram."  I went to take the test at an urgent care center called Concentra and successfully made it into the bathroom with a bottle of the stuff tied to my inner thigh under a pair of leggings and a long skirt.  Unfortunately I made two mistakes: I heated it too high in the microwave hoping it would go down to body temperature by the time I got there, but when I got into the bathroom it was still at 100 degrees.  I thought I might be fucked but I didn't know what else to do (dip the bottle in the toilet water quickly? I thought it might go down too quickly if I did that).  So then I did another stupid thing - I tried to pour it out of the hole in the cap thinking it would simulate the sound of peeing, but the bottle just made a sucking noise that I really hope none of the nurses could hear through the door.  But if they did they didn't say anything, and I guess someone thinking they heard a noise through a door isn't concrete proof of anything.  But having it the wrong temperature would be...
 
But as far as I could tell they never took the temperature of the sample before they split it into two test tubes and put it in the fridge.  My fiance said they immediately put in a thermometer when he did it, but they did not do that for me, nor did they put anything that looked like it could be a testing strip on the sample cup.  They just had me sign a form and took me to get my hearing tested.  Sooo is this good news?  The copy of the form they had me sign said they sent it to a place called Clinical Reference Laboratory, which I had never heard of in any of these posts...most people said it went to labcorp.  At the bottom of the form, under the part that I signed, was the part for the lab itself to fill in with boxes for "negative," "positive," "test cancelled," "dilute," and refusal to test because "adulterated" or "substituted."  Now the specificity of them having a box called "substituted," combined with the fact that they never even bothered to take the temperature of the sample, makes me feel like maybe this specific lab has more advanced tests that can detect whether it's synthetic or not.  I've read that they're out there, but again in most of the stories I've read online people are freaking out over nothing until they find out they pass.  I hope that's what happens to me because I hate my job so much and this new one would come with some amazing benefits.
 
So it's been a little over a week now and I haven't heard anything, which is hopefully a good sign.  But I also had to get fingerprinted for a background check and the results for that take about three weeks to come in.  So if there had been a problem with the drug test would they tell me when they got the results, or wait until the background checks came back and let me know I didn't pass and don't get a start date.  I really want to put in my two weeks notice now so I can start as soon as they give me a date if I got it, but I really can't end up with no job right now.  And my position is a little too important to be a dick and quit on the spot, I would be screwing over too many people I like.
 
Sorry for all the rambling guys, any advice to calm my nerves would be appreciated so much!  

 

Ugh I know right!  And the stress of waiting, while going to my shitty job every day just wishing I could tell everybody that I quit already, is just making me want to smoke more...  But if I do end up failing I'll just buckle down and quit smoking until I do find a new job. 

 

Thanks! And yeah, you could be an alcoholic and never get tested for it, or be a crack smoker and only have to quit for a few days to get it out of your system.  Smdh!

 

Ajroxit, I know the results are probably in already, I just won't find out that I officially have the job until the results of my background check are in, which should be another two weeks (it's for a job where you have to be able to get past airport security). But if I had failed or if I need to retake it, they probably would have already called me this week, right...?


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Invinciblejets, I see you're on your iPhone...I wrote that all on my laptop this morning and I'm on my iPhone now, hot damn that does look like a lot of text lol. Oh well sorry about that and thanks to anyone who actually read it!


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