Life Woes (could use some love, advice, anything that's not negative)

So about a year ago I met my now ex girlfriend at work, she told my boss she liked me, my boss told me, i asked to chill, ended up liking her back, asked her to be my GF, she said yes. yay.

THE PROBLEM: now when i had starting seeing her, she had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship about a month previous to have started seeing me. she said the last year of said relationship was bad; full of fighting, neglect, yadayadayada.

so anyway, about a month into OUR relationship, i realize she still has a lot of feelings for her ex, and although she doesn't want to be his girlfriend anymore, she still loved him and missed him. anyway so i start to get jealous when she shows me the texts he sends her saying that he wants to fuck and how he misses her.

i asked her to stop talking to him and she refused saying she doesn't have to report to me, and that she want's to figure out why he dumped her and she wants closure.

so i accept that despite it making me incredibly uneasy.

so we broke up about 5 months in because i was saying negative things about her to an acquaintance of ours, and while they were mostly true, a lot of it was me being pissed off and having resentment to her still being in contact with her ex and still clearly being in love with him.

during this break up, he apparently asked to hang out, she said yes, they ended up having sex on 2 separate occasions.

then i started seeing her again, and although we weren't in an official committed relationship, i made it very clear i was to be the only man in her life. she assured me i was, and didnt tell me about her fucking her ex.

fast forward 4 months of us being basically *friends in love with benefits* is what i'm going to name it. she told me 3 days ago that she had sex with him during our breakup.

she said she told me because we're getting close again and she feels guilty. she said she loves me and although she doesnt want to date me because of our past and all of our fights, she still loves me and wants to see me.



i feel as if i've been officially cheated on. sure we werent officially dating, but i made it very clear i was to be the only guy, and she lied and said nothing had happened. furthermore she told me yesterday had i asked specifically if she had sex with him or not, she would've been upfront and honest about it. but apparently i didnt ask anything along those lines. i'm sure i asked if she saw him to which she said yes, but then she didnt include that she had sexual relations with him.


HOW DO I REACT. right now i feel crushed, betrayed, used, lied to, cheated, hurt, broken, etc. all i can think about is her ex fucking her and her enjoying it, i cant get it out of my head. her ex is asian and she said he has a tiny dick, but apparently something must be great or else she wouldnt have let it happen.

she said it was devoid of feeling, but if that was true then why did it happen a second time? all she has to say is i don't know.


sorry for all this typing, but i'm in a very bad place right now. i keep asking to spend time with her, i want to talk about this and understand i want her to show me she loves me because she tells me she does.

but all she has done is avoid seeing me. saying she's made plans with her friends and she can't cancel. things like working out at the gym yesterday, and today she was going shopping at a strip mall. i essentially begged and pleaded her to cancel, asking her if she loved me she would cancel such petty things to be with me during this extremely difficult time in my life.


i asked why she's avoiding me and she said i'm being dramatic and that she loves me but she cant handle me at the moment.



i feel worthless and unloved beyond measure at the moment. my last relationship was awful but this one is even worse. i dont understand and all i want to is get peace of mind and move on. but im in love with her and since she is acting to distant for some reason it is making me try and be with her and i really dont want to, because to be honest her actions disgust me. she is essentially a whore in my eyes.

im in love with a whore

and i just learned that she has been seeing him the past 4 months too, i hope to god she hasn't been fucking him this entire time or i'll be devastated. she told me that he's not worth losing me over and that she doesnt talk to him or see him anymore...

that was clearly a lie.


why am i still sticking around? i'm ashamed of myself. i clearly know shes a bad person here yet I'M chasing after her. someone get a fucking gun and put me out of my misery i'm pathetic. i want to drink myself stupid and never wake up right now.

this is killing me blades haven't been this anxious and depressed in a long ass time.

Damn dude, that definitely sucks and all but saying those kinda things never helps, and definitely doesn't help yourself. Yeah go get drunk if you need to, it happens, definitely been there many times, but don't do anything you would regret... (and no driving!) please. The day my ex (baby mama) broke up with me I got shitfaced and drove around all night, and she ended up calling the cops on me for a well-being check, trust me, drinking rarely really helps, but I def know where you're at.

I know what you mean for sure, I'm not gonna even touch my side of things haha. All I gotta say is any girl that goes out and sleeps with anyone, much less an ex, when you've been on a break for a little bit is a whore. Plain and simple, I'm sure hundreds of guys will tell you just on GC. One sided relationships, especially when it gets to the point of love or 'love' are just the worst, I don't even know what to say past that.

But on the plus side of things, as much as it sucks and you feel like shit and feel alone etc, there are other girls out there, better girls, more trustworthy girls. You'll get over it, and forget all about that bitch and will move on to better and brighter things, trust me on that.
I think you said it yourself, she cant even MAKE TIME for YOU after all that she put you through??? fuck that man, you need to break it off now, and stick to it, that's the only way. Just know you're not alone, chill with good people and try to move on, I'm not saying its easy, but really what you need to do for yourself. (imo...) best of luck

Edited by ThePot, 10 May 2012 - 09:59 PM.

Damn dude, that definitely sucks and all but saying those kinda things never helps, and definitely doesn't help yourself. Yeah go get drunk if you need to, it happens, definitely been there many times, but don't do anything you would regret... (and no driving!) please. The day my ex (baby mama) broke up with me I got shitfaced and drove around all night, and she ended up calling the cops on me for a well-being check, trust me, drinking rarely really helps, but I def know where you're at.

I know what you mean for sure, I'm not gonna even touch my side of things haha. All I gotta say is any girl that goes out and sleeps with anyone, much less an ex, when you've been on a break for a little bit is a whore. Plain and simple, I'm sure hundreds of guys will tell you just on GC. One sided relationships, especially when it gets to the point of love or 'love' are just the worst, I don't even know what to say past that.

