if you study or know a lot about psychology, come in and post your opinions

if youre a newb or dont know what you or i are talking about, dont post. this is pretty serious to me so i'd like to discuss this with someone know actually knows what theyre talking about. i dont want to hear "but there are good people out there, you have to look for them." i already know that, that is not what i am talking about.

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me and another blade were talking about stuff in general, and i started talking about how i dont like meeting new people any more, or how i dont even like trying to get to know a girl that seems to be interested in me.

i seem to push everyone away, in my mind, everyone seems to be more trouble than theyre worth.

i think that most people are out there for personal gain, theyre only around to get something or satisfy themselves.

i feel like this whole getting to meet a girl thing (or a girl meeting a guy thing) is a game. you act like youre interested, you fuck that person, you most likely break things off with that person. that person usually talks shit about you instead of leaving it as it is. they cant just let shit go, they'd rather cause drama instead of moving on with their life.

it seems like everything in life has to involve drama. people are always saying shit about you, or jealous about something and talk shit about something that you rightfully have earned.

it seems that friends arent really friends. theyre just there to hang out or to get things out of you. no one is around when youre down, but theyre all around when you have drugs or money or a nice car. when i have nothing, no one is around. when i run into a bit of money, all my friends seem to want to hang out. girls want to know about me, they want to get to know me. i can be that same person, just with no money at all, and all of a sudden no one gives 2 shits about me.

i feel like life is just a big game, and everyones playing it just to be playing it. everyone does what they see everyone else do. everyones a trend rider, everyones trying to outdo everyone else. people just cant be happy with who they are so they have to be fake and try to impress everyone else, as much as they deny that. if they truly didnt care, they wouldnt spend $120 on a pair of sweatshop sneakers, or buy a new phone every month, or whatever they do to try to stay ahead of the crowd.

lately ive been hearing all this "upgrade/downgrade" bullshit, as if life is all about having a better car, or more money, or a better looking boyfriend/girlfriend than the next guy/girl.

its like everyones competing over something, but what are they competing over? its so pointless. we're all going to die the same way regardless of how much money we have or how many people we have fucked or whatever the case seems to be. i just see everyone around me as fake. not worth the words that you say to them, or the time you spend on them.

is this really how it is these days or is my way of thinking messed up? i should mention that i did DXM along with a few other psychedelics a lot over the years, not excessively, but enough to look at everything in a disassociated way and wonder why are things the way they are. everything is just so fake, the important things arent important to people any more. there is no trust. there is no such thing as a real friend any more.

i dont even try to meet new people, i just shrug everyone off and push them away. i know that not everyone's like this, but those good people are so far apart from each other that is usually isnt worth the time to try to find them.

and is there anyone else that feels this way?

Hey man, i can't say that i understand your predicament, because i don't feel the same way about my life. Nor can i say i know too much about psychology. However, i can tell you are suffering and no one else has responded yet so i guess i'll just try to help you out as much as i can.

First of all, if you really want to build a real relationship with people you must drop your current level of doubt and cynicism. I know you're frustrated with people, but any genuine person who meets you and could be a potential "real" friend will sense this bad vibe coming off you and most likely distance themselves from you. These are the kind of people you want to attract to you, people who aren't just in it for themselves but feel like there is real value in human relationships. And trust me, these people exist. I am lucky enough to have some of them as my closest friends.

This brings me to my next point. If you meet someone who you clearly can tell is using you, or is just an asshole, or you just don't like their energy, simply distance yourself. Don't be a dick back to them, don't plot vengeance or let their bad energy stew in your mind, just move on. A healthy optimism is infectious, and will draw the right kind of people to you almost magnetically.

Stop pushing people away! You have to rise above the stupid competition/ upgrade downgrade bull shit and start living your life in the present moment. Weak and foolish people like to talk shit on others and create drama, it is up to YOU to realize that this is meaningless bull shit and you don't have to deal with any of it.

Anyway, i know i'm not going to solve all your problems in one online post, but i hope i might have planted a seed in your head. Good luck man, i hope stuff works out for you.

Joy

This is what it seems to me: You need to learn to forgive people. of course there is always going to be those few psycho liars, but you just need to put those out of your life.

You do the same things that others protest to do, but yet again you shouldn't be hard on yourself or others. People make mistakes, it happens......try to look a little deeper into their soul. It's complicated and emotional to do so, trust me I know, but you might just find yourself in a lot of people.......When you think about it...deep in all of our souls....we are all the same. Remember that.

