awkward public bathroom stories

im taking a shit in mcdonalds as im reading this...

But no awkwardness... yet?

 

Lmfaooooo I didn't even read past "I'm thinking wtf I'm out of here" I immediately died laughing.

 

i went on a fishing boat for blues,
and i dont normally go on a boat so my stomach was kinda sketchy,
and i just ate a shitty mcdonald breakfast,
i tried holding it in the whole time,
because of the fact that i didnt want to smell up the super small boat bathroom with shitty flushing,
and cause a scene for the hot chicks on the boat from the smell,
so i went in and locked the door,






and a fuckin dude opens the door with me sitting there wipin' my ass..

good thing they were already drunk..

 

One time I was in a walmart bathroom and i look down and see some nice black business shoes in the stall next to me and i thought i was done pissing so i turned and pissed all over his shoes and he punches the stall and goes ''FUCK!!!''. It was pretty funny...

 

I was at a grocery store once and had to use the restroom very badly. I walk towards the bathrooms and I see a sign saying men. Little to my knowledge a woman was covering the 'wo' part. I walked in and saw no urinals so I got into a stall because women were coming inside haha. Had to wait for everyone to get out and then after walked out as fast I could haha so embarrassing.

 

Took my niece to Chuck E. Cheese about a year ago. Went into the bathroom and there's this little girl, about five years old, and she comes up to me with her shirt pulled up to her mouth and her pants unbuttoned and unzipped and says, "will you protect me?" I kind of backed away at first because I was by myself and if someone had walked in, it would NOT have looked good. I didn't want anyone to think I'd harmed her. So I asked her what was wrong and she said that she was afraid of Chuck and he was outside in the play area. I told her she was safe, that it was a girls bathroom and he was a boy so he couldn't come in. I was still panicking because she still hadn't put her shirt down or fastened her pants (this all happened within like 1-2 minutes). Another girl comes in the bathroom, about 7 or 8 years old, and goes up to the girl. I asked the older girl if she knew the younger one, and she said yes, that she was her cousin. Needless to say, I felt a lot better. Since I didn't piss my pants, I proceeded into a stall as if nothing happened, lol.

I still shudder when I think about it. Could have turned out a whole lot worse..

 

I'm sorry to hear that, man. it must really suck having to do that kind of shit. or should I say clean that shit (literally).

but anyway, I just wanted to point out that most people don't do it because they can't use a toilet.

 

Alright so there's a three urinals right next to each other at my school and I walk. No one else is there so I made the mistake of taking the middle urnial of the three and not a second later my girl friends dad and step dad walk in and take the urinal on either side talk about awk

 

I got one. This was my senior year of h.s. (last year so I remember it pretty well). Anyway there was this kid who I had been in school with since 1st grade or w/e and he always had some kind of deficiency where hes basically just really short.. 4 foot something kinda thing. I am 6'2".

So I hit up the bathroom during one of those busy moments and I know like 5 people in there..so I am making some solid bathroom talk.. and finally a urinal opens up next to this kid.

I go to do my thing, unzip.. before I even take it out- this dude like full on turn his head to look at my dick (that wasn't even out yet..) as if it was like a prized moment.

Now, I'm not too self conscious (swimmer n stuff...) but like c'mon..he is like at the height of my dick almost, and starting at it.. (maybe a foot taller..but i feel like hes gunna try and suck or something.)

So i stop what im doing, and answer some kid who asked me a question..I answer, go to take it out again, and he looks again.. so i respond again to the kid I was talking to.

Finally the kid finishes and leaves and I can take a piss..but uh...yah..

 

This was back when I was in my early twenties, and went to Manhattan with some friends to hang with my cousin. For whatever reason, I decided to get rip roaring drunk, and was just an ass. I remember leaving the bar with about nine pint glasses stuffed in pockets...yeah, just retarted.

We go to a bar, and I just sit down. A girl walks by, I tell her to sit because I think she is hot. Well, we were talking about about ten minutes ( I was an ass to the waitress, and she prevented me from getting kicked out of the place)

soon, I told her i had to take a piss, and she went to. Well, we start kissing, and we go into the guys bathroom that had one stall. As we were kissing, she told me she was on her period. I told her I wasn't ( thinking BJ time!! LOL!!)

we go into the stall and I sit down on the toilet. We are kissing, and the next thing I know she throws her bloody tampon in the toilet, and tells me she is going to ride me ( I wasn't even sure what that meant) So, she does, and a couple of times people came in, so we were quiet.

