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I feel like my life is going no where.


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#1
SonicYouth

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Ever since I've graduated high school, I've felt as if I'm going nowhere with my life. I can happily say I have a boyfriend I've been with for a year or so now, but he's literally the only stable thing in my life (and I know it's not healthy to rely on a boyfriend/girlfriend.) Anyways, through high school I always assumed things would work themselves out once I graduated and for a while it seemed it would. I got a job, but that only lasted 3 months, and I've been jobless since, which is now 6 months. That was really the only job I've had before, and being 19 makes it so employers are picky. I did terrible in highschool, so now my grades have left me with few options for schooling.. I literally have no clue what I want to do with my life at all. I'm having an extremely hard time finding a job, I just found out recently my mom has a form of cancer, and my dad is getting biopsys for a huge lump in his neck. We have hardly any money at this point, and it's extremely stressful knowing they have to pay for thousands and thousands of dollars on different tests, and surgeries for both parents. I've lost almost all my friends since graduation, because I've been either always picking my boyfriend over them, or my social anxiety works up and I am to afraid to go out and socialize. It intimidates me so fucking much that all of my friends have left, moved away, go to university or have a full time job of some sort, and I'm stuck doing nothing. I literally just lay in my bed, sometimes read, play video games from time to time, smoke weed and hang out with my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I know there's worst out there but I feel so alone and have no where to go. I just want to know if anyone else has dealt with social anxiety like this, or lost their friends and made a turn around? I really just want my life back, I want to feel wanted by others beside my boyfriend, and I want a life. I know this will come off as whiny to some and if you found it whiny, please don't try to make me feel like shit about it.. I just want some suggestions if there are any.. thanks.

Edited by SonicYouth, 06 June 2012 - 09:03 PM.


#2
ChristianIs40

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Well nothing will change until you do something about it. Instead of laying in bed playing video games all day.. Go out and exercise.. Do something productive.. Find a hobby. I'm 19 almost 20 and honestly you shouldn't stress yourself out so much. You feel like you have no life but you're only just removed from highschool... Time to take initiative and make positive changes ;)

Good luck

#3
Korpins

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I have a week and a half left of my senior year and my life is like this already. No girl to speak for me though so I'm in solitude a fucking lot. I have yet to get a job and to be honest I don't care about working which is not good. I'm just lost as all hell, and I live a comfortable "sheltered child" life, fucking hate this. your not alone
  • As Above So Below likes this

#4
MarleyIsaLegend

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I've had that feeling. It'll fade away eventually. This joint goes out to you bud:)

#5
bsuttoi

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Take out a loan, go to school, get a good job, pay off your loans, help your parents pay their hospital bills, buy a house, built a garden, plant your vegetables and live.

#6
jizzledfreq

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Things will get better but only if you want them too. I remember being 20 living at home with my mom for literally a year and a half, I did absolutely nothing everyday. I stayed up all night on the computer doing a whole lot of nothing, in the day I slept, and when I awoke I did the same routine.

ONE AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS!

I got into a long distance relationship, we were totally into each other, she paid for me to move out here and we moved in together, I got a job, lost said job, found another job which I just recently lost. We had a baby girl on April 6th, unplanned but seriously the best thing that ever happened to us.

I'm planning on returning back to school this fall, and in high school my grades weren't the best either, I literally was almost not about to walk with the rest of my class, I scraped by.

Seriously you have to think more positively, no matter how negative you are feeling you can still put that energy into positive thoughts.

Negative thoughts and emotions only attract more negative things into your life

#7
Atlantise

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Go to church.

#8
Ironic

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Unless you have a source of clean pee and the proverbial balls to cheat on a drug test, stop smoking weed. You should be saving any cash you have to pay your parents a little rent if they are really struggling bad.

Exercise is a good thing, like the poster above suggested. I'm actually on a bike at the gym right this very moment. They also suggested planting vegetables..I suggest couponing. I live with my mom and she pays for groceries so I figure the least I can do is go to the store for her and scour the papers and Internet for coupons for stuff we need anyway. If you guys are struggling I bet you can get food stamps. Since you're online anyway, why don't you apply?

Check Craigslist, apply at the mall. It's summer, they're hiring. Apply for financial aid and grants and see how much tuition is at the local community college.

