well i have been with my gf for almost 2 years now, and i love her to death and i am positive she feels the same way. anyways over the past few months her couple of best friends have ended up in another country for college so her time is no longer divided between me and her friends, instead shes either with me or at her place. so lately ive been wanting to kind of just have alone time, ya kno chill out by myself smoke a few loads and read a book or work on some music, but i often find myself lieing to my girldfriend about my time allocations just to get time to myself. i in no way feel like im over it or anything of that nature, its just that we spend so much time together i like to have a small amount to myself. my question to you blades is am i wrong for doing this, and how do i let her kno that sometimes i just want time to myself without hurting her or sending her the wrong message. ( ive attempted this but foresaw failure and aborted the mission)
I think you should just be honest with her. Tell her you need time to yourself, and you'd appreciate some space. You are not wrong for wanting some "you" time, but you are wrong for lying. It always helps me to write down how I feel and then I can look back on it and figure out the kindest way I can say something to someone. Does that make sense?
^this, i was in the same boat as you and often found myself being sketchy around my girlfriend and she didnt take to that very well. If a girl cant respect you need alone time sometimes then you might want to rethink the relationship imo, nothing is worse than an overbearing girlfriend
o my thank you blades for such fast replies and solid advice. i think i am just going to tell her exactly whats up. i dont think it will be a problem at all as long as im clear, everything thus far in our relationship has turned out great
^This. But include what you want to do in the honesty. If you just say "I need space" that could invite some kind of confrontation with your girlfriend. But after 2 years, you guys should be sufficiently close to just say "Yeah, I'm reading right now, can we get together in like an hour?" or "I really want to get this song right, can we hang out later?" If you give your girlfriend a specific reason for wanting to be alone, you'll not only get your alone time, but she probably won't even question it.
Doesn't sound like you're doing anything really wrong, more like you're telling her "white lies", you know? I think I would drop little hints, see if that works. I don't know how you can tell her easily without possibily hurting her feelings?
Girls absolutely hate to be lied to. Be honest, but in a caring way. TRy not to sound like an ass when you tell her that sometimes alone time is needed.
No. You're not wrong for it. And you should not flat out tell her that you need your space, either! Because more than likely she will take that as a great insult and resent you for it. And if you care about her feelings at all, know that this will definitely eat her up inside even if she appears "cool with it" (especially if you've been hiding it from her already, making excuses just to find a bit a freedom?). Or if she were the best friggin' girlfriend, she'd completely understand and proceed to give you, your space. But you said she's either with you, or alone. Therefore she is now dubbed clingy (in my head). So now I'm going to speak on the "worst-case scenerio" here, just to play devil's advocate (I hope you don't mind). Honestly, I'm not seeing a great outcome to your fairytale.. but since you say you're happy, there might be a way to have your cake and eat it too. My advice would be to, one: Do not give any implications of cheating. (IMPORTANT!) The more distance that she is 'sensing' between the both of you, the more irrational she'll begin to think. Most girls will draw up crazzzy conclusions to justify any means of change in their man's behavior. Honest. Once she begins to doubt you, it will compromise your happy relationship for awhile (assuming you're both young and inexperienced and don't quite have a strong foundation, because ....you really did just post a thread in regard to your communication deficit ). Secondly, when you're comfortable enough to ease onto the topic of "hey baby, know that I love you, and only you (*XOXO*, *SMILEYFACE* <--smother her with lots of these and EMPHASIZE ON THE SMILEY FACES TOO) I just feel that sometimes I need my personal space, from us.........". There's actually no comforting way to tell the love of your life that you need your space (without hurting her feelings), so I can't give you the perfect dialogue. I just hope you're sensible enough to know when you're getting bored with your relationship and that you're just being a pushover (vs) you really love this girl but there's no way for you to tell her to GTFO.. so you deal. I'm literally motioning the weight of the two probable causes on both hands, and it sounds a lot to me like you've caught a case of the old man blues. Or maybe I'm assuming a lot here? Any how. If this didn't put your relationship into perspective at all, disregard my post completely!!