The Lonely Thread

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SassyMelassy, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Pretty demoralizing day. I recently had to move back in with my parents, and I'm getting sucked back into all the dysfunctional family misery that I fought like hell to escape. And I live out in the sticks so I'm fast losing touch with the few friends I had. It just feels like all the gains I've made over the last five years (I'm 23) have totally evaporated, and I'm a hapless teenager again at the mercy of crazy people. I pretty much just spend all my time not at my shitty part time job browsing the internet, trying to avoid thinking about the absence of certainty in my life and the lack of any kind of discernible future for myself. Not sure what to do anymore.

     
  2. Met an awesome chick back in June, but I met her right before she was leaving for a 6-week Euro Tour. She came back at the end of July, and since then I've only got to hang out with her once. And briefly. She has so many friends, that I'm not sure if I'll get to make this a true connection before she leaves for England at the end of this month (grad school).

    I usually don't post in here because sometimes being single, its easier to just be content with it and forget that dating even exists.

    Well. Now I've hit that spot where you've had the littlest of tastes, and it tortures you daily knowing you have to forget her and go back to the grind.
     
  3. s-stop being me, dude
    [​IMG]
     
  4. ever since the inception of my facebook page in 2008, zero fucks have been given towards relationship status. Perma-single for lyfe. This nerd right here has it all...


    [​IMG]


     
  5. Can't believe this thread is still around. Well, it's been nearly or perhaps even longer than 3 years since my last relationship ended. There was a couple partners at the beginning of this period but none were serious and did not last long. I've been alone in a romantic sense for the greater part of these last few years. I can't bring myself to go out and meet someone, nor let those who I do meet get close to me. This seems to be the most difficult cycle to break.
     
  6. I know how you feel brother, I got hurt real bad this past year by my girl of 4 years, (ended up getting with one of my good friends). It's been 9 months and I have no desire to get in a relationship, I've had a troubled past and have trouble getting close to people, feels like a waste of time ya know? Cheers bro I hope we can find someone that's worth the effort
     
  7. #48628 trevordd, Sep 20, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2015
    As for me, I am single and trying to find someone using online dating sites like https://www.bridge-of-love.com and Tinder app. I've dated several cool Russian girls from that website. Hope, I will find my love there someday..
     
  8. Never even had the coitus once. I'm more of a sheldon than sheldon cooper is sheldon.
     
  9. Been a while since i checked in with you sassey - doing better, cancer count is down to 1617 from 22518, still hepatitis c free - looks like the treatment might stick, the oncologist is tripping out that i'm curing "uncurable" cancer on my own, still pretty tired and can't tell if its because of the 3 grams of oil a day or the cancer still. anyway, I was supposed to be dead already, instead i'm back up over 150 lbs, working towards 180, my old "fighting" weight. keep the faith people!!
     
  10. What to do when the woman you are so in tune with is the other side of the world. A fleeting time together, promises to meet again, life comes in and has other ideas... Emailing just doesn't cut it anymore.


    Goddamn.
     
  11. jerk off is what you do.
     
  12. Well no wonder why THAT be a virgin. [​IMG]

    here's for the lonely m8's - power up brothers. http://area1255.blogspot.com/2014/12/legal-alterna...
     
  13. I'm definitely lonely
     
  14. I might could help you
     
  15. Why aren't you used to it yet. I'm telling you, once you get used to it, shit don't even register anymore. No more 'abloo bloo bloo, woe is me because I am o solo mio', you just won't care anymore.


    Ofcourse the only drawback is that when someone does show interest in you, you'll be too suspicious to really believe them.
    It ain't like companionship is some magical fix it band aid anyway, why I had this one ex who told me 'you can't make your life revolve around someone else.' She might've been onto something, but what did she know.
     
  16. #48637 AsthmaticStoner, Sep 26, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2015
    I've lived with my grandparents for the majority of my life, dating back to when I was crawling around. I'm 23 now. Lost my grandfather in '99 and just lost my grandmother back in July, she hung in until the day after my birthday (best birthday present I've ever had). It was my grandparents house and my mother lived in it with me. After my grandmother passed, my uncle quickly came in and took over, changing locks and what not. My mom over dosed hours after my grandmother stopped breathing and was rushed to the ER clinging onto her life. Mom turned out fine after spending a month in rehab, but then was not allowed back into the house, so she moved in with her sister. Both of them are heavy pill users and heroin/crack/whatever it is. Which was a terrible idea for the judge to suggest after we advised for them not to. I've talked to her twice since then.

    my grandmother was the family's backbone. Literally. She helped everyone out with bills, paid for food, paid for some family members entire bills,. She gave gave and gave, but no one ever really returned her favors. I always tried to not have any help from her money wise. She did buy my first car for me, paid a few hospital bills for me ($2,000+), and helped with the down payment of my second car and paid for some fixes to both cars. Other than that, I would deny any money she would offer me. She cooked for me all the time. did my laundry, everything. Even when I would try and stop her from doing it all. She'd push me away and insist that she's "got it".

