My thoughts on Diet Dr. Pepper (a modernday collection of thoughts)

-Sunlight- It's 3:40 on a Tuesday and I'm sitting on my porch. I'm reclining in a deck chair with my feet propped up on the railing drinking a diet dr pepper, I was hesitant at first because I used to think diet soda was killing us. Alas I now see my error of not trusting my fellow man, if I can respect someone for their writings or music or cooking or manners or anything I can respect someone making a big company and achieving their aspirations. But if someone were to be among the people who were self loathing capitalists and they wished to be else where but stayed for connivence or if they were too afraid to face their thoughts I cannot respect. I believe everyone deserves respect unless they choose not to live, then we should treat them as an unwanted individual or moreover a dead man. Not as punishment no, but as fulfillment of their wanted role in life. I can say this because this is the role I take in some situations I cannot feel comfortable in, if I do not want to be somewhere subconsciously but haven't brought it to the forefront of my mind then I need a little push to realize that my wish to be somewhere else could be fulfilled. I am not entirely sure if this is fact or not yet, I have not presented this idea to anyone yet to see if someone can relate. I think that in my narcissistic generation I could find some lovely partners although, because from my narcissism stemmed my love for this world. I used such logic to prove that the world was bad, then presented it to people, when no one killed themselves after me telling them my feelings I understood that there is something to live for, I cannot tell you what that is for I do not know. Furthermore I do not know if my position on life is correct, so I must assume that every person is correct in their own mind, even furthermore if that last statement was true then I can make my life position what ever I want and change my entire world by thinking differently, which I have and I can hardly even remember what life was like before I gave into love of my fellow man and love of my world. It's writing like I am now from which my opinion of life stems, I can look down and see snow from 2 days ago on the ground, it was cold and naturally made me want to stay inside, which I don't normally enjoy, but now I am basking in the light of my beautiful world and soaking up every second of my life for all it's worth, which is what I determine it to be. I am enjoying music from an orchestra playing famous led zeppelin songs, it's so amazing how we can have our device play us music at anytime or to record our thoughts at anytime. These are wonderful times I live in, but I do know somethings are far from it, all things not of wonderment or beauty stem from the failure of man, because alas we cannot believe in god and blame him for anything. If we choose to believe in something higher that us we can only respect and love him, why on earth would someone curse the one who feeds him? Furthermore curse any of that creators other creations, did he creat us so selfish that we cannot respect him? I do not believe so, if it is true he created me not to understand. I stare at an old tree in my backyard and squint. I held up my hand to cover the light for a bit and noticed that the tree changed color, not majorly but it became a darker fuller brown, then I move my hand and saw it as a light brown, I move my hand back and forth contemplating this and color in general, color does change when light hits my eyes, who am I to deny the fact that I see this tree change color? It does not need to change in any other way except by shades but it changes to me. Physically I understand the matter, but what do I really know of this physical world when colors change within seconds to me? Now I am being surrounded by the sound of cackling geese, once again I am deceived by this world though, I attempted to see these geese that "I knew" where there, I sat up and walked to the end of my deck but could not see them still. So do "I know" truly that there a geese there? One of my senses says yes others no, the only way I can tell is if I go. I walked and saw the geese, now "I know" there a geese here. This is how i reach matter of the mind as well, i don't just question the thought or idea, i apply it to my everyday thinking and actions and then i can understand or be truly able to say "I know". I must add one more thought before I dismiss this lovely session of thinking, in my last sentences I wrote them as "this is how we must reach a matter of the mind" and spoke of it almost as a commandment replacing the I's with we's and the my with our shows how I first wrote it 3 minutes ago. I cannot let things like this happen in my journey of writings for I know I know nothing and I am the last person who should have an opinion on others matters because I cannot even accept some matters as real in my own life, I do not wish to preach, just to flick a switch or shine some sunlight in others worlds