So lemme get this straight, you flat out state you manipulate people and you post this deliberate attention grabbing time suck of a thread - then say "ask me how my mind works" and "don't tell me I need help." You don't need help. You need a swift kick in the pants. You're blatantly saying "Look at me, talk to me. Let me manipulate you." Fuck off. You're not suicidal. You're an attention whore.
If the medication doesn't do anything for you then why do you take it. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
All these people talking about offing themselves.. I bet if they lived a single day in my shoes they'd actually go through with it Ive got fucked up teeth, i cant get laid, and my social problems are killin me, but i keep moving forward, and keep trying. It pisses me off when I watch TV and see some like super good looking people bitching about it with their perfect teeth and shit. Makes me go like: "FUCK YOOOOOOUU!!!"
Shift you focus and learn to be a manipulator in a positive way. Convince suicidal people that life is worth living. Do it til you "win" and the person no longer plans to kill themselves. Cultivate gratitude for the simple things in life. I currently have pneumonia and in the midst of illness, I have to focus on wellness. Today, I am greatful for air. Be grateful. It turns what you already have into enough. I have severe mental issues too. Benzos lead to a long, slow and boring existence - not to mention addiction. I was hooked on it for over a decade. Getting off of it did me a lot of good and I'll never take benzos again. Make some simple changes in your life and you will have some major cognitive shifts.
I'm gonna have to agree with OP here. As I see it, life is basically chasing a carrot on a string with a treadmill. I think the key to happiness is essentially deluding yourself into believing reality is more fulfilling than it appears, and sticking with that perspective until it's drilled in - like brainwashing lol. I don't think logic and reasoning is enough if you've gone beyond a certain point, if you know what I mean.
I was the product of an abusive relationship. My father was basically a drug-infused serial rapist. My mother was a fundamentalist catholic, and had an extreme distrust of all men after my father left us when I was 3 years old. Fearing that I would become my father, she brainwashed me at an early age to treat all women with respect, simply because they're women. Sure, that sounds good, but no. She had repeatedly drilled things into my head, notions like "You should open doors for all women, never call a woman a cunt, and always treat them well." It didnt help that she lacked a desire to introduce a positive male role model in the household. All i had was my grandpa, of whom was only around occasionally, and my half-brother, who was a piece of shit jealous asshole. My mother never dated or married ever again after my father. She basically wanted to subconsciously ensure I'd fail at relationships. All this crap she did to me made it nearly impossible to talk to women. Sure, i can be a horny pervert online, but that's because of the false sense of security. IRL, i freeze up, and act too nice, to the point women think I'm gay, or something. Or just flat out think I'm bullshitting. I was continually prevented from developing critical thinking skills in my adolescence, my mother would never allow me to experience harm, and because i was never allowed to 'touch the hot stove', my ability to learn from my mistakes was hampered severely.. I was afraid to make mistakes. This had socially crippled me, not just with women, but with everyone. Because of this, i was bullied and tormented in school, until I hit puberty, and grew so large that few people would dare try it. Ive never had a serious relationship in my life. All the girls I had flings with tended to dump me for men with stronger social skills, men that werent afraid to slap an ass as a woman walked by. Sure, alot of them were assholes, but they had the balls to do it, and that's why they get it. Girl after girl after girl, people ignoring me, my self esteem hit an all time low, and i would stop showering and brushing my teeth for weeks at a time. As a result now, my health is poor, but fortunately im brushing every day and showering every day, again. My social problems made employment difficult. I just didnt want to do anything, i didnt care. Now I'm 28, my mouth is all fucked up, and i cannot get laid no matter how hard I try. But i press on, because there are amazing people still out there. So you wanna off yourself? Try living a day in the shoes of someone with true depression. pfft.
Is there nothing in this life you particularly like or enjoy? Are you following your passion? And I mean giving it your all Follow your heart. Life seems to have ups and downs.
Could be because we lived in such a desensitized country. Desensitized to the point where many of us feel little to no emotion. I feel like you would be singing a different tune if you experienced something real. I'm sure at the time of your aneurysm you were feeling real emotions considering you got it fixed. But now that those real emotions are just a memory you want to feel something again, so you regret getting it fixed. Find something that brings out your real emotions. Do something you've always wanted to do. Go somewhere you've always wanted to go. Killing yourself and leaving your kids in the wake is a terrible choice. You dug a hole to wallow in and you think by pushing yourself deeper it will reverse your situation. Only you can change the way you live your life. You do want to be alive because if you didn't you wouldn't be posting in here and you wouldn't be seeing a psychiatrist. You seem to sound extremely selfish. You don't want any of your family around you. You want to take your own life with your kids in the wake. You only do things to satisfy yourself. Maybe you need to do things for other people. Go out and try making people happy instead of finding ways to use people to make you happy.
ey everyone, stop bitching. especially OP. If you have money and cars and shit, you got it better than most people whether you like it or not. noone is perfect and noone is in heaven on this earth right now. If you don't want those things feel free to pay it forward to me and you can go walk barefoot in bum fuck egypt for all I care. That's a win win for us both, but violence and suicide is never the answer for anything. Sincerely, dude with no money and no car
Suicide is never the answer unless you're like about to be jammed feet-first in a compost mulcher, and have a gun
What a fucking stupid pity party of a thread. Life is not a game and if you can't see that you're helpless. If you can't fight for what you think is right or love, then you're just sad to me.
Ignorance is bliss. If your response is anything close to "stop bitching" then you lack the experience of true depression and don't deserve much say in the matter.
Depression is different for everyone, I know some can't just stop. But you have to keep fighting, it's the only real option. I respect that people have the right to do what they want with themselves, the reason is all that matters to me. The real madness begins when you want to die, but you also want to live.
But bitching implies that you care. If you didn't, you would simply go out and off yourself. If I really wanted to remove myself from this place, the last thing I would ever give a shit about doing was coming on here and typing out a synopsis of my character and how I'm feeling to strangers. If all of his conversations are faked and fraudulent, what would be the point? Why would I or anyone else want to take you at your word when you can openly convey that? It's not about not empathizing- I actually am all about just getting high and kind of exploring the darker corners of my mind. It's very easy to empathize with people going through shit like this as a result. What I don't empathize with, is this whole need to leave a note in a desperate attempt to mark that you've been here, or whatever fucking underlying scheme you have in a last desperate attempt to "matter" before you die. If you want to live, talk to any of us, we would love to get you off that ledge. But if you truly want to be on the ledge, don't fucking yell down to the rest of us and put on a show. I've seen so many helpful and sympathetic responses in here- way more than I thought I would. But at every corner OP is there essentially like "nope, won't work, need to die." If you're so set on doing it, why even present your case? What did you think you were going to gain from posting to a group of strangers you had zero intention of even acknowledging their opinions? I don't think WildWill's far off. This doesn't sound like a man circling the drain- it sounds like a standard masochist. Just some guy caught up in a vortex of negativity and overindulgence in what he perceives to be an absurd world. But the world becomes increasingly less absurd, the more you are able to do for yourself. Sure, we are just essentially chasing the carrot on the string- but so what? For me and for many others, the fact that we're aware the string even exists, brings about an incentive to live that's mostly spurred by curiosity. Whether that curiosity amounts to anything, is entirely subjective. Sometimes you get people who are so in love with life, that they dedicate their lives to essentially living as a nomad. And other times you get people like this.
QQ Suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us. Life can be summed up in just 3 little words, it goes on...