I think im a future alcoholic

Yeeeah me too. I got way to wasted this weekend and swore off the sauce for the week.

When I was trying to write my final story for my non fiction seminar this morning, I got pissed and couldn't think of anything to write. So I filled my coffee up with whiskey and went and sat by the pool.

Ironically that's a really good thing to write about, and that's exactly what I did. Alcoholism = win?

Eh, I could use a drink now too. I swear when the sun goes down and the days over, If I dont have a bong to rip I'm lookin for the sauce baby... eesh

 

You drink alone. Just stop THAT. I mean like a beer with dinner or somethin is cool and fine, but cheap vodka just to get drunk all by yourself? Bad news. Stop doing that. I don't buy AA propaganda either. I know alcoholics, I've been to all kinds of meetings and even researched it for college. It's called will power. It's harder for some, predispositions n such, but it's always possible. If you wanna do it, just toughen up and stop. It's all up to you. Being sober ain't so bad, you get a lot more done.

 

[quote name='"junkheadrev"']

Yeah I've never been a morning drinker.
If I drink I do it to get slammed.
And if I get slammed in the morning/mid day I end up feeling like shit.
If I do it in the afternoon/night I just sleep through it.[/quote]

You sound alot like me! It started out just a 40z! then shitty nasty beer, like steal reserve cause it has more alcohol! Then once that wasn't enough id drink two 40z, then realized I could get more drunk off a cheap 1/2 pint vodka for less then a 40z! Then after the 1/2 pint wasn't cuttin it, down to the store I go for another! Dude it gets worse! You start drinking in the morning to cure the shitty feeling you have for drinking the day before! The lining in your stomach eats away you get ulcers... wake up gagging and puking blood until noon... walk on down to get what will make you feel better more, being buzzed/drunk, vodka! You wont eat until you're drunk ... while everyone else at the bbq is eating you'll be drinking! Then it will cause problems with family/gf/fiance, you'll make promises not to drink, but you will! You will find a reason or accuses to drink! You have no idea how powerful this shit is! It will grab you by the balls... After this last weekend I swore to myself I wasnt gonna drink again for the 100 time... my fiance doesn't even listen cause ive told her so many times! Ive patched up over 20 holes in my house because of drunken stupid fights!....this all happened to me within the last 2 years and you think you got it under control until bam, one day you don't... I promised her I wouldn't drink today while she's at school... I want to go buy some cheap vodka even though I have money in my bank! ... im trying to convince myself if I just get a beer 40oz it will be better but I know it will ruin her day because im killing myself and she knows it and I know it but I cant stop!.. been to AA on my own and cause of a dui... walk right past it on my way to the liquor store! Oh and I want to stop... I feel guilty as hell but then I have a craving that just wont quit! Oh im irish/scottish dont think that really matters though, my dad was an alcoholic .... ehh I still have 40 mins to walk to the store get a beer, hop in the shower brush my teeth, she'll still know! Im pathetic its really sad and not as easy as some say!

 

[quote name='"ICGreen"']^^ What a great and honest first post. [/quote]

Im walking right now! Guilty as fuck cause im gonna have to look her in the eye and say my lame excuse! Its just a beer and in my heart its more then just a beer! Im not inspirational just saying the truth! Cause im in the shit!

 

[quote name='"ICGreen"']

Understandable, yet the honesty and the emotions may very well help others. You have shown that even with the knowledge of the outcomes, it is a strong mistress. I wish you strength in your battles. [/quote]

Yes she is, both of em...

 

Wish I could still neg' rep like old gc, because these posts just make me incredibly angry. Don't let them get to you, OP. Regardless, in case OP is still seeking answers I'll contribute a useful post...

AA worked wonders for most of my friends who fell into that trap. Most of them were doing... Unmentionables.. Which are quite hard to kick on top of the liquor habit and it worked for them. Although even they believed that AA members seem "self-rightous", they have all the reason to. Addiction is one of the hardest things to kick but you really have to put into perspective your quality of life and what you're doing to yourself, here.

Also, I was bothered by the fact your brought in your nationality and past. Just because both of my parents were alcoholics and I have a past of abuse on top of substance abuse doesn't mean I'll be the same... Just because it's impressed in your past doesn't mean you can't be the first who stays clean. Hope you feel better, man.

 

[quote name='"OneLove."']

Wish I could still neg' rep like old gc, because these posts just make me incredibly angry. Don't let them get to you, OP. Regardless, in case OP is still seeking answers I'll contribute a useful post...

