Really starting to like this girl, but this needs to be addressed.

[KannaMan]

Was at my buddy's house drinking earlier and the girl I'm seeing comes over. Night goes on, blah blah blah. It's 3:00 AM and she needs to go sleep for a test tomorrow. I didn't drive there so she takes me back to my place. We make out, and then start talking. Don't remember what happened to the point, but we started talking about the physical side of relationships. That goes on for a bit, and then she tells me (don't quote me) that "I'm not going to have sex with you. I still want to get to know you, but it's something I decided on and chose that it's not what I want right now." I took this as: "I'm interested in pursuing in a relationship with you, but there will not be intercourse involved."

Now, I'm definitely a physical guy, and this has me shaken. I hope this doesn't mean she's saving herself (she's not a virgin though) until marriage, or it will be a while until we have sex. The alcohol has kinda got me confused, but could someone please tell me what that all means? I'd be so down for dating this girl, even if there is no sex for a while, but if its "never going to happen" then I'm having serious second thoughts.

[Lionel Hutz]

"I'm not going to have sex with you. I still want to get to know you, but it's something I decided on and chose that it's not what I want right now."

Those were her words exactly? How long have you been "seeing" each other?

Sounds to me like your dangerously close to the friend zone. In fact, you might already be there.

IMO you have two choices:

A) Talk to her and tell her directly (something to the effect of) that although you like her your not going to be in a half assed relationship. Tell her your looking for something serious (even if your not) and that If she's not interested then it's best you should just be friends (by "friends" i mean stop seeing her almost completely).

B) Start dating/hanging out with one of her friends.

Now you may think that option B is a bit extreme. But in actuality, it's a win-win situation. First off, depending on your moral compass - you have to take it easy with girl 2. Have the other girl over when you are all hanging out or at a party or something. Still talk a LITTLE to girl 1 but give an overwhelming amount of your attention to girl 2 (she might turn out to be better

Women want what they can't have or better yet - what their friends have. To me it seems like saying she's not going to have sex with you is just her way of saying that your nice but she's really not interested. By ignoring her and moving to someone else where the original girl can actually see you with someone else it will put her to a decision. There are a multitude of different thoughts that might run through her mind when she see's you with someone else. Trust me - the ALL bode well for you.

Option A might not be a bad choice either. It's very direct - you will find out exactly what she means by "not having sex with you". The only problem is - if it's a no go. There is no recovering from it. At least with option B you have a lot of different choices and a game plan. Option A is basically putting it all out on the line and seeing if she says yes. People who have been in crappy relationships in the past tend to be really stupid when it comes to making decisions that involve current romances.

Finally - in the event that you choose option A and she says no. You can agree to just be friends but I would seriously consider just bailing. Total avoidance. Don't hang out at the same places, don't talk or text or anything. To constantly see someone who you've been romantically rejected by is not only embarrassing and uncomfortable but there are people (mostly women) who LOVE to lead guys on and on and on and on.... Don't get caught in the trap.

[Postal Blowfish]

my first impression is friend zone.

^i did not read this response at all before i wrote my post.

[KannaMan]

Thanks for the replies. No, though aren't her words exactly. I'm not in the friend zone, I know that. It almost seems to me to be fear of passion.

[flowerchild]

I think she was just saying she doesn't want to sleep with you right away..

[HazeySmoke]

That's prob good man, she doesn't wanna be a slut. I guarentee you could get into that theres no such thing as a healthy relationship without sex.

[KannaMan]

I'm totally down to wait. My last relationship, I had sex with her the first day I even met her. We dated for a while, but it didn't work out.

I'm going to talk to her more about it, though.

[RiskyBusiness]

Originally Posted by flowerchild

I think she was just saying she doesn't want to sleep with you right away..

This is exactly what I thought after I read what she said. I didn't think it'd be that hard to put 2 and 2 together.

[KannaMan]

Appreciate the replies.

[Royal™]

Well you were drunk so your story is probably twisted but from what I gather she got the impression you were ready to fuck right then and there and she wasnt. But she obviously wwants to fuck you.

[GirlyS]

Originally Posted by flowerchild

I think she was just saying she doesn't want to sleep with you right away..

Yeah, dude, why do guys read into shit? I believe she means she just met you and she's not trying to fuck.

[GreenHerbOfLove]

Dude - she's doing Jedi mind games on you. She wants to see how much you want to fuck her. The more you show it, the less she is going to fuck you. Go Darth on her. Keep it nice, occasionally a little dirty in the talk, but then back off. One day on a bunch of drinks, she's going to mount you like a bitch in heat. It is going to be sweaty, intense, and she might freak out afterwards, but you will remember this one for a long time when it happens.

In the mean time, dip your wick where it may fall.

[rehab682]

She said she wants to get to know you first.. The question is how long will this take..

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Originally Posted by GreenHerbOfLove

Dude - she's doing Jedi mind games on you. She wants to see how much you want to fuck her. The more you show it, the less she is going to fuck you. Go Darth on her. Keep it nice, occasionally a little dirty in the talk, but then back off. One day on a bunch of drinks, she's going to mount you like a bitch in heat. It is going to be sweaty, intense, and she might freak out afterwards, but you will remember this one for a long time when it happens.

In the mean time, dip your wick where it may fall.

Yeah, she sounds like one of these...Just play it cool. When she plays "Hard to get"...Don't play. Your obviously atleast 18, and IMO, at 18 your way too fucking old to be playin' games.

Don't get all dead-set on this chick because she WILL fuck with you. Just kind of keep her in your back pocket and shop around while you have her there.

You gotta beat the tease at her own game. Use reverse psychology...Make her want to fuck you. If she makes you want to fuck her, then your letting her be the man, and you fail.

I dunno, this is just what i do normally, because i do hookup with alot of chicks that play hard to get, and it's starting to get really annoying and aggrevating.

[Dum Spiro Spero]

Yea man, as a pretty experienced player, I can tell you what she's doing here.

She's testing you. If you react to this situation in any way that shows you are needy, or allow her to break your cool with these comments, you have probably lost. Keep your confidence at all times. Be cocky, be funny. Treat her like your annoying little sister.

You didn't include exactly how you responded to her statement in your post, but something good to say would have been along the lines of - "Do you really think I'm that easy? Ahahaha", with a playful, humorous tone.

If she calls you and wants to meet up, tell her you are busy. Don't talk on the phone for more than 15 minutes. Things which are unavailable are inherently more valuable.

Good luck buddy.