Taken from another thread: our society teaches that most forms of interaction between males and females is unpleasant to females and could be considered sexual harassment. However, I started chilling with a couple new people lately and watched how they talked to women. Both, when buying things from the store referred to the young sales ladies as "babe" or "hon." I've always said miss or ma'am. I noticed that these girls flirted to the point that one forgot to ring up some items at checkout and I realized there is a game that goes on back and forth. Every time dude called the sales associate babe she smiled, which was culture shock to me, having grown up in a different generation and cultural setting, where one only refers to his significant other as babe, etc. How would you feel if someone referred to you that way? Say it was a good looking 40 year old fit, single guy. Just curious, as I took a class in college recently that preached how much women hate this type of stuff. Interested in your opinions. Thanks.
If the guy looked how you described, I would probably enjoy it. "Hon," more than "babe," as it's a little more endearing and a little less creepy. I wouldn't flirt, but it would probably bring a smile to my face. I also like when I'm working and people read my name tag and refer to me by name. "Miss" is a little more formal and impersonal. I guess the idea is that the girl you're talking to will make assumptions based on what you call her and react accordingly.
I posted this in the other thread but ill put it here as well but ill tidy it up a bit. In My personal experience ( and im not saying this is a 100% of the time thing but it does happen a fair amount) is that girls who are more permiscous(sp still) have emotional issues that they never dealt with, wether it be with there father mother a horrible event that happened in there past, are more likely to respond in a positive manner to this. easier way of putting it : sluts like assholes. If the girl is more emotionally balanced and level headed, doesnt have or dealt with issues in her past and doesnt hate herself being a dick to her will generally get you no where. I can think of countless examples of this very thing happening over and over in my life, girls i have asked " why are you with him hes a asshole" and there response would be " i dont know he makes me feel special" as he calls her a whore and starts yelling. Funny thing was, these girls, would do it, over, and over, and over. They would leave the nice guys who treated them like gods and go back to dating assholes and being miserble.
I called a women in her fifties ma'am at my college. She was clearly trying to hide her age by dressing in clothes college girls wear, name brand designer stuff hat would look normal on a teen but not an older lady. She snapped at me, please don't call me ma'am! Bewildered, I almost walked away but I decided to ask , why? It's a form of respect after all. I'm not a ma'am, she replied, that would be my mother. I prefer miss or my real name. Not knowing her name, as it wasn't anywhere posted I apologized for my manners to which she replied, no need to apologize. Confused, and feeling a bit like a confused character on an 80s episode of the Cosby show, I left.
I've had many issues, and I'd like to think that my standards are higher because of them. =/ Also, I wasn't picturing being called "hon" or "babe" in an asshole kind of way, more like a good-looking guy being genuinely friendly. If the guy said it in a way that suggested "I see you only as a piece of ass and I'm being pseudo-nice because I'd like to get in your pants," of course most girls would shut down and ignore them as much as possible until they went away.
I wrote out this reply after only reading the first post and then decided I should read the other replies and I noticed our posts relate lol.. I would hate being called "hon" or babe". It would make me feel gross and like they were mocking me. I hate being called "ma'am" too actually..that shit makes me feel old. I'm only 20 but when I was 16 people would say I looked way older all the time so now i'm insecure about my age lol. I obviously therefore prefer to be called "miss" but using my name would be best.
As i said, you dealt with youre issues from the sounds of it, im more relating to bottled up ones that never got dealt with. Like i said , definatly not 100% of the time but it does happen alot
Hm... how should I say this... -- If there are 100 women, about 90 of them will respond positively to being called 'babe/honey', but respond negatively to being called 'miss/m'am'. (for example, your professor.) And 10 of them will respond positively to being called 'miss/m'am', and respond negatively to being called 'honey/baby'.
I do this sometimes and it works a lot. I was flirting with this chick at publix earlier and then I look down and see an engagement ring. I was like fuck lol.
It goes like this... If you're ugly, you get called a creep. If you're average, you have a good chance at making a girl smile. If you're really handsome, then you can easily have a girl eating out of the palm of your hand.
Definitely. I'm in college right now, and I say the same things to girls that I see my friends and other guys say all the time and get a positive reaction, but when I (Bushy, messed up hair; tall, thin; ugly face, low confidence) say these things I get looked at like a creep, or told to fuck off. I'm not talking about offensive, sexually charged comments. Mostly stupid icebreakers or conversation starters that everyone uses. I'm so sick of this shit.
Idk man im ugly as fuck but have got with some beautiful women. Its a confidence thing if anything else in my opinion.
It doesn't help your confidence when you're surrounded by 20,000 kids your age, and you haven't been able to get a girl alone since September. :/
Well, I've got a bit more insight into this now. Yesterday one of my coworkers called me "sweetheart," and it sort of made me cringe. The guy is fairly attractive, but he's known as a bit of a douche. If I hadn't been aware of what he was really like, I probably would have been flattered.
Im a guy and a 40 something year old co worker calls me "babe" but she calls everyone that even girls its just like calling someone "bud". If I learned something in my young life its that there are people from different places with different slangs and ways they talk. But you really have to feel out the conversation like if that person tries to flirt alot and they call you "babe" then it might be creepy because they mean it in an emotional way instead of the casual hey "babe" deal ya dig.
Welcome to the real world. Not all guys are so sexually driven, but a majority of them are. But like i said, they really are just acting on instincts.
I'm 24, but saying "ma'am" was beaten into me (and from 2 years at a military high-school academy D: ), so it was hard at first to stifle it from a muffled "Yes'mmmm...m..er.." to restarting my current dialogue with "Yeah". For the most part, I don't really call girls 'hon, sweetheart, babe", but then I'm necessarily rolling in women either. But I do alright. I guess it still feels robotic for me, at least, to throw in something like "babe" to someone I don't know. Plus I just feel awkward after reading old Henrik Ibsen plays where a guy kept calling his wife stuff like "sweet fragile singing bird honey tiny babykins" and the lady went "Bitch I'm outta here."
I don't really compliment that much but when I do, I always turn my swag on and say an creative one not those half asses pickup lines; if she's an interesting person then a conversation but I haven't any interesting females yet.
Kinda funny you'd mention this. I was in a college class a few semesters ago. I hadn't shaved in 3-4 months and had this Moses beard going on and my hair was long as hell. I was wearing clothes that were years old. I looked like I didn't give a shit and if that was your assumption you'd be correct. I was triYng to sell a textbook and when I approached the professor, he was reluctant and told me to announce it to the class myself. I looked kinda like a hobo, but I said in a deep loud voice, can I have your attention please. Everyone went silent in a room of at least 70. I told them the book was or sale as I had two and to meet with me after if they were interested. No one was and no one sat next to me. I went home that night, went shopping, bought all new clothes, shaved my beard and my head and went back to class looking like a different person. A girl sat next to me and half way through class asked for my number and then asked if I was the guy who made the announcement. I told her I was and she said, you clean up well. 5 girls asked for the book after class and the chick who wanted my number grabbed my hand and tried pulling me into the women's bathroom. I told her I was happily married and she insisted she didn't care. She tried kissing me and I pushed her away and went home. Psychological shock much? Most definitely. But then again, her reaction is open to interpretation.