There is always a better thing to do then sleep/compute the day away

#9
the cole phelps

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Well nothing will change until you do something about it. Instead of laying in bed playing video games all day.. Go out and exercise.. Do something productive.. Find a hobby. I'm 19 almost 20 and honestly you shouldn't stress yourself out so much. You feel like you have no life but you're only just removed from highschool... Time to take initiative and make positive changes ;)

Good luck


The name of this songs sums up that comment. It's easier said than done

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ6bRVsP9QI]Eazy E "Easier Said Than Done" - YouTube[/ame]

#10
Thekidthatshigh

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Stop smoking bud for 4 years and join the military..

#11
ChristianIs40

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The name of this songs sums up that comment. It's easier said than done

Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ6bRVsP9QI


Yeah I said it would be easy.

#12
nawky

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All I can say is... If I can do this you can do this...... Plant some veggies.

If you do it anything like me you will be eating good at the end of the season

#13
shank

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holy fucking shit...you sound exactly like me
but a girl version..this is me exept i just turned 18 in april
I just graduated, i did absolutly horrible in school, i have had my girlfriend for 20 months now.. i dont really have any friends exept one i blaze with a couple days a week. i broke my arm at the begining of the year and i fell into a spiral of lazyness and depression *depression was before arm * i feel like my girlfriend could be bored or sick of me..or just wanting to be able to be with other guys..i dont know if its me just being paranoid or not. Like im scared to socialize too and im really shy and awkard but i never feel like i fit in or if i say something they gonna think im stupid .. idk where im getting at but im high. y

you just have to find somethign to motivate your self with..a hobby anything..my friends helping me ride my dirt bikes more often by him coming over, and ive always just wanted to ride motorbikes..try harder to get your job, i know i have to as well.. but once we start getting money we can save for things we want and go out more, more direction and reason in life idk..soz lol

#14
GillyTHEkid

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I hate to say this but that's just life. It has to ups and down but after a period of downs you will see the bright side so you gotta just get through it.

I'd say you should try as hard as you can to get a job. I think you have too much time on your hands so you ponder on negative thoughts so you gotta get busy.

Plus you can support your self cuz u said a lot of money will be spent on your parents. I really do hope for the best of them.

Keep looking for that job and don't get discouraged. You will get through this adversity.

#15
SonicYouth

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Yeah, thanks for the input everyone. I have been applying at tons of places lately, no where is hiring me, I need to get my license first for it to be easier to get around for jobs.. I think a lot of things will feel better once I get the job and license down. Sorry if my post felt like I was complaining a lot, just have been really depressed lately and felt it was okay to post a rant here.. I suppose it's a good thing that I'm aware of my laziness, depression and situation right now and am going to try and do something about it, I just need to actually do it now.. Bleh.

#16
smokehound

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Dress like a slut! =P

You'll get LOTS of attention. hahaha

#17
ItsHer

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I wish you the best sweetie

#18
gobble wobble

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it all comes down to you to make shit happen. You wont wake up one day and have the world handed too you. Want a good job? then go fuckin get it! quit toking till you have a job or career and know what you want out of life

#19
pphhiillyy

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Hey i couldnt help but reply to this because ive felt exactly the same way. Although i wasnt as unfortune as you have it right now but seriously keep your head up. I know how youre feeling - that feeling of your life not going anywhere but your graduates seem to be having the best time of their lives. But like what other guys are saying only you can change your life and the outcome. Dont be scared that once things are picking up for you that you might not have it in you to make it through - because anything is possible. Change is good i hope you can really burn that into your head. Ive been getting things going now for real and im afraid but keep telling myself change is good. God if we were in the same location id love to be your friend and figure these kinds pf things together. Nevertheless, you need to have a mind of a hustler. Never ever give up on yourself and your family. Your time will come trust me. I dont wanna talk about my self too much but ive felt that way when my buddy of mine told me hea getting paid to have top education and already has 10gs saved up in his bank. I mean he was gifted and knew what he wnted to do but ive felt like i wasnt prepared enough for the real world and now is just a bum. But now i realize it doesnt matter. Just do you own thing. Get a job first anyjob that fits your schedule and start saving up. Thats probably the first thing you should do. Idk where you are but here in bc we have employment centres that help you make professional resumes and all the job listings in te area. Go to places like that and youll get a job soon enough. The point of this stupid long post is that: this feeling is nothing once you get over it. Its kinda the same shit as someone wanting to be the most popular guy in the school. Its nothing i hope i helped you in some way becasue i know life isnt fair and gets shitty sometimes.

#20
JuanRing

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Your life will only go where you take it. You can't expect anyone else to make anything happen, you have to. Once you know that, the sky's the limit.

But remember, no one, not even your loved ones, will take your life where you need it to go. Only you.




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