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Lack Of Apathy, Deteriorating Friendship?

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by lilkat, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. #1 lilkat, Jul 28, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2014
    I'll start this post out by saying I've been recovering from an eating disorder since March, and have lost most of my social life throughout the process of recovery from the lack of time to see my friends and acquaintances, though I wasn't close to a lot of people before my ED in the first place. Prior to my ED, I was on campus, and although stressed, at least had a drive to do something (that would benefit me in the long run)! 
     
    I was pulled out of school and forced into a recovery program that took away my freedom to exercise (even basic things such as walking and biking) and then isolated me. I have one close friend, who introduced me to smoking over a year ago, who I keep pretty normal tabs on, but considering we see each other so often, it's been weird smoking with her recently. We used to be able to think of fun things to do so frequently, even without being high, but now all we do is get high, and really there's nothing to talk about anymore. We're comfortable, yes, but it feels like we completely lost the old friendship we used to have and now our time is spent smoking. We used to talk our heads off, find creative things to do, and so on, but now we just watch videos and sit around. It's almost like our personalities were ripped away and we're just kind of existing, now.
     
    Even when I smoke alone, now, the highs feel different. I'm almost immediately tired, have no idea what to do, and end up falling asleep, and then wake up later to feel as if I've wasted my day and self loathe for a while. 
     
    I used to love weed, AND the great times I spent with my best friend, but I can't ignore this anymore. I know this is partially depression, but do you think the part about me no longer enjoying weed anymore has to do with my best friend?
     
    She used to have so much more personality... I don't know what to even talk about anymore. I don't even think we share interests anymore. She has schizophrenia, so I feel like this is a heavy form of self medicating rather than actually using weed recreationally. 
     
    Oh, also, my mind has been warped in the sense that (almost) everything seems meaningless after smoking, so this might be another big part of it.
     
    So, basically, I'm going to be told to smoke less and meet people. but either way, how would you respond to this situation?

     
  2. #2 Talon, Jul 28, 2014
    Find things you are passionate about. You have to find a reason to love life in order to be happy.

    Find things to do with your friend as well. With or without weed, you can be happy. Don't overdo anything and learn how to balance your life. I'm dealing with the same struggle in a way.
     

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