Good question. Doing anything that causes you to experience the present intentionally can only be good. Coming into the moment through focussed concentration must be useful. I hear Tibetan Monks love it. It's not always easy to meditate, and it can take much practice to become proficient. Cannabis helps, but I've always found being able to do it straight helps the most. Nobody's saying people don't have an ability to concentrate. My point is, and I'm not sure why you're being so defensive about it, is that the inability to concentrate could simply be (and remember the original post is based on a question not a statement) a sign of letting go of what is not interesting in order to find what is. How we see it, and especially how we treat it, makes a difference. Not everyone has the same thing, which is why we shouldn't treat people as if they do.
That's interesting. Seems like it all went inside then. Have you tried meditation by the way? How are you when reading a book for example?
I often find myself moving from one thing to the next. I can be writing something with full present attention, then an email or a message arrives, which I might choose to look at there and then. As if what I was doing no longer exists, I focus on that because it interests me, until I'm done with it, then I go back to focussing on where I was before. Others might not do that at all. They will finish what they've started before moving onto to something else. The arrival of the email or message is not a distraction or an opportunity to deal with the latest thing, just another thing, the next thing perhaps, which they'll get to when they're ready. For me, leaving what I'm doing to consider something new has more excitement in it, and that's why I often follow it. Not always, as it depends on what I was writing. Some things need to come out without distraction, and I may quit my email client or turn off my phone entirely. But even that is a sign of feeling excited about where I am right now, in the present, and nothing else can match it, so nothing else is allowed in.
It's interesting to me because I have 2 kids on the autism spectrum. Asperger's Syndrome which appears to be the opposite of what you describe. Intense focus to the point they spend hours never being able to transition to something new.. This too is being in the moment and I do not prefer to discourage them from having these 'issues'. I think it's a strength as much as anything. It does pose problems for them in school however. I could write a book about it here, but my way of 'parenting' my kids is to love this part of them and see the awesomeness in it. I think it works for whatever 'disorder'.Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
Thank you for sharing that. That does appear to be very much them experiencing the present too. Your solution is exactly what they need. Love them as they are not as anyone else thinks they should be.
[quote name="esseff" post="19231439" timestamp="1388058141"]I often find myself moving from one thing to the next. I can be writing something with full present attention, then an email or a message arrives, which I might choose to look at there and then. As if what I was doing no longer exists, I focus on that because it interests me, until I'm done with it, then I go back to focussing on where I was before. Others might not do that at all. They will finish what they've started before moving onto to something else. The arrival of the email or message is not a distraction or an opportunity to deal with the latest thing, just another thing, the next thing perhaps, which they'll get to when they're ready.For me, leaving what I'm doing to consider something new has more excitement in it, and that's why I often follow it. Not always, as it depends on what I was writing. Some things need to come out without distraction, and I may quit my email client or turn off my phone entirely. But even that is a sign of feeling excited about where I am right now, in the present, and nothing else can match it, so nothing else is allowed in.[/quote]Are sure it's the excitement to try something that's causing you to leave the activity?? Sounds more ADHD. ADD often it's the inability often to focus on the present incoming stimuli because of an intense focus absorption on one particular thought activity.
somebody has a hard time concentrating....... we give them a label that says so.... now we have told them that this is what they are......made this a part of their self image.... made it who they are..... some people can blow this off and not care ...not let it bother them...... yet since most are young children when given this label .......it is like telling them this is what is expected of them.... i cant help but feel the label intensifys the issue in some cases.... the whole thing started because teachers and parents didnt know how to handle these kids..... and instead of working with them...... they were trying to change the children into who they wanted them to be.... trying to chemically conform them... as if we were ever all supposed to be the same..... try and remember that we are dealing with the same society that once lobotomized house wives with ice picks over the eye balls and thru the orbital socket.... scraping back and forth to seperate the temporal lobes from the frontal cortex (may be off a bit on the jargon) some how the people involved in the system have always been trying to "make" everyone the same..... trying to "fix" anything about you which is in anyway individual..... idk who it is that thinks it is a good idea for us all to think and act the same? but trying do so has come along way.... they went from burning witches to try and scare everyone in to conforming..... to making money off feeding everyone pills in the age of chemical conformity.... fuck if nobody does anything about "bigpharm" comparing prescriptions will be first date conversation material.....if it isnt already....
