Whenever you rely on other people to feel good about yourself and your life, you run into problems.. and you get the opposite of what you desire. Chasing never feels good. Personally, I'd rather live and die alone than ever be remembered as a people chaser. I'm not even on Facebook or dating sites anymore.
Fuck dating sites.. They're all a complete waste of time filled with girls to boost their massive ego so I never even tried lol. I don't go out all the time but dude, screw staying inside all damn day everyday sounds too depressing. No wonder people have depression... You gotta get out every once in awhile.. I do music production, engineering, songrwriting, etc so I gotta get out to connect and network with people or my studio is just a waste of money and might of well sell it and say fuck my passion.
Didn't exactly suggest you to live in your bedroom for the rest of your life.. More like - don't turn the pursuit of the female gender, into a goal itself. Immerse yourself into music production.
I never post here anymore because I don't feel like I belong here now, but I do check in occasionally. I like the way you think. It was only when i completely gave up my months-like pursuit of women, said fuck it, and signed up for summer school classes and decided to go all in on school, that the universe placed an awesome girl in the seat right next to me, and we ended up together. Still going strong about 6 months later now. I basically stopped fighting loneliness and just accepted it, and focused on improving other areas of my life. Meeting a girl was just a coincidence along the way
Yep. In other words - Getting into a relationship, won't solve your problems. Solving your problems, will get you into a relationship! My situation is a bit unusual, though. I feel like the only gay gal in my country.. you literally can't find LGBT people on dating sites here, just cause there ain't that many people around to begin with. All the cool, sexy, intelligent chicks are either straight, or they're overseas. Always. lol So I decided, I might as well just BE that cool, sexy, intelligent chick that I dreamed of.. rocking the world on my own. I may be a hermit living in a science lab, but I'm never giving up on makeup, fashion and hygiene. Do I really need somebody else to validate my existence?
I use the dating sites but it's rare that I find anyone in my age group that isn't a redneck. I did meet this guy who just moved here from CA.I thought he was nice at first but he has turned out to be a weirdo after I got to know him. Now he wants me to introduce him to all the growers I know.
I think so too. It is the desire, the wanting , the seperation from the wanted that creates the unpleasant feelings of frustration in the first place. So its much better to have no wants at all. The successfull person just goes about their hobbys in a self confident way , still thinking now and then about what he / she needs but afterwards forgets about it and things just fall into place at some point in time.
That is also something i thought about a lot. Relationships can be the source of our happiness but they have their downside like beeing dependent on someone else and the impermanent nature that are also part of them. So i thought there must be alternative states of happinesses that have a more independent character. Currently i´m pretty content with online communitys, gaming buddies, whatsapp groups in terms of communications that relate the feeling of beeing part of something. Growing is pretty much my passion and weed rounds up everything and gives a feeling of independence. I know from someone who took heroine for years that there are even better drugs that can provide the feeling i`m after but they have other downsides like becoming an addict and cause severe money problems leading often to criminal activity. And more bad Karma is certainly not what anyone needs. Still the interesting thing about a heroin addict is that they dont need sex or relationships simply because they do have a happiness that is higher. They have become completely independent from them. And then i know there is a happiness even higher but needs a lot of work and timely investments: the pure happiness of the mind accessed in deep meditations. That is why i can confidently say some monks out there are the most independent people in the world experiencing the most exquisit bliss there is. They can literally stay alone for month or even years not speaking a single word to anyone (impressively so sometimes thats what they do).
never let a bitch come between you and making your paper. Money over girls is always the way to go cause you can buy girls. í ½í¸‰í ½í± when the right one comes along you will know just never settle for less.
For guys, the secret to getting women to like you and getting laid is very simple and as follows: Be forward, and be indifferent. There is no reason to be shy with women. They are a commodity. If you are attracted to one and she rejects you, there are several BILLION other ones on the planet to choose from. Secondly (and this is the most important part), if a woman has made it clear that she is attracted to you, NEVER wear your heart on your sleeve, regardless of how you feel about her. Chicks love to chase. Once they've "caught" you, then it's time for them to feed......on your heart. Don't ever let one completely catch you. Ever. You've kinda got to brainwash yourself into acting / thinking like this if you're a "nice guy". All I can say is that it worked for me. I got more quality ass within 6 months of my divorce at age 30 than I did throughout the entirety of my adolescence, and I'm nothing special at all to look at. Facebook was also a great tool for my post-divorce single days, as I systematically banged every chick that I'd gone to high school with who was still tappable and available. My life was like a porn for a couple of years. Why? Because I had nothing to lose and I didn't give a fuck....And guess what....It turned out that attitude drove chicks absolutely crazy. Eventually I settled down again and now I'm in a committed relationship, but I still maintain a little bit of distance and I definitely don't EVER allow myself to be treated as a fucking doormat for a woman like I used to.
In my experience, when you're desperate and insecure - what's going to happen is you're going to attract people who are just as desperate and insecure as you are. That's actually part of the reason I didn't enjoy my first one-night stand. It wasn't because the girl wasn't pretty. More like - I was trying to force myself to 'have a sex life', when really.. sex is about as overrated as the American Dream.
Howdy, strangers. It is I, the creator of this thread. I just wanted to say, I'm not lonely anymore. But I'm not attached either. I've been learning and growing and working hard at fixing some of the fundamental issues that have contributed to my struggles. I'm dating, casually. In no hurry to settle down. And I'm excited about my future. I'm no longer overwhelmed by looking at my life and imagining it alone. I feel empowered, I feel strong, and I am learning to feel genuine happiness again.
i've noticed lately with this new job that it is pretty damn hard to get lonely feelings when ur so busy. Get busy !
Agree completely, I work 6 days a week, 52 hours and I'd go crazy if i sat at the house all day not making any money or having something to do. If I didn't work I wouldn't have money to go out with friends so it works out good for me at the moment. Maybe when I get a s/o I'll go back to a 40 hour a week job. Right now at least in my life I'm just focusing on my self, it's crazy how much I don't even feel like Christmas is 4 days away, without someone to spend it with and family is out State or out of country. I'll be spending my holiday at the job. Better than sitting at the house I suppose, it's interesting how much your life can change in a year, I'll be glad for this year to be fucking gone and hopefully better things for me in 2016. Ironically my last relationship ended on Christmas, I'll be glad when I can spend the holidays with someone next year.
Christmas is right around the corner and I've haven't felt this alone in years, I'm used to having a s/o to get excited for Christmas, have someone to give a gift that you know will light up their face. I honestly just want to be able to cuddle up to someone and relax, haven't been able to do that in nearly a year. Hopefully this new year will have new positive vibes for me.
I don't like this approach if i'm being honest. While it is effective, I feel like it's basically just a bandaid. You can't stay busy forever and once you aren't, it'll come at you in waves because those feelings are still there and haven't been addressed... besides, if you do stay busy forever then you'll go through all of life without having any fun. It's definitely a useful tool, but I suppose the point i'm making is that you shouldn't rely on it to fix loneliness.