Advice On Situation With Ex And New Girl

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Thejourney318, Apr 22, 2014.

  1. #1 Thejourney318, Apr 22, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2014
    I'm just in this situation which I am having a very hard time deciding what to do. Well, I had a plan originally, but it has become difficult. Basically, I was with my ex girlfriend for years. We had an apartment together. Due to quick, dramatic circumstances, everything ended. We have been apart for a few months. I didn't end up doing anything with any other girls. Simply because I didn't have a compulsion for it, and nothing naturally happened. As it turns out, she had gotten another boyfriend in the meantime, but then she had broken up with him because she wanted to be with me.
     
    Now, a few things, some of which are hard to say but they are relevant. She is a pretty big girl. Now, I had never been attracted to big girls. But we hung out, and it just seemed wrong and made me feel bad to think I would just not give someone a chance cuz of that. So I did give her a chance, and things went on and over time I really came to love her and care for her deeply. We have been very close. I do think she is cute, with her face and everything, but the body type is in all honesty an issue in terms of how sexually attracted I can be towards her.
     
    Here's the thing. A new girl started to work where I work. I was very quickly attracted to her and felt some interest. She seemed interested in me as well. At first I thought it may just be because she was new and I had been working there, but it's only gotten more apparent and there's many things pointing towards it. The more time we have spent together, the more truly interested I have felt. Now, the last day we worked together I had decided that the next time we worked together I was going to ask for her number and to do something. The next day, however, my ex gets ahold of me and wants to see me. Now we get together, and she is you know all in love with me and things get very serious in that way very quickly.
     
    So, I truly do care about her very deeply, and actually I have been feeling that way more than ever since we have been hanging out recently. Things have been going really good, without the problems we used to have so much. My original plan was to see her, go along with things a bit, but then at least ask this other girl out and see if she was truly interested. But after hanging out with my ex,  and having things go to that level, I feel bad thinking about it. Plus a big thing we've been talking about is being honest. But, she got with someone else while we were apart, even actually getting a boyfriend, and I didn't. Now right when someone I'm actually interested in someone, and going to make a move, that is when she decides she wants to do this. I just feel like I will feel regret if I never even pursued anything else, after the years and how things went, and now there is this girl that I am interested in that I think is interested in me. But I don't want to just throw away everything with my ex, who I know I care about, for someone who literally nothing may even happen with.

     
  2. Go with the new girl.
     
  3. I think you need to let your ex go for a bit.
    She got the experience of dating someone else for a bit so I you should too.
     
    I think even if you decide not to pursue the new girl you should still space yourself from your ex.
    So both of you can move on or decide that you really want to be together.
     
  4. I'm going to see this girl tomorrow, and damnit I was just really excited about making a move and seeing how all that went. But I can't bring myself to just ending things with my ex. My original plan was to just go along with things with my ex and also see how things pan out with this new girl. That's the ideal, but I just feel sleezy about it. It just doesn't seem fair that she had all that freedom to do all that, and I guess I did too but there was nothing. And now there is, and I don't even have an opportunity to give it a chance? But I know she loves me, and I love her too really, and idk I just can't end it.
     
    I feel like the best thing really would be for me to go out with this girl and see how it goes. I think it will give me conviction one way or another, that I should or should not be with my ex. But she obviously wouldn't understand that. Which leaves doing it behind her back, and seeing how it goes, which was my original plan. But that again makes me feel bad. Also, if I did want to do that I completely fucked myself royal. I couldn't help but feel fear and jealousy about how she had been while we were apart, and that it may not all be 100% over. So I said that I felt that we shouldn't be secretive about our phones, and shouldn't hide things. Which is part of this larger 'trust' theme we've been on, which is honestly how I now feel it should be with a relationship, unlike before. However, I'm an absolute idiot for bringing that up at this point, right before considering pursuing this plan. So, I ask her out, she says yes, we go out and it goes good, then I end things with my ex? It just would suck if I did that and nothing happened...I love the way my ex loves me...
     
  5. End things with your ex before you pursue anyone else. Otherwise you're going to get yourself into a lot of trouble you don't want to be in


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  6. You keep saying "my ex" but she's not. She's still your girlfriend. You're still with her, and you haven't informed her that you don't want to be in a relationship.

    You have to end it with her before you start anything with the new girl.
     

Share This Page