\t Freeman's ice-pick lobotomy became wildly popular. The main reason is that people were desperate for treatments for serious mental illness. This was a time before antipsychotic medication, and mental asylums were overcrowded, Dr. Elliot Valenstein, author of Great and Desperate Cures, which recounts the history of lobotomies, told NPR. “There were some very unpleasant results, very tragic results and some excellent results and a lot in between,†he said. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/03/21/the-surprising-history-of-the-lobotomy/#.UrxWR_RDuSo</blockquote> even before they had medications to try and mold us to what they want...... they were trying to rearrange us till we are "sane" force anyone not fitting into one of their slots.... to fit
Maybe, perhaps. This label or that. But as DD so eloquently said, why bother with the labels? Just helps to make sure you know what you got, and what pills need to be taken. Just makes sure everyone can decide how to see me so that I eventually come to believe them. Fuck that. But what if you are - I don't know . . . just as you are? You are you, like that, this way. That if it doesn't work for you it's not about changing so it does, it's about accepting, understanding, and allowing me to be me my way. I remember in my junior school aware of so much by 7, yet academically resistant to what they said I should learn, when, and how I ought to learn it. I didn't care about the things they cared about. Must be a problem with me. This is how things are don't you know . . . not conforming? How can we change that?
Function being the operative word. Isn't that because there is only one of them and everyone else is society? You have no choice but to learn to manage it, to find a compromise, and if that works OK, why not? Yet who knows what wonders of creativity, what heights of inspiration, they might've produced had they not needed to.
[quote name="esseff" post="19233358" timestamp="1388092096"]Function being the operative word. Isn't that because there is only one of them and everyone else is society? You have no choice but to learn to manage it, to find a compromise, and if that works OK, why not? Yet who knows what wonders of creativity, what heights of inspiration, they might've produced had they not needed to.[/quote]It's a balance. They don't have to give up their creativity but they have to know when to stop with one self absorbed activity so they can hold down a job, pay their mortgage, be a good parent etc... Hard to for someone in their early twenties suffering from ADD to full understand.
Yep, life is a bit easier when there is balance in it. My observations about what i perceive to be the idea contained in the label that is ADD are only that - observations with a bit of me thrown in. So for everyone who will never know what being truly nurtured without labelling from a young age could bring, to those who find a way to bring themselves into the world in a way that works, to those currently drugged up and attempting to please those who are only doing what they think is best, our uniqueness is what ensures there will never be a definition that will be adequate in this matter. I can still remember the little boy who was so aware yet didn't want to fill his head with things they said should go in there. Who was an innocent kid looking for acceptance in a world where there were rules about doing so. It was only when I began to rebel against a system I didn't fit into, and was moved to the class of difficult or troublemaking kids, that I finally felt enough of the freedom their now lack of expectation provided, to enjoy myself there. Not learning anything specific about the ideology they so wanted to force in, but seeing there were other individual kids around me who showed me they were uniquely different too.
Diagnosing (labeling) has its merits too, but yeah I resisted having him labeled.. In the end tho it helped us.. We endured plenty of harassment from Drs & teachers.. Once the connection was Asperger's they backed off. As parents we were accused of being the cause of his 'issues'. That is incredibly painful to go through.. Plus it's confusing and hard on the Aspis themselves.. However with Asperger's the authorities don't push 'treatment' like with ADHD. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
I was taken to a doctor when I was younger, not a medical one I think they are called physiatrists and he told my mum I had add and wanted me to go on a set of new pills that had just come out, my mum said fuck that n left, I would say I notice I get distracted far to easy but cannabis helps my mind focus on one thing without me drifting off. Don't think not taking the pills has had a massive impact in my life, I might of done a bit better at school but would of still ended up in the same position.
i dont think the parents are the cause of these kids problems....... i do think the mass of parents who just did what the doctor said and fed their kids pills instead of just working with them.... are the reason it got to be so over done... or at least a majior part of why add meds are the most abused and over prescribed.... the parents dont create the problem.... yet how they choose to handle it has everything to do with how it works out.... now we do have to remember..... that many of these parents have been made such a mess themselves trying to keep up with how the world tells them they should be...... they dont always realize the doctors are full of shit.... they were raised being told they can trust these people.... so now the parent who is having troble with themselves (which they dont usually show the kids till they are old enough to see it for themselves.....) the whole thing is a mess..... if the parents could get themselves together long enough to do some more parenting...... some(not all) of the kids with these diagnosis would be much better off just for that..... idk... i am just vey much against pharm meds..... they made a mess of my life over a different diagnosis..... i havent taken them for years now.... and the world is still trying to tell me how wrong i am for not taking their pills.... my issues being neurological rather than psych some who know me feel i am committing passive suicide by not taking the pills.... yet if i do take them...it doesnt help ...it makes things worse..... so fuck'em.....