    So I packed up all my belongings and, along with my girlfriend, found a place that happened to be blocks down from where my father lives. So now my father is in my life more than before while my mother is in my life even less. Even though I have the company of my woman, I still feel lonely, lost, confused, hopeless. I'd say I'm coping with her death pretty well, but I also think I'm having a hard time dealing with it all. There was a huge fight over who had the rights to her checking account. She had me as cosigner on her account incase something were to happen, I'd be able to pay bills and sign checks. Well sure enough, 3 months later in February she fell in the kitchen. Went into a nursing home to heal, and drastically declined in health. She was on lots of drugs, ended up not being able to speak to us, unable to eat, struggled to drink, etc. She spent the last two months in her own home. At least the family had a great Christmas with the right family members (some weren't there and thank god!). I made her a lampshade with old photos of her and her husband all around it. Got it on video. She didn't cry but I could tell she was crying inside. The one Christmas that really meant something for me.

    The last few months before all this happened, I didn't spend much time around my grandmother at all. I spent most of it at work and the rest with my girlfriend, even though we all lived in the same house. Me and my girlfriend would stay in my room for hours playing games, smoking, etc. But something kept telling me that I needed to spend more time with my grandmother. I never allowed myself to. I would visit her more often in the nursing home than the other family members. But it got too hard to see her in her condition. I couldn't go anymore without balling my eyes out. When she finally came home for those last two months I still couldn't force myself to spend a lot of time next to her (she was bed ridden a month after her fall till she died). There would be times where my grandmother would tell my mother that she wanted me next to her, in which I would come from upstairs, sit next to her holding her hand, rubbing her knee. The few times I did spend with her were special. We watched the fireworks on tv for July 4th (really glad I got this moment with her). As we were watching the fireworks, she looked at me and with every ounce of energy, asked me to hold her hand. I held her hand and just cried and cried and cried. She managed to tell me to stop crying in which I told her I was trying to stop. I assured her I would live my life for her when her time was to come and to live my life to my fullest potential. Pretty much spilled out all my feelings onto her. She never said a word, she just closed her eyes the whole time I was talking to her. I knew she was crying because when she had finally opened her eyes after I was done talking, I saw a single tear slowly stream down her face.

    My mom and her sister were the ones that took care of her in regards to turning her in bed, cleaning, etc. However, I knew how she felt about her children and she wasn't very proud of them. They would constantly bug her, force her to take her pills, watched whatever they wanted on the TV, etc. I feel like they made her two months at home worse than if she were to have stayed in the nursing home. I wish I had more time with her alone, but I never got time to be alone after she came home. It was so frustrating, I just wanted to tell my mom and my aunt how shitty they are and to just leave her alone and let me be around her. I would try hinting a few things to them, but they were so ignorant they didn't even realize how miserable they were making her. I had no control, no willpower, and no courage to stand up for my grandmother. I feel like I let her down. I never really appreciated all that she had done for me over the years. It took this terrible accident to realize how great of a mother my grandmother really was. She never called me her grandson, always called me her son, and now I lost all of that. I just don't care anymore, I'd rather end it all so me and her can finally spend an eternity together so I can finally appreciate the time I have with her. But I'm not weak enough to end my life. But I fear as the years go on, that idea might become easier to do. I have no family as far as I'm concerned now, I have only two people I can call friends and I rarely talk to them anymore. I just have my girlfriend and myself and the memories of my wonderful grandparents. My girlfriend is the best motivation I have, but I feel like she's not even enough motivation for me. I feel so worthless now and just flat out miserable. I have no purpose in life as of right now except to make my girlfriend happy. I love her so dearly, she reminds me so much of my grandmother. Maybe that's why I got with her. This is the longest relationship I've had with any girl.


    I hope whoever reads this reads from beginning to end.


    On top of all that, I just ran into a friend of my brothers this month. He was one of my brothers friends who was worth having as a friend. Good guy, not a drug user, etc. My brothers been in prison for a long time now. I ran into him when my one of two friends told me he had a weed guy that could get me something. We went to his house, watched a movie in the dark. Then a guy came into his house, turned out being my brothers friend. Never thought I would have seen him again and I'm glad I did, because two weeks later (last night) I went to his house to grab a bag, he told me he had bad news, that the guy had shot himself last Sunday. He said there was no note, no reason him or his friends and family could tell. He said he was having good relations with work, family, friends, was about to buy their neighbors car. Him and his brother had a long deep talk the night before, hugged and said they loved each other. He then told me that most people who do commit suicide are usually good at hiding their reasons. Then I started thinking that that's exactly how I am. I don't talk about my problems with anyone. That got me fearing that I'd do the same thing at one point.








     
  17. Hey folks, its been a while. Hang in there though, I'm just working part time right now and have been without friends locally for a while, i cant even remember; my three buddies live out of state. A girl? I laugh when they ask me. May seem lame being that i'm 22. Its not bad though, more tree for me! [​IMG] Plus, GC helps


    Asthamatic, that's some heavy stuff. Stay strong man. I really cannot say much else to that...and yes, I read it through
     
  18. I'm feeling pretty damn lonely right now
     
  19. *BIG HUGS*
     

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