Greetings fappers, and fapstronauts alike. Currently I am on day 30 of hardmode( no sex, no touching, no images, or fantasizing) This is my highest streak so far. But I am refraining from applauding myself too much. One of the reasons for this is that since day one of this streak i have entered whats called a "flatline". A flatline represents a long standing addiction and is an obvious indicator that the healing process is under way. I simply have not had a single erection for these 30 days. No blood flow. My penis resides shriveled to about 60% of its normal unerect size. I am experiencing a major detox of emotions that appear to have been suppressed by a compulsive daily fap or two, every day. And just to clarify for a few of you: "Fapping" refers to PMO, which stands for "porn, masturbation,orgasm". Its the over-stimulation from high speed digital images and novelty that cause the dopamine down regulation and consequential symptoms. It isnt simply the act of masturbating per say. Getting back to my report: My apathy has shattered like an icicle. I have a whirlwind of emotions everyday now, which includes the most unhappy ive ever been. The angriest ive ever been, the most ashamed, and hopeless ive ever been. I am also the most desperate ive ever been. Desperate for change in my life. My long standing complacency with living in "survival mode" has been beaten like a rug. Ive had enough of living in isolation, enough of escapism activities, enough of working a job for years that kills my soul every day. Ive had enough of other peoples shit, and enough of my own shit. Im beginning to see over the fog as i ascend to realize a view of my self and my problems that was not possible from down below. NoFap has let the genie out of the bottle, and theres no going back. My denial is broken down with the hood up on the side of the road. Its sink or swim time. Its "order an exit bag supply kit online", or "find something in life to to be happy, and passionate about", time. Theres a long way to go for me. Dealing with these emotions is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. And im not even doing anything. Just laying on the floor being hit with thoughts of the past and future is unadulterated misery. But i have not been tested "sexual urge" wise. So half of the battle hasnt even begun yet. Perhaps you reading this can not entirely relate, and it may appear that i have serious issues that need help. And i do, and i am. For some amongst the masses, there is a whole lot more to NoFap than just resisting self sexual pleasure to get laid. I will post another report at day 60. For those that are enduring conflict of the mind for the sake of achieving something greater i would like to share the one quote that i use daily: "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Im either on day 2 or 1 but I honestly think I may have masturbated today and forgotten so Ill just call this day 1
[quote name="JamaicanBacon" post="19281321" timestamp="1388878083"]DAY 1:God i hate myself for even starting this lol,i cant stop thinking about sex. Every girl i see on t.v. i think would i smash or not. I almost relapsed by looking at porn but i have to stay strong. I found out adrianna limas married complete boner kill...THANK GOD. [/quote]LOL this thread is already /win.Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Getting really bad tonight. It hasn't even been a full day. Refuse to break though. Hard to stop when its like in your daily routine.
Sitting here at 7am day 7 with a fully erect penis thinking of reasons I shouldn't nut. Sent from my LG-LS720 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
[quote name="Synyster Jesus" post="19297883" timestamp="1389131335"]Honestly, this shit is fucking hard. Edit: Tomorrow. Probably.[/quote]That's what she said.
On like day 5, my record is 3 weeks a couple months ago. I've been half - assing this thing since last summer, it's hard when you live in an area with few chicks that aren't taken or away at college, being a 20 year old virgin, and haven't talked to a girl since high school. I've made upmy mind though II'm gonna talk to a chick and leave this unnecessary thing in the past.
End of day 7 almost got pussy tonight so I'm sitting here horny as fuck thinking bout the girlSent from my LG-LS720 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
If i stop masturbating i get this intense urge to fuck, and i dont like it, because it makes me fuck women i'd otherwise balk at the sight of.
Well there it goes broken at day 6! I honestly regret it , im also a bit disappointed in myself. Im starting over again though haha
Does anyone have an idea on how I get past day 7? It seems as though many of us no fapopians seem to not be able to make it through day 7.
Idk man day 7 was just like any other day for me I'm on day 12, well now day 13 since its 12:40am Sent from my LG-LS720 using Grasscity Forum mobile app