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awkward public bathroom stories


 

#1
Geebee

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Ill start.

So, it all starts out with my family and I going to a chinese restaurant. It was a buffet and it was pretty good. Right before were about to leave, I head to the bathroom. As soon as I walk in, I notice someone took a shit right on the ground nowhere near the toilets. I was thinking wtf? I'm out of here.

I walk down the street to the kmart to use their bathrooms because I don't wanna have some awkward situation happen with the turd on the ground. So I walk in the kmart bathroom and there are two stalls. I open the first one and its just a mess, clogged, shit everywhere. I go to the second one and sit my ass down. Right then, a very big dude with a deep voice aged about 65-70 walks in and opens the first stall. He goes in and just starts cursing like sailor.
"What the fuck is wrong with thesemotherfucking toilets god damnit!" And shit like this.

It was awkward cause he knew I was in the next one so he jut walked out and I laughed my ass off.

Your turn.
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#2
LeroyDankins

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#3
BuRnTrEeS247

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Wtf thread won't ever make it..
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#4
Wykyd_Green

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I was at the local community college and I had to piss like a race horse. I damn near ran to the closest bathroom and into the urinal, as I am releasing pressure I slowly look up to eye level and there lies an extra large pair of polka-dot panties right on the flusher knob.

Needless to say I did not flush, and someone left their trophy haha.
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#5
Soccerguy420

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Wtf thread won't ever make it..


Bullshit, funny stuff like this happens all the time.

And what does it mean for a thread to "make" it?

All threads are threads, bud.
  • zepourri, Wizards, tetoleetd and 9 others like this

#6
CaressaRosee

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Bullshit, funny stuff like this happens all the time.

And what does it mean for a thread to "make" it?

All threads are threads, bud.


My thoughts exactly.
  • Pancake Donkey, VoicelessPanda, Chucho559 and 1 other like this

#7
Im Stoned

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Other then people next to me having the shits and making hilariously loud farting noises, I cant think of anything.

I guess one time I was working at a restaurant where a baby had puked in the bathroom sink.. I got asked to clean it up, and got a free meal out of the deal. Not that awkward but a bathroom story lol. Oh and some homeless guy got kicked out of the restaurant for shitting and throwing it all over the bathroom.. That was before I was hired though, thank god.
  • BigxBiscuit47, Pancake Donkey, VoicelessPanda and 2 others like this

#8
cosbysweater

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Eh, I don't have any specific ones, but too many times when I'm in the bathroom washing up, some chick would come in, smile at me through the mirror, then head in a stall. What's the next thing I hear? Wet, loud farts, then the sound of them peeing. Like, the farts that they've obviously been holding in for a while. I just get the fuck out of there, even if I was in the middle of fixing something on my face or body. It's almost automatic; you fart, I'm out.
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#9
xpixiex

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I've dropped a few logs on the floors of public restrooms before. What of it?
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#10
MMM3

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Oh god... There are certain foods that just cause me to blow up. I can remember numerous occasions where I was forced to charge into a full public bathroom and unleash hell on the other occupants. The kind of trip to the crapper that assaults all your senses... Sound, smell and sight particularly. To anybody that may have felt like you were getting nerve gassed, I apologize. haha


///M

Edited by MMM3, 05 May 2012 - 10:41 PM.

  • TheBlackCops, shenanigans81, quadridinstoner and 1 other like this

#11
Dallasboy678

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I was driving down to Austin with my girlfriend at the time a few years ago. My girlfriend had the smallest bladder, and begged me to pull over so she could use the restroom. I was like "we're almost there, can't you hold it?" and she said no. Just to give you a picture, I was on the freeway and 5 exits away from my destination. I caved and pulled over and found myself driving around a really sketchy part of Austin. I went to a gas station and she asked for the restrooms and they said it was outside, and you needed a key to open it. They gave her a key and I was standing outside this bathroom trying to avoid getting robbed.
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#12
Im Stoned