AA worked wonders for most of my friends who fell into that trap. Most of them were doing... Unmentionables.. Which are quite hard to kick on top of the liquor habit and it worked for them. Although even they believed that AA members seem "self-rightous", they have all the reason to. Addiction is one of the hardest things to kick but you really have to put into perspective your quality of life and what you're doing to yourself, here.

Also, I was bothered by the fact your brought in your nationality and past. Just because both of my parents were alcoholics and I have a past of abuse on top of substance abuse doesn't mean I'll be the same... Just because it's impressed in your past doesn't mean you can't be the first who stays clean. Hope you feel better, man.[/quote]

Yeah I don't think nationality plays a part in it either.... just a stereo type! But having parents that are addicts does... I dont know why ... my dads seen me at my worst says im just lik'em tells me to stick to beers lol! Even though I know he doesn't want me to drink... im not like my friends and I can relate to the stories the ol'crusty dudes tell down at Alano(aa)! I'm 26 yrs

 

I was a heavy drinker for about a decade. Black out every night drinking a fifth plus a day. You just gotta quit man. There no magic bullet with alcohol you just have to stop drinking it. AA helps and so do some herbs like kudzu etc. but if you're not willing to stop then you won't. Trust me man, I know where you are at and it's not fun.

 

[quote name='"junkheadrev"']

Damn Bro that's a hell of a story.
I'm never been an angry person and am not an angry drunk.
I'm a talkative drunk when around people but if anything I get less aggressive when intoxicated.[/quote]

I don't consider myself a angry drunk! I do get in more fights then most and definitely more ballsy! But the holes in the walls weren't all from me!

 

Don't go to AA, it's a bunch of fucking bullshit. The relapse rate for those who attend AA is something like 90% within 5 years. Those aren't good odds. In my opinion, it's a waste of time.

Really what you need to do is look inside yourself and find out what makes you feel the need to drink. Like you said you need a "crutch", to get by. Why? I think you should reach out to your friends, not AA. Tell them your concerns. If they truly care about you they won't judge you and will support you in your endeavor of quitting drinking, or cutting down on your drinking.

The reason I say reach out to your friends and family for help instead of something like AA is your friends and family will still be with you years later, long after you would have stopped going to AA. You shouldn't hang out too much with friends who are always partying, or at least not when they party, because then it's just too much of a temptation.

Don't try to go cold turkey. Cut back to every other day, then weekends, then try to go some weekends without getting blitzed. You shouldn't have to give up drinking completely, forever. That's not the necessary goal. You just need to get your drinking back down to a level you can honestly feel good about.

There's nothing wrong with getting blitzed every weekend if you handle your shit during the week and that's what you want to do with you weekends.

 

^I don't necessarily agree with the part about AA, I'm sure it helps some people, but I totally agree with what you say about friends/family.

And yeah you don't necessarily need to quit, just find out why you drink, and majorly cut back. I think that when people place "taboos" on themselves it just tempts them even more =/

 

Exactly right about the taboo thing. It becomes the forbidden fruit that you can't have, instead of something you just do on the weekends or once in awhile.

Buts it's true what I said about AA, 90% relapse within 5 years. It might help some people but it's not nearly as good a treatment as the general public seems to think, the standard alcoholism advice is AA, and I just disagree. One of it's main principles is to accept that you are powerless over your addiction, which i vehemently disagree with. You're not powerless at all over it.

 

AA isn't a bunch of bullshit...

Those 90% don't go through all the step work with their sponsors, and they don't help other alcoholics. Theres a lot more to it than attending the meetings. Everyone who goes through all 12 steps by doing what their sponsor (someone who has experience and has done it before) is glad they've done so, whether they've had relapses or not.

Don't say somethings a 'bunch of fucking bullshit' when you likely don't know anybody who's done it the right way.

 

I'm not saying it doesn't work for anybody, 10% are still alcohol free after 5 years, but the fact remains it's not an effective treatment for 90% of the people who have participated in it.

I fundamentally disagree with AA's principle that you have to admit you are powerless over your addiction, when you really aren't. You DON'T need a higher power to help you like AA says, what you do need is friends and family who care about you, and I suppose AA provides that for some people, but I still think it much better to confess your problems to your real family and have them help you through it.

Point is, people can help themselves , they have all the power, and programs like AA are largely ineffective. That really isn't disputable. Sorry if I offended you.