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Think twice before using mayo in sex


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#1
deadkndys

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A strange but (allegedly) true story emphasising the importance of food hygiene. A woman had been absent from college for a number of weeks When she returned one of her close friends was curious as to why she had been sick for so long. The following story emerged.

The woman and the boyfriend enjoyed involving food in their foreplay: Mars bars, cream, syrup, gravy, peanut Don't forget me! butter, you name it. One day the boyfriend, before going to work, made his sandwiches for the day, tuna and mayonnaise, leaving the leftover tuna mayo lying out on the kitchen top. He went to work, came home, had dinner and relaxes in for a night in with his girlfriend. Time passes and the pair of them get in the mood and start "doing the do". The boyfriend leaps up, after yodelling in the canyon for a while, and remembers the tuna Mayo.


He gets the tuna Mayo off the kitchen table and begins to slap it all over his girlfriend's body (applying voluminous amounts to her vaginal area) and starts to lick it off. Two days later, after their night of tuna Mayo lust has passed, the couple start to feel very ill. The boyfriend first, he seems to be unable to stop vomiting and the girlfriend later who keeps on getting severe stomach cramps. The boyfriend puts this down to eating the tuna Mayo that had been lying out uncovered all day, and sure enough his jippy belly soon eases off after day or so. His girlfriend, however,continues to feel ill, her pain worsening and her abdominal area becoming increasingly sore and tender. This goes on for a few more days until the girlfriend can't even get out of her bed for the pain in her crotch and abdominal area. So her boyfriend takes her to the doctors, who recommends she sees a gynecologist.

Thinking she may have cervical cancer, the gynecologist checks her out and to his horror discovers far inside the woman's vagina is a swarm of maggots that have been eating into her upper vaginal cavity. Apparently what happened was the tuna Mayo, after being left uncovered, in the sun, attracted a number of flies, who naturally laid their eggs, which the boyfriend ate and the girlfriend "incubated"!
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#2
OscarZetaAcosta

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#3
LotzoPlotz

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Fucking gross.. god damn, i wish i could unread this.

#4
pokesmot247

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Shouldve waited a few more days and we'd have less to worry about in the human gene pool. Crikey.....
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#5
KingStun10

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Fucking gross.. god damn, i wish i could unread this.


THIS^ man why would u share that story its fucked up lol

#6
ghostonvacation

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Really makes me hungry for some reason :confused_2:

edit: Yup, just made a sandwich with honey maple turkey, pepper jack colby cheese and cajun style mayo :yummy:

Edited by ghostonvacation, 22 May 2012 - 08:28 PM.


#7
ydidimakeths420

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[IMG]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i839.photobucket.com/albums/zz320/Royal_Spazness/Gifs/puking.gif&imgrefurl=http://forum.surfermag.com/forum/showflat.php?Cat%3D0%26Number%3D1885625%26page%3D0%26fpart%3Dall%26vc%3D1&h=256&w=398&sz=4240&tbnid=V2apyzkUtFly4M:&tbnh=90&tbnw=140&zoom=1&docid=rOvwWg554YeyTM&sa=X&ei=fvW7T6ScJ4rH6AHEmuDcCg&ved=0CGcQ9QEwAw&dur=419[/IMG]

Edited by ydidimakeths420, 22 May 2012 - 08:27 PM.


#8
PositiveAttitudeMachine

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I am oddly aroused....

#9
Lizzysweet

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Posted Image

#10
Mason420

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What.........The fuck?!?!?!


Was not expecting that, God I don't even like mayo.. and after reading this I will never eat it as long as I live.. unless it's out of some vagina :ey:

#11
Tle

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theres also a story out there about starburst, the guy put them up in the girls pussy and ate her out while eating the starburst and apparently the guy didn't eat all of them and she had an insane infection and died, ill look up the article if anyone is interested lol

#12
TheDankDude

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WHY?!?!?!

People are stupid.

#13
justryingtogrow

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Sorry guys but there is no way this is true. Maggots only eat dead flesh and wouldnt just start munching down on her vaginal cavity. Look it up, they even use maggots medicinally to get rid of excess dead tissue in a wound.

Cool/gross story though

#14
Guest_fallen in smoke_*

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wow thats pretty vile!

#15
Liveola

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Sorry guys but there is no way this is true. Maggots only eat dead flesh and wouldnt just start munching down on her vaginal cavity. Look it up, they even use maggots medicinally to get rid of excess dead tissue in a wound.

Cool/gross story though


Dam you beat me to it.

This story reminds me of another one where this chick got all horny, so she fucked herself with a hotdog. Some of it broke off and she couldn't retrieve it. Weeks later her parents were complaining about her "odor" and she embarrassingly had to tell them, thus them taking her to the hospital.

#16
deadkndys

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Sorry guys but there is no way this is true. Maggots only eat dead flesh and wouldnt just start munching down on her vaginal cavity. Look it up, they even use maggots medicinally to get rid of excess dead tissue in a wound.

Cool/gross story though

I find that hard to believe in my dogs last hours she had maggots eating her ( on her back) because she couldn't walk and pissed and shat where she was.

Obviously she wasn't dead at the time.

#17
justryingtogrow

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I find that hard to believe in my dogs last hours she had maggots eating her ( on her back) because she couldn't walk and pissed and shat where she was.

Obviously she wasn't dead at the time.


The dog doesnt have to be dead to have rotten tissue in it. And dude its not my opinion, its a scientific fact. They dont eat live anything.

#18
pokesmot247

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The dog doesnt have to be dead to have rotten tissue in it. And dude its not my opinion, its a scientific fact. They dont eat live anything.


Perhaps the rotten tuna fish caused an infection in the girl, which led to cell death in her vaginal cavity, which led to maggots eating her dead tissue. As a person who stands by a scientific fact, it's bizarre to me that you can find maggots eating the dead tissue of a living dog a normal occurance but maggots eating the tissue of a living human incomprehendable when you yourself say that something doesn't need to be dead to contain dead tissue.

Logic.

#19
justryingtogrow

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Perhaps the rotten tuna fish caused an infection in the girl, which led to cell death in her vaginal cavity, which led to maggots eating her dead tissue. As a person who stands by a scientific fact, it's bizarre to me that you can find maggots eating the dead tissue of a living dog a normal occurance but maggots eating the tissue of a living human incomprehendable when you yourself say that something doesn't need to be dead to contain dead tissue.

Logic.


That would definitely be a possibility, but we can only LOGICALLY assume its not what happened. Because if it did, OP would have mentioned an infection. He didnt. Now your just making things up.

Haha but if you think Im about to sit here and argue with you over you adding your own parts to a bogus story your crazy mayne.

#20
Subliminal Jazz

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Perhaps the rotten tuna fish caused an infection in the girl, which led to cell death in her vaginal cavity, which led to maggots eating her dead tissue. As a person who stands by a scientific fact, it's bizarre to me that you can find maggots eating the dead tissue of a living dog a normal occurance but maggots eating the tissue of a living human incomprehendable when you yourself say that something doesn't need to be dead to contain dead tissue.

Logic.


No he's right though. Maggots don't eat live flesh. And just so we're clear, mayo doesnt have any such flesh decaying properties lololol

This is just another viral story. Op didn't even provide a link.




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