After she is done, ahe says she will suck me off, and I look down and just see blood ( I was so fucking drunk, when I was fucking her, I didn't even feel it)

Now, the awkward part:

When we walked out of the bathroom the whole bar started applauding. I thought someone just did their 21st shot or something, so I start applauding. My lovely had to turn around and inform me they were clapping because of us...Oh.

Awkward.

 

[quote name='"xpixiex"']I've dropped a few logs on the floors of public restrooms before. What of it?[/quote]

I seriously hope you're joking.. I curtosey clerk at albertsons and we have to clean it up, it takes 1-2 hrs and I'm behind on all of my shit...disrespectful

 

Alright, so this is my awkward bathroom experience...

I think was around 9-12 years old I don't really remember my exact age. Anyways I was camping with my friend and his family at some campsite, we were in an RV so it wasn't really camping but w/e. Before dinner i realize i really have to shit, so i go to the bathroom(not in the rv thank god) and its a decent ways to this bathroom so by the time i get there im thinking that im not guna make it...

I go to the last stall and dont have time to sit down or put anything on the seat, i get my pants off as far as i can in the time i had before i was going to explode. my pants are about half way down and im at a 45 degree angle to the seat, not even sittin on it. when i have the worst diarrhea ever. that shit just explodes out everywhere, luckily no one was in the bathroom, but i made a fucken mess, some was on the walls and shit i dont even know how. so i try to clean myself up as best as i can..

When im walking out of the bathroom, i look down at my leg and realize i had poop all over the back of my leg, so im like fuck and go back in to clean up again, the stall looked disgusting...

Anyways i make it back to the Rv where they are eating, i sit down and start to eat, my friend was commenting how it stunk like shit, i tried to play it cool and say it was the broccoli that smelled.

After dinner my buddy goes to take a shit, and of course notices, and im pretty sure him and his whole family knew it was me, but i denied that shit for days...

Yeah pretty fuckin awkward..

 

Hahaha some of these stories are golden

 

I was standing in the bathroom next to my dads good friend from back in the day, they were both stoners just found out my dad was a dealer (completely irrelevant to story) and a kid walked in.
There was two urinals that we were both at and the kid ran up to my dads friend and poked his head around his waist laughed and ran out of the bathroom. Extremely random and kind of awkward if i had to guess the kid was around 6.

 

Lmfao this one time i went into the bathroom at stop n shop to go piss, and there was a guy in one of the stalls. He was making sounds like "HOOOOOOOOOHHHRRR" and "UUUUGGGGGHHHH" i started laughing so hard, so hard i think i might of missed the urinal a bit lol.

 

One time at the movies my twin brother and i went into the bathroom and we just hear this guy in a stall like panting. we held in our laughter and i tried to go into the only open stall, which was right next to the panting guy's when all of a sudden he just starts loudly groaning and saying ow... i quickly exited the bathroom where we could hear him from outside... we think he was constipated or something



also once i accidentallly went into the girls bathroom and dropped a deuce in the stall and when i come out this girl was just standing outside the stall holding her face making awkward eye contact with me. so i asked her what she was doing in the mens restroom and then i looked around and noticed the lack of urinals.... she never replied and i just left... awkwardly

 

I was doing security at a mall, and there was a homeless guy jerking off next to the sinks in the bathroom. We told him to stop, he threatened to jizz on us. We sent him to the floor

 

I was in the Prudential Center in Boston in a stall with someone in the stall next to me taking a shit. These two Asian kids came in and were speaking very loudly in what was presumably Korean. I could see them through the stall standing at the urinals next to each other continuing to speak loudly while pissing. All of a sudden out of nowhere I hear the man in the stall next to me (who sounded like a huge motherfucker) shout at the top of his lungs...SHUT THE FUCK UP! I see the two kids look at each other, quickly shake themselves off, and run out of the bathroom without stopping to wash their hands. The disgruntled grizzly bear then continues to shit in peace as I nope the fuck out of there.