I agree DD.. My perspective is that I try like hell to be my kids advocate... and I do not mean I try to help them get what *I* think is best, but I feel strongly in standing behind what they feel is best. Many people ... From authorities to even childless people who have opinions on how to raise children do not appreciate my way. and in all honesty I have my moments of failure when I find myself trying to control them to fit social rules.. However if I've given them anything it's the strength to stand up for what they think is right for them.. Including standing up to me. It's amazing how so many of the 'behavioral' concepts we believe to be so important in society are really empty.Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
So true. Conventions that cause people to become offended when what they expect to take place doesn't. As if not only are they important enough in their own minds that they should never be offended, but allowing things to cause them offence when if they only thought about it they'd realise there's nothing there. I like pissing in public. Well, when I say public I mean in the countryside or the woods near me when I'm in them. But I sometimes wonder how they'd react if I decided to do it in the high street? Aside from revealing an actual penis in public, which 50% of the world has, and most of the others know what one looks like, the rain washes everything away, just as it does when people let their dog piss (and sometimes shit) wherever. Yet nobody blinks an eye when the dog does it, but I bet a few eyes blink if i did. Why? Is it really any different? Don't I have more right to relieve myself when I need to than a dog? Now, I'm not advocating we all piss where we like because if it's hot it would stink real soon. But if I'm desperate and need to go, and I attempt to hide my modesty as best I can using a corner or whatever, should someone see that, offence will be taken, and subsequent reporting will probably take place, which the po-lice will always deal with.
lol. Ok now I don't know if you're pulling my leg or not. Pissing in public might be a stretch but then again... Public exposure.. My son was a 'stripper' for a while.. Sensitivity issues. Neighbors called him 'naked little nature boy'. He stopped doing that around 5. He's 16 now.. hates most fabrics .. Clothing sheets blankets etc.. he has one particular blanket he wraps himself in.. He wears this 'toga' as soon as he's home from school. Fully nude underneath.. Anyone comes over they are subjected to see him dressed like this.. Same goes for food sensitivities.. Tastes & textures.. He hardly will eat anything.. I remember a teacher extremely upset with him & then me for his refusal to participate in a classroom party where they were eating cupcakes. I refused to push him to try one. The teacher felt it was my duty to teach him it was good manners to at least try to participate but these things mean nothing to Aspies. How important can some of these things be? About ADD.. I'm not sure but I suppose with ADHD classroom might be disrupted? Both my kids had/have autistic meltdowns.. I do not consider those behavioral.. I think they are 'healthy' so to speak.. A communication of sort.. Release.. We worked it out in my kids elementary that in the event of a meltdown they go to a teacher of their choice who will be there to talk to.. Help them through it.. Not stifle it. I was lucky probably.. but I had to state my wishes for my kids firmly.. And was willing to make the effort to unenroll them from school if they were not willing to work with us.. I don't have a clue how it works in their futures.. I feel right now is more important.Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
Sometimes you just know when kids have the right parents. My hands were nowhere near you legs when I said that - promise. It is something I think about. I've done some pretty unusual things in public. Pushing the boundaries of what is or isn't acceptable. Walking while talking loudly to myself, about whatever came into my mind to be said, as I might do when alone. In my world I am alone when I walk. Sometimes i record these things into a dictaphone, but have also done so while holding just my hand near my mouth as if i was. Deliberately walking through the crowds - in and out. Even one time in a crowded train carriage with my iPod on, I had a little sing to myself. I'm never looking to make others uncomfortable, but I know that sometimes they probably are. Like I said - boundaries. Are they bothered but keep it hidden? Do they feel they'd like to say something? I remember one very emotional time as I took a train to visit my daughter, how the tears rolled down my cheeks (the train was quite empty) until a female ticket inspector asked if I was alright. I smiled and said I was and she left me alone. I appreciated her question was one of care, but I was just expressing emotion, without being melodramatic, and for something that happens infrequently here in the UK, felt it was accepted.