** coming from someone in therapy who is going through some of the same issues as you...

i have a nice car, i have an expensive phone, i wear nice clothing, because I like those things. It took me a while to realize this and it didn't happen over night, but, a lot of people buy those things for happiness. The truly satisfied individuals buy those things because they personally are inclined to new technology, style, automobiles. I have expensive clothes, i have cheap clothes, i buy what i like, i try not to worry about the price tag. because even if you do and think you don't care what anyone else thinks, why do you care so much about saving/spending money at the end of the day? Buy what makes you happy, not for anyone else!


ps. i shaved my head, eyebrows, and all facial hear today. proof is in the pudding.

i have a nice car, i have an expensive phone, i wear nice clothing, because I like those things. It took me a while to realize this and it didn't happen over night, but, a lot of people buy those things for happiness. The truly satisfied individuals buy those things because they personally are inclined to new technology, style, automobiles. I have expensive clothes, i have cheap clothes, i buy what i like, i try not to worry about the price tag. because even if you do and think you don't care what anyone else thinks, why do you care so much about saving/spending money at the end of the day? Buy what makes you happy, not for anyone else!


ps. i shaved my head, eyebrows, and all facial hear today. proof is in the pudding.

I know what you mean! I bought a 300 dollar purse to prove my point.....sure it was wasteful but damn it was like I never get to have anything this nice....why not buy it? It made me happy...it wasn't something I wanted to show off, but lots of other people took it that way. I like what I like,......thats just it. I don't mind buying a 1 dollar purse or a 300 dollar purse.
but guess what? My niece spilt chocolate milk all over it...and I didn't get upset.....she's only three......It's just a purse anywho, and it's just 300 dollars. I could live in the woods and make my own food and be satisfied with myself then too......it really doesn't matter to me ^-^

I study psychology, and I'm going to college (1st year of community, but it still counts) to become a counselor of some sort.

It is apparent that through some acts against you or actions of others towards you that you have developed a natural distrust of your fellow man. That is more common than you would think. Given that the media is always going to favor the 'idealistic' lifestyle (perfect car, job, woman, plentiful money, ect). We as humans, because of television and all forms of said media, are conditioned to desire perfection and unrealistic ideals. The simple fact is that whether the person takes to that conditioning is up to the individual. The blunt truth is that there WILL be people who are attracted to nice things and dollar values. But along with that, there are many people who are not.

That being said, you should be a little considerate of your fellow humans. For all they know, you are the one who wants something from them. Have a little faith. Try to put yourself in their position. What WOULD they see in you? Do you give them any reason to desire you simply for personal gain?

As for the dating game, if you are interested in a serious relationship, say so. Truth is always the best policy.

Life in itself is a difficult thing to define, and I believe the best way to go about it is to be around those you genuinely care about. Try and live a life you can be proud of, and do not be discouraged in the bumps and shudders.

we all family, but seemingly these cats can't stand me, haters gonna hate be it a lexus or a camry, understand me
-jay electronica


i always liked that line, maybe you can take something from it.
GL:bongin:

we all family, but seemingly these cats can't stand me, haters gonna hate be it a lexus or a camry, understand me
-jay electronica


i always liked that line, maybe you can take something from it.
GL:bongin:

True that!

If you were to look upon the basis of Freudian Psychology, you'd discover that humans work towards their instincts and base their relations off what they will return from interaction.
A theory which prooves your point is summarized, look it up! It's called Social Exchange Theory: We all subconciously look for a partner who will benefit us.

Social exchange theory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Everything is based off one's perception of fairness, therefore, as Freud would claim - we're very selfish individuals. We're almost primitive/anamalistic with the way we observe exchange in relationships.


Edit: Look into other relationship theories relating to culture, sociology, Social Homogamy, etc. There are many interesting relationship psychology theories out there that emphasize your ideas.

Edited by OneLove., 29 April 2010 - 12:56 PM.

Ahh I know exactly how you feel I've felt like that before too...still do sometimes. You just can't connect to people around you at all because you just see how fake they are, no one's real - sure, everyone has the potential, but so few people fill that potential. People are so blind to everything and exactly how you said about them competing, even though there's no prize.

But yeah, there are rare people who aren't fake like that, and fortunately I found mine, and I can't imagine life without them, even though the world's unfair and they all live in a different country. I dunno I guess you've just got to try and see past the falseness and ignore it and just see the potential that the person has, just to be themselves.

I study psychology too, and agreed on the Freud front of what the previous comment said!

