said No Stoner Ever

"im gonna go for a run"

 

'no pizza for me'- said no stoner ever
'this sucks, let's go to the gym instead'- said no stoner ever

 

Let's go on GC and read all of danbridge's posts

 

Sure, I'd love to smoke all my weed with you mooching fuckbags
No, don't worry about matching
You're buying pizza? Naa I don't want any

 

"Here, ill share my food with you" said very few stoners

 

I think imma break all my pipes and flush my bud

 

"I am in my apartment by myself? Definitely not going to masturbate" or "I love this song but it sounds terrible high". 

 

nah man, it's okay, you can smoke the whole thing.

 

I don't want to watch that movie - why would I watch a movie that makes no sense? 

 

I clean my bong sober this time...

 

"fuck music" said no stoner ever

 

No, hot stoner chick, I do not want a blowjob while I smoke this one.

 

"I'm not going to jack off while high anymore"

Said no stoner ever

I'm going to do exactly that, no shame bitches!

 

"Flippin reggie, 300 an OZ."

 

i am way to high to eat right now
 
yes officer i have weed in the car
 
i cant smoke i have a headache 

 

*At McDonalds* I'll have a salad. 

 

"I know where my lighter is" said no stoner ever.

 

"Wanna come to my DARE meeting with me?" said no stoner ever.

 

"I can't stop drooling"