What the title says. Because of a need to save money and other stuff occurring, I decided to cut down on smoking. I didn't smoke for probably a week and I will admit i have felt great being able to clear my kind a little living sober. Don't get me wrong, I love being high though. Except for one part and this is where my story comes in. I smoked two days ago with a pal and it was fine. But last night, I was with my cousin and we got pretty high. a good friend he hasn't seen in forever called him up and I haven't see the guy in forever either so even though I was reallyyy tired, I went. Because I was tired, my cousin bought me a rock star and I hate energy drinks but I drank like half anyways. So, we get to the friends house and their is another friend there that I haven't seen in forever so it was nice catching up with them a bit. There was also this chick that I know but don't really talk to. So we went inside to go smoke and were just sitting in the bedroom and I just feel awkward as hell. I became extremely self concious and quiet. It's like I didn't know how to behave and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was looking around then i would stare at who was smoking and my eyes would dart away. The two guys I hadn't seen in forever could tell I was acting really strange but I had no reason to. They're good guys and I get along great with them and I actually think they were trying to help me get involved more so I wouldn't act like that, but that just made me feel even shittier knowing that they knew. After we smoked, our friend drove to my cousins to get some weed but when I was there too, I was stuck drowned in my thoughts and self pity and I think they were starting to crack up at how I was acting. I think they were whispering concerned wondering what was going on but they were giggling at the same time when I was ahead of them walking back to the car. So I had the friend drop me off because I couldn't handle it anymore. He was understanding and kind and I told him them I didn't feel good. They thought I was sick but I told them I was having anxiety attacks. After I get out the car and walk close to my door, tears came to my eyes and I started to cry. All day today I've just felt like shit for the most part. I've felt a little worthless and like everyone is just out to get me. It makes me depressed because I feel hopeless in the future that I'm just going to always be socially awkward. Can someone help me out? I love weed but I hate that I can't enjoy it in group settings. Depending on who I'm with, I always get self concious. But last night was not like any other night. I think the rock star had something to do with it but I can't tell for sure. Was I just having some sort of anxiety attack? With weed I feel too out of it inside my head and I never really think for myself. I kinda just let everything happen even if I'm not okay with it. This is how I felt last night atleast. This is why I normally smoke by myself. But I'm starting too think I may give it up all together for a peace of mind. Because the week I didn't smoke, I felt normal and confident. I was even talking to girls one day just approaching. Any input, advice, or feedback on similar experiences, how to use weed to cure anxiety or exactly what the fuck happened time last night and how to prevent that?
Wow man sorry to hear that. Shit like that can really hurt. I actually quit smoking weed about a year ago now because of the exact same reason. I came to realize it was only a crutch weighing me down, I didnt want to be a self conscious nervous person. Made me think WAY too much about everything. Brain was foggy and I could never really think straight, everything tainted. Now after not smoking, when Im around people who smoke weed I usually instantly know because of certain traits and such, they never seem quite right. And this from a guy who used to back weed to the moon saying it has no negative effects etc etc but it does regardless of what anyone says. Most are too addicted to even question the negatives. It messes with your emotions so much, serotonin and dopamine levels, its never good to be getting and high and low everyday your fucking with your brain no matter what drug coke, coffee or weed. I love who I am today as a clear thinking confident back to MYSELF person, back to my good ol personality enjoying life self that I was before all the years of smoking pot. And the funny thing is, is that life is SO much more enjoyable sober! Weed and all drugs make you believe that life is boring and tasteless if your not high, drunk etc, its the body craving the drug, you cant even be happy if you dont have it, it consumes you. Ever be around a bunch of sober people addicted to weed? All they talk about is getting high. I know this is weird saying this on a weed forum, but its always something to think about, do whatever is best for you and makes YOU happy. Also want to say after years of smoking everyday it took me a good 6 months at least for my body to really detox everything out and get my normal brain back. And it gets better all the time, good luck bud.
Wow OP, maybe it was the rockstsr, I remember the only night I've consumed large amounts if rockstar, I had a full blown anxiety attack out if nowhere, for no reason. I was walking around BSU campus w/ my friend at night, looked into a window of an old building, felt like something was looking back at me, and I bolted, my friend chased after me and I stopped and just broke down crying, scared, and hella paranoid about everything. I'm quitting for a while too, but just until I can find a job.
