I was watching a Jennamarbles video once and she, jokingly and breifly, brought up the topic of men vs women on the "friendzone" thing, but it was still interesting to me. When a guy gets rejected, if there is an excuse, it will be "I got friendzoned" or "Nice guys finish last". while, according to Jenna, when a girl gets rejected, girls just see the other girl, realize she is prettier than her and just say "aw, fuck." because it really isn't worth getting upset over, men will 9/10 times choose the prettier women. or as Jenna herself said "Nice girls finish last...said no one ever." and personally I think it's an interesting topic. maybe it's because i'm a girl haha.
Well written article but one I completely disagree with. How can you believe that the term 'friend zone' is 'characterized by a hatred of women,' which is, by definition, the meaning of misogyny. Maybe you should read a dictionary before playing with big words that you don't understand. Perhaps 'chauvinist' was the term you were looking for, which can be defined by a 'prejudiced belief towards ones gender, group or kind.' Maybe then you would have had some grounds for a discussion. But by throwing the term 'misogynist' around so loosely you have brought an awful lot of ire upon yourself. And rightly so. You come across as a new age feminist turn cloak in this article. A snivelling quim so contented by his own sex life that he feels he can sneer down his nose at his fellow man for failing to succeed in theirs. A word of advice: don't. That shit don't fly around here boy. In fact it don't fly in any part of the world walked upon by men. Maybe you're just bitter because you weren't ACTUALLY born with a vagina. Even though you walk around pretending that you were. Not all men see all women as pivots who they haven't fucked yet. And yes, in some cases, men see women as nothing more than a friend. Exactly how they see their own sister. Especially if the woman in question is particularly unnatractive or out of shape and the man is contented by his own assets. There are some things women can do that men just can't (and vice versa). It's good to experience the best of both sexes - even in a non sexual way - and you can't do that by hanging out with just guys. However, this is very rare like I said. Most times a guy is friends with a girl (and she has even the slightest iota of sex appeal) he wants to fuck her, even if the logistics of their situation won't allow it. Even the ones who are like 'no way dude she's like a sister to me' have probably rubbed one out over her many times. The fact is, if you're a person who is even slightly attractive (which I think most women are in one way or another) and you're the kind of person I enjoy spending time with, then my biology dictates that I am probably going to feel feelings of sexual desire towards you at some point. Sorry, that's just how it is. The dreaded friend zone is a horrible place to be. Far better to not be friends at all than to be in that situation where the girl you like doesn't feel the same, but still likes hanging out with you anyway. Watching her get with other guys is like a cold knife in the heart every time. I have fallen into the friends zone with more women than I care to admit. And most of them I fucked in the end. And now we're not really friends at all. Sad but true. However, one can only fall into the friends one if they're own needyness allows for it. There is no such thing as unrequited love, only obsession. There are 3 billion females out there. Different ones are right for you at different times of your life. If one girl doesn't like you back then the very best thing you can do is spend less time with her and go out and meet LOTS of different women. Because you won't have the needy feelings, you'll probably find yourself much more successful with these. And as your confidence and game grow, you'll realize the original girl probably wasn't all that and you'll naturally act more cool around her, leading you slowly but surely out of the friend zone and into her vagina. By the way, some great advice I learned (from the ever suave Richard La Ruina) is 'be the first to raise the objections.' Like, when (if) it starts escalating, don't let her be the one to say 'oh we shouldn't we're just friends.' Instead, YOU be that person in between kissing her. Naturally she'll be more inclined to offer counter arguments as to why you should. Silent arguments, delivered directly to your cock.
Pretty much.. when a girl gets friendzoned she figures there's a justification. When a guy gets friendzoned he figures she was a manipulative bitch who had been stringing him along for free drinks and an ego boost. And guys, if you're getting friendzoned all the time, consider for a moment that it's not that all women are out to fuck with you, maybe you're always just so hurt by it that you automatically cast yourself as some sort of victim. And I never intend to walk all over a guy, but if he lies down in the mud in front of me... Also, I'd like to clarify because I think some of you are addressing your replies to that article to me. I didn't actually write it. I just posted it. This shit comes up a lot on GC and wanted to start a dialogue about it.
I think the other reason the friendzone comes across misogynistic is evidenced in most of the guys in this thread defending it. It only applies to attractive women. Unattractive women don't exist as sexual prospects, and attractive women deserve your attention (and ultimate rejection when they don't provide sex) because their role as attractive women is to be sexually desirable to you and nothing more.
No, I know. You claim you're helpless to your biology... and they don't give a shit because that's the oldest bullshit excuse for misogyny ever used. Go to the middle east, the men there claim to be so helpless to their biology that women have to have their skin completely covered or those dudes will be too helpless to their biology to not rape. "Selfish to biology" is the term. You want to fuck your attractive friends and if you don't get to, you're mad and don't want to attempt to be understanding about it.
Lol, what a witty one you are. But, pro tip, you may improve your game if, rather than again attempting wit, you just covered yourself in your own excrement.
Its a two way road on this subject because what both parties are saying is true. Also, you just said yourself that if a guy "lets" you, you would just walk all over them. Kinda contradicting there.
Actually, what I said was "I never intend to walk all over a guy, but if he lies down in the mud in front of me.." There's no contradiction. I never said I didn't. I said I don't want to/don't intend to, but it's just about inescapable sometimes when a guy is really, really into you and would be even more hurt if you told him to go away. I think some guys must get off on being walked all over by a pretty girl. Maybe not as hard as they would get off on having sex with that girl, but if that's never going to happen anyway..
Translation: "I use the excuse of not wanting to hurt a guy's feelings in order to continue to lead him on and reap the benefits of it. To further justify my bad actions, I tell myself it's their fault."
Also, the guys I'm thinking of, by this point I've already been up front. I've already hurt their feelings by telling them I'm not interested. I don't want to then say "I know you're interested, and I know I'm not, and I know you want to continue hanging out, but I think it's best for you in the long run if we never see each other again." Because you guys (even after being rejected) believe that if I/she just gets to know you a little better, her/my mind will change. And you friendzone your damn selves. Or you're so afraid of rejection that you never act like it will ever be possible for us to be together and so then I don't see it either. And while you're quietly plotting to win me over through friendship, I'm content enough with friendship! (And turned off by the super timidness of the approach.) Or (quite likely) it's both. You're afraid of being rejected and act like my friend. I get attached to friend-you then you tell me you want more. I would like to reject timid-dater-you without having to reject friend-you (who's a really cool guy), but it rarely works like that. And then you get mad at me for some really stupid reason, whether I tell you we can never hang out again or whether I tell you we can continue hanging out as friends. And somehow, it's all my fault and I deserve your anger because I dared to be hot in front of you with legs shut.
I never said anything about being helpless, but you seem to only be focusing on the conscious aspect of the situation rather than acknowledging the biological factors. You're a fucking joke dude. I want to fuck my attractive friends and I don't get to, so I'm mad and don't want to attempt to be understanding about it? That's not the case at all, and you're basing that assumption on nothing more than your blind determination to make men look like assholes.