OK First i'm going to say NO i'm not a 'slut' .. I have not been with anyone for over 2 years, & haven't wanted to be .. I started going back to school in december 2013. I have to take my 10 since I dropped out in highschool before I can get into welding. I had to go through an 'intake' class which is 5 weeks so they can determine where I should be placed and which classes to be placed in. Anyways, to the point.. Lol. There's a guy that was in my intake with me & we didn't really talk at all for the first few weeks except if I had to work with him on an assignment because he sat beside me. He's not really the type of person I could ever see myself being friends with or hanging out with for that matter.. We started talking one day & I found out he smoked weed so we went and blazed up a few times @ lunch hour. Anyway we started hanging out outside of school like he would come over or i'd go there and get high & chill out watch a movie or something.. It never got physical unless I was in a terrible mood i'd ask for a hug and a few times he drove all the way to my house to hug me lol. and then just leave We both have kids, he has a 4 year old boy that he has full custody of and I have a 2 1/2 year old boy that I have full custody of. I started having strong feelings toward him & i made him aware of that right when I realized it lol. He told me he feels comfortable around me and likes seeing me and is attracted to me but doesnt want a relationship blah blah blah but neither do I. I really have an insanely strong sexual attraction to him but we're both super shy so we're both hesitant to make the 'first move' so to speak lol.. We talk over text though like he's made it pretty clear that he's down to sleep with me. and that excites me .. lol. He came over lastnight and we had a few drinks & watched a movie but then he left and i was extremely disappointed because I thought lastnight may be the night lol he is not like most guys he doesn't come on super strong and doesn't really make his feelings fully known but he'll beat around the bush and say things like if you wanted me to stay should have locked your arms (when i hugged him) or grabbed his arm and told him to stay lol. but for me i've never really had to be the one that hmm how do i say.. INITIATED? anything. He is supposed to come over tonight and i'm pretty sure he knows why I want him to come over lol but I am just starting to feel insecure about the situation like is it a good idea, we've already become pretty close friends and can be comfortable with eachother but it bothers me that he's never ever made a 'move'. i know he's attracted to me which makes it even more confusing? I honestly fantasize that he takes me to his house every lunch hour (like we have been, but just to get high) and we fuck & go back to school.. lol. There's nobody else I want to do this with and nobody else that I feel sexually attracted to than him, weird thing is he is not my type AT ALL. we're complete opposites.. I have not posted on here in a while but everytime I had a problem i'd always post here and get the answers I want lol. I guess there's no question reallly but I want to know what people's opinions are have you ever been in the same boat or are you IN the same boat?? Lol .. I don't think i have left anything out but if you have any questions then just ask ... Sorry if this is totally weird but i'm so confused. Also, I'm pretty content on the no dating thing like i'd love to just chill and get high and watch movies, and obviously 'FUCK' lol.. and pretty sure he feels the same ...
first of all from one lady to another - don't look at you having a fwb situation as being a "slut". slut is a stupid fucking word that generally only gets applied to women because we're not really allowed to enjoy sex the way the boys do. if you are honest and safe and everything is between consenting adults - who gives a fuck? have fun! so my take on this is - if you are REALLY ok just being hook up buddies (you mentioned feelings so that could add issues) but if you really are ok with it being purely physical, do whatever your little heart desires. if it doesn't hurt yourself or anyone else then it's fine. (sorry i just can't stand the word slut and slut shaming)
The feelings are mostly sexual lol .. like I like him as a person and who he is & how he is . but I really would just love to ravish his body and I know the feelings.. I only said that because what I posted may come off as a little 'slutty' like i've only known him for a few months.. and people on this site are unpredictable. thank you for the input though i completely agree
--- Hey, in all seriousness this thing going on is totally normal in a lot of social relationships (at least in now-a-days) and like the lass above me said, I don't think it's slutty unless you're having some kind of three-sum with his brother (lol... strictly for example). I'm pretty sure he's always coming over because he's equally as interested, but is just very dense when it comes to hints. Maybe... answer the door in lingerie or something? It seems like you're gonna have to do the inviting in this situation.