Cut down on the ganja and get your mind right brother. Stuff like this indicates that, for the time being, weed is not helping, only hurting - it's wise for the sake of your mental well being to give it a rest for a bit and get out your head. It is just a state of mind and not signs of a serious psychological issue (I would say) - but sometimes it's best just to not go there and clear your head. I think a lot of us become a little too lax with our approach to weed and forget that it should (imo) be used as a tool for growth and good times. When it's neither of those things it's time, i feel, take to take a step back. Good luck man.
Just like anything in life, you cannot let this plant rule your life. It is all about having a balance, but the problem is that when you do something that makes you feel good, you want it more and more and then you loose control. What happens when you eat your favorite dish everyday for a long time? You get fed up with it and then it starts affecting the body, so is with cannabis.
Don't let your life revolve around weed, let weed revolve around your life Sounds like a stupid rasta quote but it's true.
yeah weed is great. it has helped me get over my depression i'd say..... there were times I felt so shitty I couldn't sleep and weed was the only thing that helped me and made me feel happy when I was feeling shitty. I also feel relaxed and I feel like weed reduces my stress. i'm not a "stoner" though. I smoke weed usually at night by myself. i don't wake up and smoke weed, i don't smoke when i'm at school or work etc. it gives me anxiety also only when i'm around people i don't know. like everyone else said. like anything else it does have negative side effects for some and it al depends on how you use it.
Thank you everybody. This is some really nice feedback. I think this is a wake up call to stop smoking because I've always felt deep down that it holds me back but Ive still loved it. I know people say that it is how you treat it and that it is all in your head but people that don't get anxious on weed don't understand that it's not that easy. Next time I'm offered I may just take one hit and see how I feel because I normally feel better if I just take a puff, as opposed to getting absolutely stoned. Is that how people self medicate for anxiety? Either way, in college Im going to stop because I would not be able to handle diving into that huge change whilst high. im hoping in the future when I figure myself out or when i get my shit together, whenever that is, I will come back to Mary with a new attitude and naturally I won't be consumed by these thoughts.
This happened to me when I was smoking hash oil for the first time. I was in a room with at least 20 people but I only knew one of them (the person who's room it was). He loaded me a fat dab of hash oil and I hadn't smoked in a couple weeks. After the first hit, I just wasn't myself anymore. I got really quiet and my face turned pale as fuck everyone was like dude whats wrong with you and people started laughing and the hot girls in the room were looking at me all weirded out. After like 5 minutes I had to get out of there and I went to the bathroom...I could still hear people talking in my head, like "what's wrong dude, is everything ok. You don't look so good." But there was no one around, it was just me in the bathroom. I started reexamining everything in my life and shit...whenever I thought about any aspect of my life -- my job, girlfriend, family, it would seem so depressing and sad and it made me wanna scream. My friend let me chill in his guest room by myself and I laid down just thinking for like two hours then fell asleep. It was a fucking awful night...was embarrassed to show my face the next day, but I ended up smoking again and everything was alright. Sometimes shit like that just happens.
Some of these "strains" are missing the ingredient that keeps anxiety and paranoia at bay. The outdoor grown imports we used to get did not cause this. Hopefully some day it will be legal and we will once again have imported weed that makes you happy each and every time you smoke, without the anxiety and paranoia.
Sometimes I just break away and get some deep breaths in, at moments when I'm feeling really anxious. I don't like smoking with large groups of people, maybe four max anyway.
This is exactly what I go through every time I smoke, its so fucking annoying but I normally would get pressured into smoking anyways then act socially retarded when in reality I should just carry on being my normal self. When im by myself I can smoke no problem fo,r example tonight I plan on taking at least 3 dabs, when I smoke by my self im fine probably cause its just me and I can do what I want/not talk. Im goin to try to get my tolerance up before school and possibly get anxiety medication. Ill take a fat dab of OG Kush bho for u
Update: I was hanging out with just my neighbor and he had weed. I didn't pass it up because I wanted to pace myself to see how I got and because I can be normal around him. I feel fine and good actually. I still don't know how I'd be in big groups so I'm not going to risk it
Thanks bro you wanna share some of that you seem chill so I wouldn't have to worth about any shittyy anxiety attack lol
When you smoke with large groups, sometimes all the different personalities clash in a way that is unexpected or negative in some kind of way. I've been there before, but nowadays I control it pretty damn well. When I first started smoking I would get like that sometimes. It's all about tempo and controlling conversation. Keep yourself invested in what is going on, even subconsciously. Act like a boss without trying to act like a boss. People respect composure.