everything tbh. Thats how depression works imo, pretty irrational but I have it for life, so whatever lol live life.
I have an interview on Monday that is going to shape the next few years of my life and all I've been able to do is doubt myself.
One of my main client's mother just passed a few weeks ago and now out of the blue she just left me with thousands of dollars worth of stuff on layaway with NO down payment yet, and well, based on the history I know, I am honestly more worried than she may not be alive herself, either....I can always sell the items, It may well take longer, or may well sell for less, but shit man, I hate to see someone so wrecked.......Reminds me that mine is fixing to peace out on me too.. Also, I am worried an "Old Friend" of mine may have jacked a few of my meds...I really hope I just put them somewhere and he didn't.....But I am worried for a real reason but shiiit, I hope not...
Damn stress fracture in a vertebrate of my lower back. Can't play ball for maybe 6 weeks, such a disappointing blow. Could use this time to read more. But I'd rather play ball than read. Hoping to see where I am after a month.
Pointlessness of life. Human life seems kind of dull when you consider the capabilities of the imagination. I always seem to get the vibe from people that life is some type of gift. In my perspective it seems almost like we were all once greater beings but were damned to lesser, watered-down existence. Take this reality with the large possilibility of no afterlife to really explore the potential of the mind - and things seem damn bleak to me. This is my face like 95% of the time. It feels kind of like a part of me is still in shock of the horror, so-to-speak. My life isn't even that bad...
What's got me down? My dick lol, but being broke and prolonging the duration of sobriety to prevent the risk of failing a drugtest.
I am horrible at getting to know people through short-form communication methods. It's discouraging and I feel like a dick when discussion dies off so quickly.
Goddamn roommate troubles. Never before have I lived with such a whining non contributor. It's pathetic.