Success With Synthetic Urine For Drug Test

Hey I know people have done this before but I haven't seen one that's totally recent so I wanted to add a success story using synthetic urine for a drug test. What I used was the Monkey Whizz kit from Serious Monkey Bizzness but from what I've seen this, Magnum synthetic urine and Quick Fix are all of the same quality. My drug test was at Quest Diagnostics. You don't have to read all of my experience I just thought it might help offer some insight but there's a run-down of the experience at the bottom.
 
So I had to take a pre-employment urine analysis for this job I really wanted. When I first started trying to get the job, I stopped smoking because I knew there would be a pre-employment drug test and I was hoping I could get my system clean. But after awhile of not being able to get an interview I kinda gave up and started smoking again. So pretty soon after that I ended up getting a call from the hiring manager for an interview so I immediately stopped smoking AGAIN and had the interview (which went great). I figured I had about a week or so before they'd get back to me and then after that I'd have 24 hours to get my drug test. So after this I started my research for passing drug tests. First, I decided just to try and let it run through my system. I have been smoking on and off for about 5 years. Usually I'll smoke every day for a few weeks and then take a break for a couple of weeks to a month or so before picking it back up. But I'm a pretty fit guy with a high metabolism so I thought it wouldn't be too hard. I picked up some Metamucil (read the plant fibers in it would help reroute or flush the toxins or something), some cranberry pills (read it would flush your urinary tract) and a home drug test and was good to go. I was drinking a lot of water (probably about a gallon a day) along with metamucil and some cranberry pills a few times a day along with working out every day and did this up until the day before my drug test, which was a Wednesday. That morning I used my at home drug test to see how clean I got. And I FAILED it. So then I went into panic mode, I wasn't about to lose this job just because of a stupid drug test. So I opted for the substitution method. I didn't really have anyone with clean pee I could use and that kinda sketched me out anyway because I couldn't know what was actually in their system and I didn't know how to keep the pee the right temperature to pass the test so that evening I went to my local head shop to get some synthetic urine. I walked in and asked for some synthetic urine to which the girl behind the counter said "Well we do have some fetish pee" which DID NOT sound like what I was looking for. But she showed me the instructions for it and even though I hadn't done any research on Monkey Whizz (just Quick Fix and Magnum) I decided to go ahead and get it, hoping that the girl behind the counter didn't think I was into getting peed on or anything. So I'm not going to go into all the details of the instructions but this product had like a white elastic belt with a little plastic bladder filled with already liquid fake pee with a tube coming out of it and two clips that stop the piss from coming out. The bladder would rest right above your dick and had a little temp strip and a heating bad to make sure you got the temperature right.
 
Okay so the day of the test about an hour before I was going to leave I but the little belt on and attached the heating pad and then covered it with my boxers making sure nothing could be seen in case I had to pull up my shirt before the test or anything (which it's not noticeable, even just being covered by boxers, in case you go to a place that makes you strip down). I was also surprised by how comfortable it was, as long as you made sure the clips on the tube of the fake bladder didn't poke you in the dick or anything haha. I also drank a shitton of water and gatorade and metamucil along with some B12 pills in case I pussied out and decided to use my own piss. So 45 minutes later I checked the little temp strip and it was perfectly at 98 degrees. I had to print out some paper I had forgotten about and headed to the testing facility (which was about 30 minutes away). By the time I got to the testing facility the pressure was on. I checked the bag in my car and it was at 102. This stressed me out so I was sitting my car with my pants unbuttoned trying to shake the bag around and hold my crotch against the air conditioner to cool it off. When I thought it was cool enough I headed in. Before I went into the actual test site I went into the bathroom to check the bag one last time. The temp was at about 97, I thought this was good enough and headed in.
 
I get in, get all the paperwork filled out, and head to the back. The guy doing the test seemed like he really didn't give a shit about anything but I was still pretty stressed and focused on playing it cool. He asked me to empty my pockets and go to the bathroom on his left to rinse my hands. After that he made me pick a cup to pee in, told me to go to the bathroom on his right to take the test. He told me the whole schpeel about not flushing or turning on the sink, said I had 5 minutes, and I was alone. I quickly went to the toilet and undid my pants and checked the temp of the piss. It was at just about 98. I quietly undid the clips (I recommend practicing at home, don't want it to make a sound or even worse, getting a clogged tube or something like that where you can get the pee out) and I emptied the bladder into the cup and squeezed the rest into the toilet. I looked at the temp on the cup and it read 94. I was worried about the temp getting too low so I quickly re-clipped the bladder (still making sure it's silent), buttoned up my pants, and walked out and handed the guy the piss. He poured it into some little tubes, had me sign and initial some stuff (my hand was so shaky), I saw he checked "Yes" for the question asking if the sample was between 90 and 100 degrees, which eased my nerves, and I was on my way.
 
So now all I had to do was stress. And stress. And stress and stress and stress. I kept researching synthetic urine and reread all of the articles I read like 5 times which sort of helped calm me down. I mean it was SUPPOSED to work. It HAD to. So after a few days of constant worry and one sleepless night (had the test on Thursday and they didn't get back to me until the following Tuesday) they contacted me and told me I got the job! I was so relieved. I had totally prepared for them to call me saying something about how the sample I gave was not comparable with human urine or something like that and I was prepared to play dumb and to even fake cry if I had to (no one wants to hear a guy cry) to get another test, which I was pretty sure I could pass with my own piss, but there was no need to THANK GOD.
 
So I just want this to calm anyone's nerves about using synthetic urine, in May of 2014, IT STILL WORKS. I would definitely recommend using the Monkey Whizz Kit, too. It's comfortable, easy to hide and use, and works. The hardest part is keeping the temperature right, which isn't even that hard. Just avoid checking it every five minutes since that's supposed to cool it off and just make sure it's at least in the high 90s. So stop stressing, I know you are. I did like 20 hours worth of research before/after taking this test and using synthetic urine still seems like a better way to pass a drug test than dilution or substitution with a friend's urine.
 
Here's the rundown of my experience:
Lab: Quest Diagnostics
Method: Substitution
Brand: Serious Monkey Bizzness Whizz Kit
Test taken: Pre-employment Urine Analysis (unobserved)
Taken on: Thursday
Answer on: The following Tuesday (5 days)
Pass/Fail: PASS!!!
 
Good luck out there.

 

@[member="JuicyJaydon"] Haha I guess I was dumb enough to try it and I was dumb enough to get a really great job using it. I don't know where you live but I have heard of some states "testing" for synthetic urine, though not much evidence to prove it, but most states do not.

 

@[member="jtoke90"] I'm in Texas. I'm actually not totally sure if it does have uric acid or not. I hear that uric acid has a shorter shelf life and has to be mixed in right before your test, which mine didn't it came already in liquid form so probably not. Congrats to you too! Glad to hear someone else had success using synthetic urine!