Ex-girlfriend rant, advice?

[Blunt .]

So basically I wanted somewhere to rant. I had an on off fling with a girl for over a year, to the point where I really did love her. The feelings were mutual and everything was going amazing. She ended up getting extremely intoxicated at a party and called me crying telling me I talk to too many other girls and because she was cheated on in the past she can't handle it. She said it makes her feel insecure and she can't deal with it, blah blah. So long story short I assumed the relationship was over. At 6:00 AM that morning I received a call asking if she could come over because she no longer felt safe at the party she was at. She said a guy had come onto her over the course of the night and she couldn't get him to leave her alone and overall ended up kissing him on the lips, once. Long story short, over a long time I forgave her and we began to make progress. She began saying things such as "This makes everything worth it, I promise I'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had." To my surprise, a week later out of no where she broke the relationship off. I feel that it was due to her past, comments from others and her head getting in the way of her heart. Problem being, after that I proceeded to tell her she was being fake and she was extremely offended and claims she lost her real feelings for me then, after she broke up with me. She just texted me last night acknowledging that she understood where I was coming from and realized I was right even though it was too late. I still am in love with this girl and I'm not quite sure what to do because just like I knew she was being fake, I know she still has feelings for me otherwise she would have no reason to text me because I told her I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. The reason I said that was because she was lying to the both of us when she broke the relationship up and I found that unfair. Any suggestions on how I should go about repairing my damages? Thanks for letting me vent.

[piffcity09]

Ummm, well if you really want her back then you just have to tell her pretty much what you just told us and hope for the best.

Good luck man.

[Blunt .]

Originally Posted by piffcity09

Ummm, well if you really want her back then you just have to tell her pretty much what you just told us and hope for the best.

Good luck man.

Well I guess I fail then. I tried explaining to her that I don't like where we ended up because of her misstep, but it doesn't seem to have much of an affect on her. She's dead set on not admitting she still has feelings. I don't understand, why she would randomly text me after almost two months of never talking and say something like that unless she was trying to accomplish something by doing it. Not sure what she was trying to do though, a little confused. Thanks though, good vibes your way.

[piffcity09]

Well maybe you should just straight up call her up and say, "I still have feelings for you, do you want to make this work or not? Is it over for good?"

[Blunt .]

Originally Posted by piffcity09

Well maybe you should just straight up call her up and say, "I still have feelings for you, do you want to make this work or not? Is it over for good?"

I like the way you think. I think when she finally responds to my last text I'll make it clear that I still have a lot of feelings for her and I can't handle not being with her but I want whatever makes her the happiest and if that's not being in a relationship right now, so be it. I think I'm doing the right thing by ignoring her and refusing to be her friend after what she did to me though, right? I just feel that if I do agree to be her friend, I'm reinforcing her wrong doings and that's not what I want to do, even though I do always want to be there for her. Oh well, girls are weird. No offense intended, .

[piffcity09]

Yeah dude, I know what you mean, you can't just jump into the friend zone when there are many problems that need to be addressed.

[Dird]

id just tell her the truth about how u feel, if she says she still likes u then make it work, if she doesnt then just forget about her, it will be hard to do if u love her but theres no point wastin ur time goin after someone who doesnt appreciate u

[Blunt .]

Originally Posted by piffcity09

Yeah dude, I know what you mean, you can't just jump into the friend zone when there are many problems that need to be addressed.

Yeah, plus I don't want to be there because we've broken up like I said before, on and off for a year, before and we always end up back together because she lies to herself about her real feelings.

Originally Posted by Dird

id just tell her the truth about how u feel, if she says she still likes u then make it work, if she doesnt then just forget about her, it will be hard to do if u love her but theres no point wastin ur time goin after someone who doesnt appreciate u

The problem is that she won't admit she likes me. We've been through this scenario at least four times already and everytime we end up back together. It's because she has trouble holding a relationship due to her past and everytime we get to close she pushes me away, then realizes she wants me back and ends up coming back. I don't know how to solve the problem or speed up the process.

I just told her she doesn't give me any choice but to say bye and she said "I know, I'm sorry, bye." It's a frustrating position to be in and I don't know how to get out of it. I want nothing to do with her in person and there's no way I'll be having a conversation face to face with her anytime soon, if ever. The worst part is, it's not like I'm desperate and this is the only girl I can get. I have plenty of other girls who want me, I just can't get myself to want them because I can't stop my feelings for this girl even after months of not talking. It's the worst position to be in and it forces me to hide my feelings from even myself constantly. Worst of all is the fact that she said she still had her feelings until I started getting mad at her after the break up and saying she was being fake, although I think I had the right to tell her that because she was and even admits to it.

[piffcity09]

Originally Posted by Blunt .

Yeah, plus I don't want to be there because we've broken up like I said before, on and off for a year, before and we always end up back together because she lies to herself about her real feelings.



The problem is that she won't admit she likes me. We've been through this scenario at least four times already and everytime we end up back together. It's because she has trouble holding a relationship due to her past and everytime we get to close she pushes me away, then realizes she wants me back and ends up coming back. I don't know how to solve the problem or speed up the process.

I just told her she doesn't give me any choice but to say bye and she said "I know, I'm sorry, bye." It's a frustrating position to be in and I don't know how to get out of it. I want nothing to do with her in person and there's no way I'll be having a conversation face to face with her anytime soon, if ever. The worst part is, it's not like I'm desperate and this is the only girl I can get. I have plenty of other girls who want me, I just can't get myself to want them because I can't stop my feelings for this girl even after months of not talking. It's the worst position to be in and it forces me to hide my feelings from even myself constantly. Worst of all is the fact that she said she still had her feelings until I started getting mad at her after the break up and saying she was being fake, although I think I had the right to tell her that because she was and even admits to it.

Damn man maybe you should just show her this thread? I dunno it's a little weird but maybe it would work? I mean the shit your writing there is some deep shit.

[Blunt .]

Originally Posted by piffcity09

Damn man maybe you should just show her this thread? I dunno it's a little weird but maybe it would work? I mean the shit your writing there is some deep shit.

I basically have but I feel awkward talking to her about it anymore because it just seems like it's a one way conversation since I'm the only one willing to admit I have any feelings. I've thought about this for months, most of the time when it really gets to me I like to smoke. This usually helps me look deep into the subject to break it down part by part and that's why it's so in depth and I have everything thought out.

[piffcity09]

Hmm so she has feelings but doesn't want to admit them?