If everyone in the world were high, there'd never be this problem! 'Cause everyone's chilled and totally themselves when they're high, no masks or façades

Sounds like a dash of misanthropy or maybe Amotivational syndrome?
I'll read more later and edit this. I am pretty much the same except with me it's full blown misanthropy and I don't mean the people are boring, stupid and shit kind. I agree with psyna. Except it is pretty hard to see past the flaws and make something good when all you see is bad.

Sounds to me like simple case of major depression.

See a counselor, maybe get perscribed an SSRI (prozac, zoloft, ect). From what I hear those drugs offer great relief from major depression while not having many or very severe side effects.

Zoloft and prozac, great, you want to change??? Maybe even kill yourself??? then enjoy zoloft and prozac. I think you can get through this without the drugs, maybe you need counselling.
In my opinion he is seeing the world for what it is. That can only be good, don't run the race my friend, you are seeing things clearly now. I feel exactly the same and I have since I can remember.

Zoloft and prozac, great, you want to change??? Maybe even kill yourself??? then enjoy zoloft and prozac. I think you can get through this without the drugs, maybe you need counselling.
In my opinion he is seeing the world for what it is. That can only be good, don't run the race my friend, you are seeing things clearly now. I feel exactly the same and I have since I can remember.

Dude don't discourage anti-depressants....many people take them and feel good about it.

I just don't want the guy NOT to see a specialist because of your opinion....sorry but its not up to you, only a doctor....

sorry this sounded harsh but It upsets me when people do that...your not a doctor therefore you can't tell another person not to use or shouldn't at least......okay so maybe they didn't work for you, but not everyone is like that.

Dude don't discourage anti-depressants....many people take them and feel good about it.

I just don't want the guy NOT to see a specialist because of your opinion....sorry but its not up to you, only a doctor....

sorry this sounded harsh but It upsets me when people do that...your not a doctor therefore you can't tell another person not to use or shouldn't at least......okay so maybe they didn't work for you, but not everyone is like that.

Exactly.

Notice my first words of advice were "SEE A COUNSELOR" and "maybe" get prescribed anti-depressants.

i feel exactly the same its a true thing your not fucked up i havent done psychodelics yet and you should tell people that more tell that to everyone you know and rant about it like its stupid and pathetic its a domino effect havent you realized that? they are ALWAYS going to be trend riders they are SHEEP guide them by leading by example the sheep follow the strong money doesnt make you strong go dont let greed infulence you there is no point to fucking everyone you can it only gives you higher chance for std's, more money means more posers out to steal your money, better shit means everyone hates you and gets jealous and they want it so they try to take it and guess why? cause everyone thinks like you so since so many people do it why cant i do it right? which makes everyone else think that its ok to do that shit its not ok people need to be told that because they are retarded children being controlled by the media and following the newest trend the biggest thing the next tv show or even the next fast food item they buy its fucking stupid and people who do this type of shit should be shot in the fucking head so we can thin the gene pool of their stupidity

Hutz, I read your comment, I am just anti when it comes to those drugs. I have never felt I needed them. People I know have had bad reactions including suicide. Thats always a great cure right? Anyway yes they could work but it's a gamble.

Memento, It isn't my decision I'm sure he knows I don't have a Ph.D
Did I say, connote or imply I was a specialist or any specialist knowledge it was mere opinion. I appologise for being anti but sometimes it isn't the individual that has to change.


But yeah go and see someone if you feel that you need to, good luck.

Hutz, I read your comment, I am just anti when it comes to those drugs.

That's fine. But the psychological community is pretty unified in finding modern anti-depressant medication to be very effective in treating depression while keeping side effects to a minimum.

I have never felt I needed them.

Well, as you pointed out... you aren't a doctor. I'd hope that no one would be taking medication for depression without the consultation of a physician.

Anyway yes they could work but it's a gamble.

Almost everything in life is a gamble.

Hutz, I read your comment, I am just anti when it comes to those drugs. I have never felt I needed them. People I know have had bad reactions including suicide. Thats always a great cure right? Anyway yes they could work but it's a gamble.

Memento, It isn't my decision I'm sure he knows I don't have a Ph.D
Did I say, connote or imply I was a specialist or any specialist knowledge it was mere opinion. I appologise for being anti but sometimes it isn't the individual that has to change.


But yeah go and see someone if you feel that you need to, good luck.

No but you did put negativity on the subject, which might make a person less likely to go, but I'm glad you cleared it up.

That's fine. But the psychological community is pretty unified in finding modern anti-depressant medication to be very effective in treating depression while keeping side effects to a minimum.


Well, as you pointed out... you aren't a doctor. I'd hope that no one would be taking medication for depression without the consultation of a physician.


Almost everything in life is a gamble.

Yes this is exactly how I feel.