Lol so basically i'm going to have to initiate the entire thing. I kinda suck at that i'm such an awkward person i'd probably scare him .. Lol just kidding but in all seriousness I am just not used to it. i've never had a FWB ( or wanted one ) .. but he's just different. Lol
I feel you. This sounds kind of crazy, but maybe you should just tell him what you told us. Lol I mean shit, I'd be down if someone explained to me that they wanna be FWBs. Most guys would, I guess. Edit: Maybe not tell him the whole thing. But I think you get my drift. Just ask him if he wants to be strictly FWBs. Edit 2: Yo shit, pop in that movie... what's it called... with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. "Friends With Benefits" I think. I mean, don't watch the second half because they fall in love.
I did lol .. I told him the thing about 'we have something else to go to your house for besides just getting HIGH" lol and he said "am i fulfilling your fantasies?" and i said would that be a bad thing and he said im not sure have never tried it. and i asked him if he's open to trying new things and he said yes lol. literally just quoted our last few text messages. I am just feeling insecure I guess . why? i dont know.
Are you really insecure, or are you scared of something? Like, maybe it's not insecurity or fear at all. Anxiousness? Cause going FWB for the first time is a spontaneous thing, so I *think I might be able to understand. I mean, he's totally DTF.
Lol maybe I am a little anxious. I am nervous about it, which is why I am downing a few beer before he comes over LOL .. I know that once we finally do it it will probably feel normal but I just am new to this. and havent been with anyonne in a while so that probably adds to it .. I also don't want to catch feelings but I already have it in my head that i dont want a boyfriend or anything of the sort.. so im not completely sure what it is.
also kind of worried because I go to school with the guy and have both classes with him lol. So i really wouldnt want it to get weird then have to deal with it everyday
LMAO I basically did lastnight but i am not kidding you when i tell you this guy is so stubborn i know he wants me to make the first move which fucking sucks lol
This is a completely legit scenario op. I dont see why anyone would see you as slutty. Sent from my SCH-L710 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Im not really worried about people seeing me as a slut lol im just curious if anyone has been in same boat, or if anyone has advice for me.
Honestly, if he's that stubborn you just gotta go for it. If a girl I was into just grabbed the ol' family jewels out of nowhere, I wouldn't complain and wouldn't have the brainpower to think you were weird for it. Dress slightly provocative (Not full out lingerie necessarily, maybe under your clothes? ) and go for it, girl! I don't think it would make you slutty, I know if I was you I'd just do it because I'd be just as horny as a girl XD Shit, sometimes we have needs that must be satisfied lol. Think of it as an itch in that one spot on your back you can't reach without moving from your comfy spot and getting all uncomfortable, and he's coming up and itching it for you. Repeatedly.
I've been in somewhat of a similar situation. We knew each other but didn't see each other during the day or anything, I was only free on the weekends, and I needed my itch fuckin' ITCHED! Lol. We're actually still FWBs, and I occasionally meet up with him.
You made me wet lol but seriously i'm gonna go for it ... Just dont know how. lol Im obviously not just going to grab his junk hahahaha
is it bad if there's feelings involved ? lol . I mean, i LOVE spending time with him as friends. he always makes me laugh. I'd love to spend alot of time with him lol ... is that what fwb do ? or do fwb just see eachother when they need to satisfy some needs..
Nope, it didn't make it weird. It was a little bit awk the first time obviously, but he happened to be a fellow stoner, so we blazed up and ddduuudddeee... I will tell you, that was the trippiest shit I've ever done XD I talk to him every day and we have mutual friends, it's just that he doesn't live in the same general area as I- only about 20 minutes away but he doesn't frequent my area and I don't his. Close, but no cigar right? But really, he's not going to bring up ALL THAT SEX WE HAD LAST NIGHT GURL in public- and if he does/would, kill him now. But in a FWB relationship, the rules should be stated beforehand (Maybe give it a shot first to see if you actually like it lol, don't start bangin' 3 times a day now, girl!)- Never bring it up in public, any pics are released and it's full out war bitches, and no kissing and telling (or something along those lines...) Edit: A true FWB would be someone who's your friend (which you two are) that you have sex with (which you quite possibly shall). But let him know you have feelings so that he won't feel in any way that you're just someone he can use for a booty call every once in a while UNLESS THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. It wouldn't make you a slut if you did either, it would just mean that you need a little something something every once in a while.