Ok this is a long ass story. About a year and a half ago, my life-long high school friend co-signed on a brand new Hyundai for me. Everything went fine until I was laid off from my new job totally unexpectedly. I was making really good money (near $40K) for a single guy I was living large. Nice luxury apt, nice brand new car... then all that crashed. I lost the job due to my company losing large profits (global shipping) etc... many people were laid off besides me as well. So I rebounded and got a job at a PF CHANGS... within a month... but it was a struggle to pay my $900 rent and the $350 car note plus all my other expenses. If I didn't work in a restaurant I wouldn't have eaten every day. So eventually came to a point where I couldn't make the ends meet with CHANGS...so I looked for more work with a temporary agency. I continued working, struggling... finally the temp agency found me a better job with a steady income. I jumped at the chance. I got there and DOMINATED that job. I learned all their proprietory systems and became fast at data-entry. They LOVED having me there saying "oh the last person before you was horrible, you are better than them in one WEEK, and they were here for MONTHS" I was golden. Then their sales tapered off and within a month and a half they told me there was not enough revenue to justify keeping a temp so they let me go. WOW. I was so defeated. So ONE MONTH, I couldn't pay my car note. My friend flipped the fuck out. Started calling me all the time, and it was always some shit, so I stopped answering. This mother fucker threatens to report the car stolen. Calls my brother to relay this message to me. So I call this asshole, and tell him I'm trying to find more work, I'm just having the worst run of luck of my life. He seems understanding... for like 2 days. I'm sure that his wife is giving him hell during this time for having one OUNCE of mercy on me. Then more calls and talks about him taking the car and using it and paying the note while I get my life back on track and then I can take the car back. I agree this is the right thing to do. So he comes and picks the car up and basically tells me then there once he has the keys that he's going to get the car refinanced and take me off the title and he needs me to sign papers to give him permission.So now, I'm never getting the car back. My only form of transport and my only hope of finding a well paying job outside of walking distance (mind you I lived in a HUGE city in the outer suburbs and there is barely any public transport in the city much less the burbs) so in essence he was screwing the shit out of me. I was so fucking hurt and embarrassed, I decided to be done with this relationship and I signed the papers for him. Now, all my friends from high school have forsaken me. People I was there for, I supported, I gave myself to. Friends that when they got divorced and were depressed, I hung out with all night and played dumb computer games with so they wouldnt hurt themselves or whatever (they had a history of that) people that called me their "brother-in-Christ" we'd go play disc golf and get wings and play fucking ninja gaiden on the xbox. as ADULTS... these guys were my friends for life in my eyes. then they abandon me. dont talk to me. take me off stupid ass facebook (dont even know why that bothers me) when I try to visit...they say they're too busy blah blah.... i admit I'm not perfect... I couldnt support myself as a man should and I accept the consequences of that... but I don't think I deserve to be forsaken. NOW... take this into consideration. this same friend who co-signed for me.... long before that... I worked at a HUGE global shipping company. a different one than I got laid off from. my friend asked me if i could get his wife a job there. I said YES OF COURSE MY BROTHER, ANYTHING FOR YOU OR HER! I gave her a rave review to my office manager. I told him, she's smart, honest, dependable and a hard worker. Told him we'd be lucky to have her. Told him all this GREAT SHIT. So they hire her on my recommendation (i'd been there 4 years and was the employee of the month all the time in my department) and she works two weeks... and QUITS... walks out... DOESNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING.... JUST LEAVES... calls ME... on the way home and says, "I'm sorry, but I had to quit." I was worried more than anything. Asked her whats wrong? She said it's too stressful. in her dept... her job was the answer emails and send fax confirmations. WOW. TOO STRESSFUL?>?!??!/1/1 after she did that... my company started treating me like SHIT. my office manager and I were kinda buddies. he'd always say hello and have a conversation... always compliment my suits and ties... after that... he was ICE COLD... avoided me. then they gave me a hard time about things they never did for 4 years. started not giving me my requests for a day off. started giving me a hard time if i showed up ONE minute late. I got an offer from a headhunter from the smaller shipping company (I eventually got laid off from) for more money, less hours and more freedom so I jumped at it, not knowing they would lay me off me afew months time. I never would have left my first company if they were still treating me well.... And I never even made them feel bad about it... never brought it up. never told all our friends they were pieces of shit for FUCKING me. but them? they fucked me up for falling on hard times. so... am I an asshole or what?