But on the plus side of things, as much as it sucks and you feel like shit and feel alone etc, there are other girls out there, better girls, more trustworthy girls. You'll get over it, and forget all about that bitch and will move on to better and brighter things, trust me on that.
I think you said it yourself, she cant even MAKE TIME for YOU after all that she put you through??? fuck that man, you need to break it off now, and stick to it, that's the only way. Just know you're not alone, chill with good people and try to move on, I'm not saying its easy, but really what you need to do for yourself. (imo...) best of luck

thanks man. you're completely right. i told a few people my problem and they said the exact same thing. i just need to realize that i'll miss her for a few months and then i'll wake up one day and i wont give a shit about her anymore, because fuck her she doesn't deserve it.

i forgave her however, i told her im not mad, just that im too hurt to stick around anymore. plus she is a whore and i dont respect whores

Good Job bro. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I get tthe whole chasing her even though she's a "whore"

Its hard to let someone go

But dude
In all honestly

Leave her

I know its a lot easier said than done
But it'll help you out in the future

If your already having problems now imagine the future
And it'll be impossible to forget that she fucked that Asian dude

And a cheater is always a cheater man

Girls can be just as bad as guys no matter how sweet a girl may seem


My opinion?
Leave her and get over get before you get too attached
cuz when you get used to her and shit
It'll be impossible to leave her and you'll be having worse problems than u do now


I've been in your shoes plenty of times with plenty of girls and its not worth it at all man, especially if your young

try listening to this and ill be damned if it doesnt at least improve your mood slightly:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCZ4RPpsdlY]Shpongle - Levitation Nation - YouTube[/ame]

She slept with a single guy while you were broken up and you are calling her a whore? The fuck is wrong with you bro?

Quit acting like you are the only one in any pain and think about her feelings, surely she is going through some shit also.

She slept with a single guy while you were broken up and you are calling her a whore? The fuck is wrong with you bro?

Quit acting like you are the only one in any pain and think about her feelings, surely she is going through some shit also.

He asked for positive vibes, regardless of his situation. Gtfo, please.

OP, I know how it is. Women make you crazy, they can ruin you without knowingly doing anything.

Pretty much what you have to do is quit messing around with her. Be alone for a while then, give it a year and go have fun. In time you'll realize she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

Look at it this way, most of my friends are married at my age right now. Yet, I know that I'm not "mature" enough relationship-wise to get myself back into a relationship. You gotta know when to hold em, and you gotta know when to fold them.

The hardest thing to do is move on, but its life, and life is too short to be down for even a day.

Spark a joint, go for a walk, and listen to some music. It's your life, her issues are hers.

He asked for positive vibes, regardless of his situation. Gtfo, please.

OP, I know how it is. Women make you crazy, they can ruin you without knowingly doing anything.

Pretty much what you have to do is quit messing around with her. Be alone for a while then, give it a year and go have fun. In time you'll realize she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

Look at it this way, most of my friends are married at my age right now. Yet, I know that I'm not "mature" enough relationship-wise to get myself back into a relationship. You gotta know when to hold em, and you gotta know when to fold them.

The hardest thing to do is move on, but its life, and life is too short to be down for even a day.

Spark a joint, go for a walk, and listen to some music. It's your life, her issues are hers.

Was going to post advice.


Nothing I was going to say would have been said better than this.

Let's have a good vibes Friday:smoke:

He asked for positive vibes, regardless of his situation. Gtfo, please.

Perhaps he shouldnt post on a public forum if he only wants the positive reactions.

Perhaps he shouldnt post on a public forum if he only wants the positive reactions.

Or maybe you should realize this is an adult website. If you can't act like a mature adult and follow Rule #1 of Respecting other members, you can simply leave.

Your attitude won't fly around here, so get off your high horse before it gets you banned. Because we don't need negative immature vibes such as your own on the City.

Or maybe you should realize this is an adult website. If you can't act like a mature adult and follow Rule #1 of Respecting other members, you can simply leave.

Your attitude won't fly around here, so get off your high horse before it gets you banned. Because we don't need negative immature vibes such as your own on the City.

Report me if im breaking the rules.

Sorry I dont coddle everybody.

Perhaps he shouldnt post on a public forum if he only wants the positive reactions.

perhaps you shouldn't post on a public forum if you're only going to look down on everyone else.

Don't settle for less than you deserve, if you treated her well and were faithful to her you deserve the same amount of love and respect in return. It baffles me when men or women stay in relationships that are completely one sided especially when it's so obvious they're being taken advantage of. Ask yourself this, if you were talking to your ex for the past four months and had sex with her on multiple occasions do you think your current girl would stay with you, even if you guys were on a "break" when it happened?

Report me if im breaking the rules.

Sorry I dont coddle everybody.

That's alright, read my signature, its quite obvious what type of person you are


Anyways, yeah OP, just throw the immature "jugs" on ignore

perhaps you shouldn't post on a public forum if you're only going to look down on everyone else.

The dude is calling her a whore for sleeping with someone while they were broken up...

oh well

The dude is calling her a whore for sleeping with someone while they were broken up...

oh well

I don't expect someone of your caliber to understand the art of love.

That's alright, read my signature, its quite obvious what type of person you are

Its sad that you have to resort to loosely veiled personall attacks. Im happy with who I am, a raging asshole with a big heart.

Go forth and white knight on the internet some more, its really quite adorable.

Its sad that you have to resort to loosely veiled personall attacks. Im happy with who I am, a raging asshole with a big heart.

Go forth and white knight on the internet some more, its really quite adorable.

Ah it wasn't a personal attack. You came in looking down upon someone, so I make the observation you assume you are too good for us.

We asked you to leave simply so we could have a positive thread.