That instance, when you connect life and death in one go. You found freedom, absolute freedom, even for an instance. Freedom can only be absolute though, anything like that that is not absolute, is just not. The trick is, realizing you don't have any freedom at any instance. Then inverting that thought to see the truth. Freedom is at hand, we are just caught too much in our ways to see. Freedom is complete objectivity. There is no part of freedom that is subjective.
There was period in my life when I questioned Christianity and the existence of god. Once I did some research and was convinced that he is real, I prayed for the first time in years. I felt an amazing sensation of love as if God was connecting to me while I was praying to him