I did. This all started after he starting leasing a car. Instead of paying for it in full, or buying a cheaper one that he could afford to.
OP I can say the most generic fucking thing about "OH BROTHA JUST STAY STRONG" but that shit doesn't work. You're going to have to downgrade eventually, seeing as apparently your new working conditions can't pay for the luxury apartment. Find a nice cheaper apartment in your area for around $500-600 rent, with running water/electricity; all that. Start living off cheaper whole foods, check up Costco for 2 loaves of artisan bread for under $5, only drink water at $1.10 a gallon. Forfeit most of your expensive diversions since apparently you were "living large". You can make it.
My bad man. I just read that the working conditions faltered after he co-signed, so it wasn't necessarily his fault. I thought you were blaming op for something out of his control.
IMO from what you wrote.... You bit off more than you could chew with the car. I did that once and had to pay serious consequences and got seriously taken advantage of but I learned to save my money and buy a car with cash after that. Never had that problem again. Credit: you had a friend cosign you, so if you couldn't pay, YOU WERE FUCKING HIM. You should have showed up at his house and explained to his face what was going on and offered him the keys IMO, until you were back on your feet. Not answering his calls was assholy, ESP when he went out of his way to help you get a car with his future and credit on the line. Your friends- users. They take but don't give. You'll be better off without them in the long run. The wife tht got the job and burned you...... Been there before, got a friend a job, two weeks later they quit after their first paycheck and burned me so hard. Never stuck my head out for people after that anymore. I always tell people's life is peaks and valleys. When you were making 40k on a peak, save all that money for the valley that you can't see down into, cause you never know when you'll be in a valley again or on your way down. Sounds to me like you're a typical young man making mistakes and hopefully learning lessons. Don't make people a priority if they only make you an option. Learn from mistakes and don't make them again. I don't think you're an asshole, jus naive, impulsive, and good hearted. Sounds like life is going to fuck some of that goodness out of you still. Tis the way tis
We Gods have a saying..."Welcome to the real world." Oh, enjoy your stay, blah, blah...Here's your papers.
i know all about the real world. im living with cousins in a city away from home and going to school to become a nurse. im good on that front. i just wanted some honest random opinions whether im totally fucked up here or not.
OH FORGOT TO MENTION: the reason I was in that high rent apartment is because I took it over from the same friend that co-signed for me. him and his wife found a house they really wanted and it was hot on the market so they had to buy it then and there if they wanted it. they got approved for their mortgage and they were begging for someone to take their apartment lease over. no one would. til I did.
and i didnt want that apartment. they had trashed it... thats why no one of our friends wanted it. but the house they found was indeed perfect in many ways, it was not only a badass house, it was two houses down from his mom's house... had a great school distract we grew up in... in a gated community... etc etc... and i just loved them so much i couldnt bear for them to lose that house so i bit the bullet and took it over... then the mother fuckers didnt even clean the bathroom and it was RANK omfg DONT EVEN LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT
you shouldn't have been forsaken and that is disgusting, I know what that can be like, admittedly not to the same degree as you though. Before you read the next part I would like to say that I am not judging, I'm just stating my opinion. 1) You could have been smarter with your money, but I don't know what sort of education you have had with financial matters. 2) Never, ever EVER ever ever ever ever, go into any sort of business with any friend unless its under $200. 3) If your leasing or renting anything, make sure you can afford at least 3 months worth for that "oh fuck" situation. 4) Never forget number 2.
its not you brotha, clearly your "friend" isnt in the position to pay for both his lady and you, so he shouldn't be agreeing to co-sign anything in the first place... as far as them telling the world, imo, was completely childish... and after all you've done for them, it seems they showed you zero remorse and absolutely no respect
Don't feel bad. I got a friend a job at a place i worked, and this bitch took my position and got me fired! Talk about an enemy. I hate her for life.
You said you live in the suburbs brah, but you and i know you cant afford yhe suburbs especially outside a "huge" city. You gone have to move to the hood and buy a car thst doednt require a loan. Simple as that, you have to problem solve not rely on people to be understanding, that's naive. Because if you wanna get something done right, DO IT YOURSELF. Sent from my SCH-R820 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Damn dude! And to the OP...people suck, don't rely on them for anything. And I doubt your friends just dropped you cus this happened..probably more the way you handled it.