Hello, I know I am beating a dead horse. I know that due to our common interest, majority of you are likely to side with me on the issue, but I need some useful insight from a neutral point of view. I am a 26 year old disabled veteran. I smoked prior to military as a teen, did not smoke during my contract(UCMJ), met my wife at the beggining of my tour when I just drank a few beers a day(which she complained about and I cut down). We have been married for 4 years, which were filled with frequent arguments(about everything)her threats to leave me and me giving up ground just so I can be at peace. Towards the end of my tour I was diagnosed with PTSD, arthritis, hiatal hernia, degenerative disk disease, and a herniated of L5/S1, which required surgery to fix. The surgery did get rid of the nerve impingement, but did NOT get rid of the pain, which is constant. They prescribed me handful of pills, anti-depressants and narcotics and would keep doing so up until the day I died. Neither of us agreed with having to take chemicals which have terrible long term effects, I refused all painkillers due to my little sister battling that addiction. I discovered that pot made my pain level decrease drastically, put me in a better mood, got rid of my nightmares and made me less nauseous. She was opposed at first, but eventually let me do my thing, and I smoked(daily) about half o a week, which really added up at the end of the month(i agree with her on that). She was not happy with it and we constantly argued about it. Financial issues directly related to my disability impacted my ability to afford such amounts. Fortunately, I have a cool neighbor and me and him co-op, which works out for both of us. She was glad when I smoked less cause of money, but is pissed because i found a way around it, claims that I am a different person. She agreed to letting me smoke a few times a week, but I really do feel like it helps alleviate my symptoms and that I'd rather not feel crappy for her to feel ok. She gets upset over the fruquency, but how does one take medicine a few times a week in any other case? Few days ago she got pissed, told me if you smoke right now I will not go on vacation with you(tommorow) and left to her sister's place. I got pissed, told her to get her stuff while she is at it and just stay over there and not bug me with her constant arguments...So, that's the situation...suggestions?
Sounds like she had something stuck up her assSent from my HTC first using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Show her the potential side effects of the pain killers, then the potential benefits of the weed. Would she rather you be fucked up on the pills or be a bit high from the weed. You have reduced the cost through the co-op and she really has no legitimate bitch.
[quote name="Bastardman" post="19305327" timestamp="1389232229"]She refuses to go. I've been seeing a shrink for the past 4 years, but she is above it.[/quoteOh that's not a good sign my friend. Marriage is abt compromise. Sounds like you need to tell her that's the only way your marriage is gonna make it.
Which do you love more? If its her give up the weed if its the weed tell her to deal with it or leave. Its as simple as that, she needs to learn to live with it. You can't fight a constant battle over it thats for sure.
The only way I got my wife to chill was to get my medical card, prior to that I quit for her and became a raging alcoholic. Move to a weed friendly state and grow your own. Even the vets get a med card here as they qualify now as well. Click on this link and share some information with her, most just don't know how good it really works in our bodies. Veterans For Medical Marijuana
[quote name="ToastyRoadie" post="19305398" timestamp="1389232683"]The only way I got my wife to chill was to get my medical card, prior to that I quit for her and became a raging alcoholic. Move to a weed friendly state and grow your own.Even the vets get a med card here as they qualify now as well.Click on this link and share some information with her, most just don't know how good it really works in our bodies.Veterans For Medical Marijuana[/quote]Great advice!!!
Id reccomend getting a script filled for your pain pills, take a few, and nod out in front of her. Your words will probably slur, you'll be nodding, and you might even puke a few times. Then tell her to compare and contrast which version of you she likes more. The nodding pain pill you, or the happy go lucky you.
Good info, everyone. Thank you for helping. But I mean, do I have a case here? Because to her im just using excuses...
[quote name="Bastardman" post="19305695" timestamp="1389235522"]Good info, everyone. Thank you for helping. But I mean, do I have a case here? Because to her im just using excuses...Of course you do! Look what you told us: "I am a 26 year old disabled veteran. Towards the end of my tour I was diagnosed with PTSD, arthritis, hiatal hernia, degenerative disk disease, and a herniated of L5/S1, which required surgery to fix. The surgery did get rid of the nerve impingement, but did NOT get rid of the pain, which is constant."
I don't know, I'm just sick of arguing my point, because it seems we just run over the same old ground over and over and over....I dont want to take pills, my sister's husband has just OD'd and died from them...
Hey Blade .. im 14yrs marital myself ... one thing they will never understand is regardless how long you 've been together .. your life will still be your own .. medical issues & pain shouldnt be a controversial issue in regards to lettin you smoke ... if she loves you she should be supportive on how you deal with your issues if shes not then thats her problem ... i say if she leaves you over that then let her azz go .. she'll be back ... the problem with wives is they think they can control your every move, mood, & everything else .. in which i love provin to mine all day that she don't control shit .. ive been doin the good, the bad & the ugly before i met her, during her and i'll still be doin shit after her ... $he know she can't change me ... $hit life is 2 $hort to let somebody come in to control you especially if they dont know what kind of stress we go through .. like Bitch Please ... its like i get why some men have side women, mistresses and girlfriends becuz havin a wife can blow at timez & itz alwayz the side pieces havin more compassion & understanding way better than the wife does ... ijs ... shit their usually the ones with support not trying to control & regulate .. like wtf?
You are definitely right about the pain, the controversy, and the control....as far as the mistresses go, I cannot relate, I've been faitfful this whole time, despite multiple opportunities, and deployments, where i could have done whatever the hell MiniMe feels like...i chose the righetous path hoping it would improve our odds at making it, but falling short clearly. I can't remeber who said it, but they compared love to a unpicked flower, if you leave it alone, you can enjoy it's beaty for much longer than if you were to pick it to watch it wither and die. I wish she understood...
You said you were a veteran, so I think you should just tell her "Did you go to war? No? Then shut up" Plus you have back problems, wich I have too, and without weed I'm just hurting and trying fucked up positions to feel "comfort"
If her way to try and win arguments is to threaten to leave you she is immature and does not love you
Geese, she really has you wrapped around her little finger doesn't she? If the relationship issues are truly what you say they are, cut and dry, then she is a controlling weirdo. 'DAT HERB THO....
The little sister addicted to painkillers part made me feel some type of way. My sissy is only 12 and is my baby ^_^. Good luck. If it helps you and you can afford it I say kudos. You aren't doing anything wrong. If anything you're avoiding a horrible addiction to opiates.
I just would like to add a question: Have you ever thought about growing for personal consumption? I think it would change her argument about the money being a large problem.