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Some fucked up jokes

  • by Aconites
  • Oct 27 2006 01:48 AM
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Posted 27 October 2006 - 01:48 AM

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A mother is sitting in a garden with her three daughters.

"Mom," the first daughter asks. "Why did you name me Rose?"

"Well because soon after you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."

"Mom," asked the second daughter. "Why did you name me Tulip?"

"Because shortly after you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."

The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"

"Shut up Fridge," said the mother.



====================================================

A guy was having sex with a girl, and decided he was going to try his luck, flip her over and do her doggy style. The girl didn't complain, and just went along with it. The guy got a little more daring and decided to stick his finger in her ass. She still didn't say anything, and seemed to be enjoying it. The guy decided to go all the way and proceeded to slip his dick in her asshole.

The girl suddenly froze, looked back at him over her shoulder, and said "Don't you think it's a little presumptuous for you to think it's okay to fuck me in the ass?"

"Presumptuous is a very big word for a five year old" he replied.




=======================================================

A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his seven year-old daughter. The pharmacist is a little shocked and says, "Your seven year-old daughter is sexually active?!"

"No," replies the man. "She sort of just lays there."





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What's the difference between old people and slinkies?

Nothing, There both usless but fun to watch after you push them down a flight of stairs



=====================================================

This just makes me laugh

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Replies (20)

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  • Rasta_Man
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Posted 27 October 2006 - 01:50 AM

I dont get it.

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  • OkieBluntSmoka
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Posted 27 October 2006 - 02:30 AM

This just makes me laugh

Posted Image


lol i thought that was funny, i actually laughed at that. im high

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  • McTwist
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Posted 27 October 2006 - 03:08 AM

lolol that pic. its so retarded but im high so everythings funny now

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  • metalstonerking
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Posted 27 October 2006 - 03:20 AM

hahahahahahahahdsdjhafjhsadgkjesrklopolololololROFLCOPTER

"she just sort of lays there" hahahahjASDHASDFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted 27 October 2006 - 05:58 AM

What did the blind, dumb, and deaf kid get for Christmas?
Cancer

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
Because she was a women

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Posted 27 October 2006 - 06:29 AM

Those jokes used to make me laugh... they get a lot less funny when you see fucked up stuff like that starting to happen around you. The way it effects people permanently, it's completely unnerving and far from anything that will make me laugh. Not to kill your joke or anything, just saying how I feel about it.

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Posted 27 October 2006 - 10:24 AM

Those jokes used to make me laugh... they get a lot less funny when you see fucked up stuff like that starting to happen around you. The way it effects people permanently, it's completely unnerving and far from anything that will make me laugh. Not to kill your joke or anything, just saying how I feel about it.

Yeah, as long as anything hasn't happened to you personally, then I guess it can be considered funny. But, if you know someone mentally retarded and someone tells you the Fridge joke, it's just offensive :(

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Posted 27 October 2006 - 04:50 PM

What's better than a dead baby in a trash can?
A dead baby in seven trash cans.
What is so special about babies?
There the only person in the world that you can give anal to and receive a blowjob from at the same time.
I don't condone this whatsoever,but I think they're funny jokes,just to mess around and laugh at.I'm sorry if I offend anybody...

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Posted 27 October 2006 - 08:34 PM

lol

some sick jokes people, I laughed at the one about the deaf, blind kid

Q: What's blue and fucks old people?

a: Hypothermia

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Posted 28 October 2006 - 07:44 AM

lol

some sick jokes people, I laughed at the one about the deaf, blind kid

Q: What's blue and fucks old people?

a: Hypothermia


Haha, I don't even know if that's offensive. When I read that the first thing I thought was COPS! And then it said Hypothermia. And being as stoned as I thought to myself... "that kid spelled cops REALLY wrong". Then I figured out it was a completely different word and now... well now I'm right here typing this.

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Posted 30 October 2006 - 07:23 AM

hypothermia,funny shit

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Posted 30 October 2006 - 02:31 PM

How do you subscribe to a thread without letting anyone know about it?

-mu

doh!

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 12:04 AM

A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his seven year-old daughter. The pharmacist is a little shocked and says, "Your seven year-old daughter is sexually active?!"

"No," replies the man. "She sort of just lays there."



================================================

What's the difference between old people and slinkies?

Nothing, There both usless but fun to watch after you push them down a flight of stairs

LOLOL!!

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 01:39 AM

Haha, I don't even know if that's offensive. When I read that the first thing I thought was COPS! And then it said Hypothermia. And being as stoned as I thought to myself... "that kid spelled cops REALLY wrong". Then I figured out it was a completely different word and now... well now I'm right here typing this.



hahahahahahahaha..
the jokes got a tiny smile out of me...but that just made me laugh for 5minutes straight hahaha :smoke:

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 01:43 AM

Rofl!

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 07:22 PM

What's red and squirmy in the corner?
A baby in a baggy.
What's green and smelly and sits in the corner?
The same baby three weeks later.

I know some really sick ones. They disgust and offend me in every way, but here they are anyway.

What's better than a seven year old girl in the shower?
Slicking her hair back and making her look like a seven year old boy.

What's the best thing about twenty seven year olds?
There's twenty of them.

What kind of sound does a baby make in the oven?
I don't know, I was too busy beating off.

What's red and bubbly and spins around in circles?
A baby in a microwave.

Aughhh, I hate these jokes.

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 07:53 PM

haha This is fucked up and immoral.
anyway...

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear...

so long, good bye im going to hell now :wave:

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 01:57 AM

Haha, I don't even know if that's offensive. When I read that the first thing I thought was COPS! And then it said Hypothermia. And being as stoned as I thought to myself... "that kid spelled cops REALLY wrong". Then I figured out it was a completely different word and now... well now I'm right here typing this.



OMG, don't ya love when you're THAT stoned!!!!! :D

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 03:43 AM

Some of these other jokes are messed up lol.




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