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I guess now that I think about it I do remember my friend shitting in a urinal once. It was super funny at the time, probably because we were high, but looking back... What a dick move lol.
  • CJsmokeallday, Pancake Donkey, mjsmalls and 2 others like this

#13
mydaddyatemyeye

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this happened awhile ago, but at school I took a shit in the urinal because I was drunk as fuck (yeah I know don't do that yatta yatta) and then staked out in a stall to see funny reactions from people during passing period. damn it was tough as shit to hold back laughter.

after that I went to class and a lot of people were saying, "man, someone took a shit in a urinal, that shit was ridiculous." and I was like, "that's gross, man."
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#14
420tokerdude

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I was at my local chipotle baked out of my skull, I then got the white but all the 2 stalls were ovulied so I sprayed shit on the urinal, I felt so bad.

#15
TheDankDude

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Fuck everyone who has ever shit anywhere they were not supposed to, clogged a public toilet, or generally just fucked up a public restroom.

People have to clean that shit up. People like me.

I'm amazed at the inability of some people to use the toilet. I've seen it in urinals, smeared on walls, the floor...everywhere...
  • Hexx, virgin mary, LOSTBOY580 and 8 others like this

#16
Skeletor

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I dont really have "stories" But holy fuck i have caught too many men looking at my dick
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#17
ghostonvacation

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Oh man, taking me back to high school on this thread. I was bored as hell in Chemistry, around 9:30 A.M., decide I would rather roam the hallways then watch a movie in class so I bounce. I head towards the nearest bathroom, but for some reason it is closed :confused: As I approach the bathroom on the other side of the school I know something is going on. Sex...awkward, in school, high school SEX. I hear heavy breathing, I see two pairs of shoes under the handicap stall as I walk in. Once I enter, the pair of furry boots (which I presume belonged to the female) are lifted up out of sight, while the male stands up and acts like he is taking a piss. I begin using the urinal, but I realize that the people in this stall are still fucking around while I am pissing 10-12 ft away. I turn on the sink and everything, still movement in the stall. I was using the water fountain after I left and while I was walking down the hallway I saw the two of them leave the bathroom, she had a nice rack, I was jealous, still uncomfortable though.
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#18
Gryphonics

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You know that guy that pisses everywhere? That's me. Every single on of them.
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#19
Guest_Joerusalem_*

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When I was much younger I had the flu so my dad took me to blockbuster to rent me a video game to make me feel better. I told him what I wanted so he went in leaving me outside on the curb.
I started dry heaving so hard that I sharted myself in front of a blockbuster employee on their smoke break.

Más awk
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#20
Berzerker42500

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I have a few...

Me and my cousin used to go walking everywhere when we were younger.We'd walk from one end of town to the other,then back.We used to go to this record store where this guy Ronnie used to work.We'd always hang out when it was just Ronnie working and talk about music.

Now I knew Ronnie's younger brother,as him and Ronnie were cousins to my next door neighbor.For some reason though,I hadn't met Ron until we started hanging out at the record store.

So my cousin and I are walking through town and decide to stop at the movie theater to use the bathroom.We walk in and there is one stall and two urinals and a guy that is finishing up his piss at the urinal.

The guy turns to us and says "Damn,you could get laid in here!" and we all 3 start laughing and my cousin says "Oh shit,was that Ronnie?!" and he gets a weird look on his face and says "Fuck,I just shit my pants!"

The guy who he thought was Ronnie,was actually his younger brother.Atleast that is what our conclusion was.

He tried his best to clean it up in the bathroom,but was still a bit muddy.So he had to walk all the way back to my house(probably about a mile or two away)in his shitty underpants.Then I gave him a pair of boxers and he took a shower.

Sometimes when you think you farted,you better check yourself.Because you thought you farted,but instead you shit yourself!

Anyways,I'm in a hurry and will share some other bathroom stories later....I used to be a master of the custodial arts at a grocery store,so I've got some good shit. ;)
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